28/07/2025
Thinking About Couples Counselling? Hereâs How to Get the Most Out of ItâŚ
Couples counselling isnât just about âfixing problemsââitâs about learning to communicate better, deepen your connection, and grow both individually and together.
As a colleague and friend of mine once said, âCouples therapy works best when BOTH partners take 100% responsibility for the relationship.â Iâve always loved that.
To get the most out of the process, try to come with curiosity, not blame. The goal isnât to winâitâs to understand. Sessions are an opportunity to explore your own triggers, unmet needs, and relational patterns. Your needs are entirely valid, and good couples therapy helps you understand how both of you can begin to meet each otherâs needs in a more respectful, mutual, and attuned way.
Expect a safe space where difficult conversations can unfold gently, with support and care. Weâll go at your paceâthis is your space to lead in service of yourself and the relationship.
If itâs working well, youâll probably learn just as muchâif not moreâabout yourself as you do about your partner. And those insights tend to ripple out into other areas of life, helping you become more grounded, more authentic, and more fulfilled.
Some helpful tools we might explore include:
- Communication strategies
- Emotional attunement techniques
- Conflict repair processes
And for those who want to dive deeper between sessions, here are a few great books:
- Fight Right
- Relationship Reset
- Nonviolent Communication
- Loveâs Executioner (the author of this book, Irvin Yalom, is my idol!)
I genuinely believe in this workâmy wife and I benefited immensely from couples counselling in the earlier years of our marriage.
And if you and your partner are feeling curious about taking this step, feel free to reach out. Iâd be honoured to support you both.
