WholeLife180

19/05/2025

Adverse Childhood Experiences: Survival Codes, Coping and the Path to a Balanced Life

If you’ve found yourself stuck in cycles of anxiety, perfectionism, emotional numbness or relentless self-criticism, you may have wondered: Why do I react this way? The answer, for many of us, can be traced back to the blueprint of our earliest years, our Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). Understanding and identifying the survival coping mechanisms we developed in response to these experiences isn’t just a journey of self-awareness. It’s the foundation for healing, self-compassion and building a life that feels balanced and genuinelyjoyful.

What are ACEs and Why Do They Matter?

Adverse Childhood Experiences are potentially traumatic events that occur before the age of18. These can include physical, emotional or sexual abuse, neglect, witnessing violence or growing up with family members who have mental health or substance use issues. ACE studies and decades of research have shown a clear link between early adversity and a whole list of adult challenges such as chronic health conditions, mental health struggles, difficulties in relationships and low self-esteem.

The impact of ACEs is not only about what happened in early childhood, it’s about how we learned to survive.

Survival Mode: Coping Mechanisms as Survival Codes

When safety is unpredictable, when love feels conditional, or when expressing emotions is unsafe, kids adapt. These adaptations: hypervigilance, perfectionism, emotional numbness, aren’t personality flaws. They’re survival codes. Strategies our younger selves developed to navigate a world that didn’t always feel safe or loving.

Let's break down a few of these survival codes.

Hypervigilance: Always on Alert

If you grew up in a home where safety was unpredictable, you may have learned to scan every room, every tone of voice, every facial expression for signs of danger. This state of constant alertness served a purpose. It was your body and mind’s way of trying to stay one step aheadof chaos or harm.

However, hypervigilance has a cost. As adults, it can mean living with chronic anxiety, trouble relaxing, sleep issues and difficulties trusting others. Your nervous system remains stuck in survival mode or “fight or flight”, even when the original threat is diminished or gone.

Perfectionism: When Love Was Conditional

Did you only feel truly valued when you excelled, behaved perfectly or met impossible standards? If love, approval or attention was only granted when you excelled, behaved perfectly or met some set standard, it would be perfectly understandable to chase perfection.

The drive for perfection isn’t a character flaw. It’s a survival strategy. It was a way to earn the acceptance and security every child needs and craves. As adults, perfectionism can become exhausting, leading to burnout, chronic dissatisfaction and a harsh, relentless inner critic.

Emotional Numbness: When Feeling or Experiencing Emotions Wasn’t Safe

In some homes, showing emotion was dangerous or unsafe. Maybe showing emotions led to ridicule, punishment or neglect. In these environments, kids learn to shut down their feelings entirely. Emotional numbness or disassociation becomes a shield, protecting you from pain, rejection or fear. This “checking out” can persist into adulthood, showing up as a sense of emptiness,disconnection or the inability to feel joy or sadness. It’s not laziness or coldness. It’s aprotective reflex, a circuit breaker that once kept you safe.

Your Patterns Aren’t Personality Flaws - They’re Survival Codes

It’s so easy to look at these patterns and feel shame, frustration or hopelessness. The truth is,these patterns are not evidence of your brokenness. They are evidence of your resilience. These patterns are the way you adapted to survive.

Understanding this distinction is the first step toward healing. You are not “too sensitive”, “too anxious” or “emotionally unavailable” by nature. You are someone who survived and your survival codes deserve patience and compassion.

Your survival codes were brilliant adaptations to a world that didn’t always meet your needs. But you are no longer that child. Today, you have the power to understand, honor and gently release the coping mechanisms that once kept you safe but now hold you back.

Recovery is not about erasing your past. It’s about integrating your story, reclaiming your choices, and building a life where safety, love and emotional freedom are possible. The journey is challenging but it is also profoundly hopeful. By understanding your survival codes, you open the door to a happier, more balance life where you are free to thrive, not just survive.

▪ What survival codes do you recognize in yourself?
▪ How have they helped you in the past? How might they be holding you back now?
▪ What new coping skills are you ready to explore as you move toward a more balanced joyfullife?

You are not your trauma. You are the survivor, the healer and the author of yournext chapter!

05/05/2025

How To Set Realistic Wellness Goals When Dealing With Chronic Illness

Everyday, I’m blown away by the incredible strength I see in my clients. Especially for those with chronic illness who also deal with unpredictable symptoms that vary in strength and frequency. Setting health goals might look a bit different when you’re not sure if your body will comply. Just like so many things related to life with chronic illness, setting health and wellness goals in this situation requires a bit of self compassion and flexibility. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way.

💥 Create versions of your action steps that are appropriate for whatever symptoms you might be having that day. This is a way to be flexible and gentle with yourself. Don’t be afraid to adjust your goals based on how you feel each day. Honor what your body is telling you while still moving forward. Flexibility is your secret weapon.
💥 Experiment with what works for you. As symptoms change, you might need to reassess what helps and what doesn’t. Listen to your body and pay attention to what it’s telling you. Prioritize self care. Rest, nourishment and self-compassion are non negotiable. They are the foundation.
💥 Celebrate even small wins. Remember that small gains and slow progress are still moving you forward. It’s difficult to even see the small wins sometimes. Make sure to check in with your “big picture” to notice how far you’ve come. Small wins can add up to big changes!
💥 Connect and share. You are not alone in this journey. Reach out to your community, share your experiences and learn from others. Support from like minded people can not only lift you up, your tribe will provide crucial validation and encouragement.

This is tough stuff to navigate. Especially within the context of busy, active lives, with symptoms waxing and waning and never knowing how you’ll feel, it’s imperative to be flexible and kind to yourself. The most important part of the path is to stay on it, in whatever way works for you.Sending love and support to all my fellow chronic illness warriors!

09/03/2025

Most of us are aware that the Big Food industry deliberately engineers foods to be as addictive as possible. There are literally people sitting in a lab somewhere, working hard to make it impossible for you to stop eating these Ultra Processed Foods.

Ozempic and other GLP-1 drugs have made it possible for people to break free from this cycle. These medications have been working so well, people are realizing for themselves that these UPFs have an unnatural, chemical attraction. People are realizing that they feel pretty great without these highly palatable, Ultra Processed foods in their lives. People are experiencing less food noise and a more peaceful relationship with food, sometimes for the first time in their lives.

In response, the Big Food industry is now working to counteract the effects of these GLP-1 medications. They are so committed to keeping you addicted, that they are back in the lab, engineering these foods to not respond to these GLP-1 medications.

I think these GLP-1 medications have a place in helping to start the process of unravelling years of diet culture trauma. In my opinion, when people feel the difference between a body fueled by UPFs and a body fueled by whole foods, it can be pretty powerful motivation. I see these GLP-1 medications as a starting place. A way to take the edge off, lessen the overwhelm, quiet the food noise, so that the real work can begin.

The obvious willingness of the Big Food industry to harm for profit can be a huge motivating factor for moving yourself away from a diet centered around these foods. These foods are truly chemically addicting, breaking free is difficult and requires support. Reach out to learn more about how to navigate this journey!

As revolutionary new weight-loss drugs turn consumers off ultraprocessed foods, the industry is on the hunt for new products.

17/01/2025

08/11/2024

What Do I Think About Diets?

I was recently asked what I think about diets in general, and believe me, I have thoughts!

Americans are currently spending over 70 billion dollars a year on weight-loss programs, mealservices, diet books, magazines and other products. It’s as American as apple pie. And it’s also big business. Each different diet is it’s own potential market opportunity. For example, we have gluten free pasta, keto cookies, plant based meat, slimfast shakes, etc. Whatever youneed to help you stick to your diet du-jour is available for purchase.

Again, this is a 70 billiondollar industry. I am not including medically therapeutic, practitioner prescribed diet plans inthis assessment.

What do all businesses need in order to survive? Customers! Not only do businesses needcustomers in order to stay in business, they need customer retention. They need their targetcustomers to have long relationships with their businesses. They need repeat customers.

What does this mean for Diet Culture? It means that in order for these extremely lucrativebusinesses to survive, they literally need you to FAIL in your attempts at weight-loss. If the dietplan they’ve sold you worked sustainably, they would lose you as a customer. Diet Cultureneeds you to FAIL in order to survive. They need you to FAIL repeatedly in order to insureprofitable longevity.

What does this mean for YOU? It means that your years of weight-loss attempts, with failureafter failure are NOT YOUR FAULT. It means that your failures have been engineered tohappen. Your continued failure is the desired outcome. It’s not your fault. You are not weak, notlazy, you are not any of the negative things Diet Culture has relentlessly told you about yourself.

So much of disordered eating is rooted in trauma. Diet Culture actually causes trauma withthese repeated failures and awful self-blaming messaging. Diet Culture perpetuates a learnedhelplessness that can effect all areas of your life. In my experience, sustainable weight lossdepends on addressing the root cause emotional issues that underly most triggers. In myopinion, any diet that does not address the emotional issues is doomed to fail.

What is the solution? An “unlearning” needs to happen. We need to unlearn core negativebeliefs about ourselves that have been perpetuated by Diet Culture. We need to reallyinternalize the understanding that this has been done to us, we are not defective, not faulty,and there is nothing inherently wrong with us, keeping us from being successful in ways thatare seemingly effortless for others. We need to unlearn the false belief that we’re personallyflawed so that we can begin treating ourselves with self-compassion, kindness and to trulybegin to heal.

Identifying and addressing triggers by learning to pause and think about what’s reallyhappening in your heart and mind is essential to gaining more control around problematiceating behaviors. Noticing patterns around these triggers is the first step in breaking them. It’sironic that as an Emotional Eating Coach, the most impactful thing I’ve seen clients do for theirsuccess, is to denounce Diet Culture and to really understand how it’s influenced their journey.

Are you struggling on the diet rollercoaster? Have you spent years of your life chained to DietCulture? There is support available and a peaceful relationship with food is a real possibility.Reach out for a free discovery call to learn more about sustainable weight-loss and increasedpeace and happiness around food!

23/10/2024

Freedom From Emotional Eating

Do you struggle with Emotional Eating? Do you find yourself turning to food for comfort when feeling stressed, bored or overwhelmed? Are you completely fed up with the dieting roller coaster?

We don’t always eat to satisfy physical hunger. We often turn to food as an unconscious response to tough emotions. When going through treatment for my own health issues, as I was trying to navigate my Doctor prescribed dietary protocol, I quickly realized that my wanting to eat was not in response to actually feeling hungry, but I was using food as a way to self soothe from boredom, stress and sometimes just wanting to disassociate or disengage from the world.

Emotional eating can serve as a way to escape painful memories or emotions. Trauma can significantly impact our relationship with food and eating habits. There is a strong link between traumatic experiences and developing disordered eating patterns. People with PTSD, for example, often struggle with emotional regulation. Food can become a coping mechanism to self soothe and manage intense emotions that arise from traumatic memories or triggers.

The act of eating, especially foods that you consider to be your comfort foods, can provide temporary relief and distraction. This is especially common for people who were soothed or pacified with food as young children. Maybe your emotional needs weren’t met. Maybe your emotional needs were ignored or even vilified. Maybe your early childhood felt lonely, confusing or even dangerous. Self soothing with food might have started as a coping mechanism or survival skill however, turning to these coping mechanisms too often, results in a problematic eating pattern that becomes your default way of being.

To achieve lasting sustainable weight loss and improved health, it’s crucial to address both the physical and emotional aspects of eating. You might benefit from 1on1 support from a board certified health coach who can help you to understand your values, strengths and passions. A health coach will help you learn how to access these superpowers in order to identify and unlearn unhealthy coping mechanisms that might be underlying your emotional eating patterns. Working with a health coach can make it easier to explore alternative coping mechanisms that better serve you and help you achieve peace around food.

Overcoming emotional eating is a journey not a destination. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you learn to identify and navigate emotions and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Reach out for support from health coaches or therapists specializing in emotional eating and food addiction.

By acknowledging your emotions and finding alternative ways to cope, you can break free from the cycle of food addiction and cultivate a healthier relationship with both food and your emotions. I can help support you on your journey. In your free consultation, I can explain more and answer all your questions. www.wholelife180.com or amyfein@wholelife180.com

Discover healing through stress management & food relationship repair. Learn more!

25/06/2024

Can you ever imagine telling someone addicted to co***ne to just "pay attention" as a way to navigate their addiction?

Why would anyone think this would be effective for Food Addiction? Processed foods have literally been engineered to hook you into addiction. Entire industries have been created to study the most effective ways to keep you wanting these foods. These foods have been specifically designed to NOT signal satiety and to keep you feeling hungry.

There is help for this! We are a group of National Board Certified Health Coaches and Therapists waiting to welcome you into our incredible support community! We are dedicated to doing away with harmful diet culture and giving you the tools to conquer Food Addiction and Emotional Eating, and saying goodbye to the diet rollercoaster for good!

Join us at soulsistersunited.com

Imagine someone saying, "Just focus" while you’re doing something you know you shouldn’t.

Sounds a bit off, right?

That’s what it feels like when someone tells a person struggling with food addiction to "just pay attention" to their eating.

It's not paying attentionl; it’s about battling an addiction.

Joan Ifland likened this to telling someone addicted to co***ne to "just pay attention" while using.

It puts into perspective how deep and challenging food addiction can be.

It’s not a matter of willpower or attention; it’s about overcoming a powerful pull that many don’t understand.

Let’s begin to have the conversation about food addiction.

It’s real, it's tough, and it deserves as much support and understanding as any other type of addiction.

If you’re feeling like this might be something you could use some support with, we’re here for you at Soul Sisters United.

Together, we can navigate this journey, focusing on healing and sustainable change.

05/06/2024

The Vicious Cycle of Stress Eating

When life gets overwhelming, many of us turn to food for comfort. Stress eating is using food to suppress or soothe negative emotions like anxiety, frustration, anger or sadness rather than satisfying physical hunger. While it may provide temporary relief, emotional eating often leads to feelings of guilt, potential weight gain and even more stress down the road.

Why We Stress Eat

There are both psychological and physiological reasons why we are drawn to eat more when feeling stressed

▪️Emotional Connection to Food
From an early age, food is used to reward, soothe or celebrate. We associate certain foods with positive feelings and memories of comfort. When stressed, we crave those same foods to self-soothe.
▪️Stress Hormones
Stress causes a spike in the hormone cortisol which increases appetite and motivates cravings for sugary, salty, and fatty foods that provide bursts of pleasure and temporary calming effects.
▪️Distraction and Numbing
Eating provides a distraction or numbing from whatever is causing the stress. For a short time, the mind is focused on the gratification of eating instead of the stressor.

Breaking The Stress Eating Cycle

While an occasional lapse isn’t the end of the world, repeatedly using food to cope with stress can lead to serious problems like obesity, diabetes and other health issues. Here are some tips to avoid or break the stress eating habit.

▪️Identify Triggers
Become more aware of your personal triggers for stress-related munching, whether it’s certain locations, emotions, people or times of day
▪️Find Other Comforts
Make a list of healthier alternatives that provide comfort, distraction, or pleasure like taking a bath, calling a friend, going for a walk or listening to music.
▪️Don’t Restrict
Completely restricting foods you enjoy can lead to cravings and binges. Practice moderation by savoring small portions of “fun foods” so you don’t feel deprived.
▪️Reduce Overall Stress
While not always possible, reducing overall life stressors through exercise, getting enough sleep and effective time management can minimize relying on food for relief.

Stress eating is a common challenge, but being mindful of triggers and having a plan for dealing with cravings in a healthier way can help break the vicious cycle.

For support reach out at amyfein@wholelife180.com or book a free consult at https://my.practicebetter.io/ #/618d433639803304106fdbfd/bookings

Dedicated to educating and empowering people suffering from chronic illness and symptoms to improve their health through dietary and lifestyle changes.

23/05/2024

I am absolutely appalled by this. Nestle, possibly concerned that so many people are on these GLP-1 drugs and no longer hyper-consuming their highly processed foods, is introducing a new line of highly processed foods specifically targeted to GLP-1 users.

Obesity and metabolic diseases are at epidemic levels in this country. And it's largely because of these highly processed foods. In addition to metabolic illness, food addiction is real and is directly caused by these highly processed foods. So much needless quality of life deficit. So many preventable deaths.

Create the problem and then create the "solution" to the problem. There is no money in cures. 😡

The new product line consists of portion-aligned foods with high protein and essential nutrients

03/04/2024

Pretty impressive and shocking results from a Stanford Medicine study showing that a therapeutic ketogenic diet can substantially treat serious mental illnesses such as Bi Polar Disorder and Schizophrenia. These are debilitating mental health conditions that are often difficult to treat with medications that come with heavy duty side effects. Metabolic psychiatry is the revolution that the mental health field desperately needs!

Key findings of the single-arm pilot trial include:

79% of participants showed clinically meaningful psychiatric improvement – 1 point change or more on the Clinical Global Impression scale (CGI).
75% of participants were in recovery or a recovered state at the study's conclusion (on a Clinical Mood Monitoring Scale (CMM)).
100% of participants who met the criteria for metabolic syndrome were in remission by the end of the study.
100% of fully adherent participants achieved a recovered state at the study's conclusion, demonstrating a correlation between the frequency of achieving nutritional ketosis and the level of symptom improvement.
Reductions were seen in weight, body mass index (BMI), waist circumference, and visceral adipose tissue.
Improvements were seen in insulin sensitivity, quality of life, and sleep.
Improvements were identified across all psychiatric measures.
A ketogenic nutritional intervention was safe and feasible with a high adherence rate.

/PRNewswire/ -- The field of psychiatry may have a new ally in the form of a medical ketogenic diet, according to the findings of a pioneering pilot study...

19/03/2024

Nurturing Your Well-Being: The Power of Setting Self-Boundaries

In the hustle and bustle of busy modern life, it’s easy to be swept away by obligations, commitments, and the needs of others. In this whirlwind, we often neglect one crucial aspect of self-care: setting boundaries. Boundaries aren’t walls designed to keep people out; they’re guidelines we set to ensure our well-being and preserve our sense of self. Here are some insights into the art of setting self-boundaries.

▪️Get in touch with what really matters to you. Setting self boundaries is about understanding your own needs and values and communicating those needs in healthy, productive ways. Cultivate self-awareness around what drains your energy, triggers stress or compromises your values. Recognizing what truly matters allows you to establish boundaries that protect your mental emotional and physical health.

▪️Communicate with confidence. You are taking responsibility for your well-being and happiness. Clearly articulate your needs, preferences and limits to others without fear of judgement or guilt. Practice saying “no” when necessary and expressing yourself with confidence and respect.

▪️Prioritize self-care. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish, it’s an essential act of self-preservation. It’s putting your own oxygen mask on first so you are strong, healthy and better able to show up for yourself and others. You cannot pour from an empty cup, so prioritize your well-being without apology.

▪️Learn to say no. Saying “no” is a powerful boundary setting tool. It’s okay to decline invitations, requests or demands that don’t align with your priorities or values. Saying no is not a rejection of others, it’s a commitment to honoring and caring for yourself.

▪️Be firm but flexible. Boundaries aren’t rigid rules set in stone; they can evolve as circumstances change. Be firm in your commitment to your boundaries, but also recognize when adjustments are necessary. Flexibility allows you to adapt to changing situations while still prioritizing your needs.

Boundaries are essential in creating balance in your life. When you design boundaries in alignment with your needs and values, you are better able to prioritize things that truly matter. You are better able to tune out the noise and distractions that don’t serve you. Setting self-boundaries will reduce stress, improve emotional health, and allow you to live a more authentic fulfilling life.

08/03/2024

Did you know that Alzheimer's Disease is now being referred to as Type 3 Diabetes?

Research is strongly suggesting that Alzheimer's should be classified as a type of diabetes. Multiple studies are showing a clear association between hyperinsulinemia, insulin resistance in the brain and the development of Alzheimer's.

We've known for a long time that people with diabetes have a 60% increased chance of developing dementia. Insulin resistance, which is a hallmark of diabetes, interferes with your brain's ability to process glucose (sugar) and turn it into energy. If your brain cannot process glucose properly, your brain's metabolism slows down and your brain cells begin to die. Parts of your brain that are specifically responsible for memory actually shrink in size. By the time a person is noticing memory problems, this shrinkage has already occurred.

The good news is that by modifying your diet to address insulin resistance, you can actually prevent Alzheimer's Disease and halt the progression where it's already begun. There have even been instances where people have even regained prior cognitive abilities.

There are such exciting developments coming from Alzheimer's research. We've always thought of Alzheimer's as a disease we couldn't do anything about. We are now learning that we can control the health of our brains through diet and lifestyle. We can create the conditions necessary for a long vibrant life creating and cherishing memories.

Are you experiencing memory issues? Do you have a family history of Alzheimer's Disease? If you'd like to learn more about how to protect your brain, prevent dementia and Alzheimer's please don't hesitate to reach out for a free consultation!