13/09/2023
What to say to someone with suicidal thoughts: How to support a loved one that’s struggling
You always want to be able to comfort those close to you, but when they talk about deep and bitter truths like struggling with suicidal thoughts, it can be hard to know what to say—it’s scary to hear, and oftentimes, there isn’t much you personally can do about it.
What’s important when someone is talking to you about having suicidal thoughts is to give them an accepting space to be themselves and feel what they feel, not necessarily relate or try to fix it for them. Though it’s good to support and be there for someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts, the people best equipped to treat and help them manage their symptoms are mental health professionals. Maintaining everyone’s safety is the highest priority, and connecting someone with resources to support their safety is essential.
Two women hugging
Where Do Suicidal Thoughts Come From?
Thoughts of su***de generally occur when a person feels as though they are unable to cope with overwhelming difficulties in their life. Oftentimes, people contemplating su***de feel extremely overwhelmed and unable to manage what’s happening in their lives, and see ending their life as a way to escape the pain they’re feeling. What might surprise some is that thinking of what might happen or how su***de might occur is not unusual at all, and most people that think about it don’t actually follow through.
The concern is when it becomes a frequent thought or fixation, especially if those thoughts are acted upon. If thoughts of su***de occur more frequently and are challenging to dismiss, or if the person starts to think of a plan to end their life or gathers the means to end their life, these signs need to be taken very seriously and safety measures should be taken.
Some factors that can place an individual at risk for suicidal thoughts are:
Certain mental health disorders
Substance use disorders
Job or financial loss (economic hardship)
Hopelessness
Relationship loss
Loneliness
Traumatic event (abuse, neglect, discrimination)
Su***de is a public health concern. While it affects people of all races and ages, there are certain populations that are especially vulnerable to su***de, such as veterans, men, LGBTQIA+ youth, tribal populations, and people of color. Approximately every 11 minutes, someone takes their life.
If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts or suicidality and need help and support, the Su***de and Crisis Lifeline can be reached by calling 988, and is an excellent resource with experts on the line waiting to assist you.
Are Suicidal Thoughts a Sign of Depression?
Suicidal thoughts can be a symptom of a depressive disorder. However, it is not a sure sign, and other symptoms need to be seen in order to make a diagnosis. Some examples of depressive disorders include:
Disruptive mood dysregulation
Major depressive disorder (MDD)
Persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia)
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD)
Substance/medication-induced depressive disorder
Depressive disorder due to a medical condition
Suicidal thoughts are also not necessarily a sign of feeling depressed. Though the term depression means many things to many people, depression and depressive disorders are not the same thing. Depression or having a depressed mood can be a wide ranging and relatively persistent negative state, but it is not a clinically diagnosable condition.
Depressive disorders, though, include feeling sad or irritable along with changes in behavior that affect a person’s ability to function at home, school, work, or other important areas of life. When someone’s low mood and behavior start to disrupt their lives, it’s important to talk to a mental health professional about their symptoms.
What If Someone Says They Are Suicidal?
If someone expresses that they are at risk of killing themselves or or are having thoughts of death and su***de, you can call or text 988.
The 988 Su***de and Crisis Lifeline is the foremost resource for su***de prevention and mental health crisis care. They have mental health and su***de prevention experts ready to take your call 24/7 that are trained to deal with these situations. They can promise confidentiality when you or someone you know speaks to them, and they will talk you through your situation with empathy, understanding, and expert advice.
What Helps Suicidal Thoughts?
The best thing to do to help quiet or dismiss suicidal thoughts is to see a mental health professional. Generally, if a person meets with a mental health provider and expresses suicidal thoughts, the therapist will perform a su***de assessment and create a safety plan. Most safety plans include:
Identification of triggers: Thoughts, feelings, situations, and circumstances that put you at emotional risk.
Identification of warning signs: Behaviors that show that you are becoming more at risk.
Identification of coping skills: Practices that help you effectively manage the issue.
Establishing reminders of consequences for unsafe behavior.
Contact information: 2-4 supportive individuals and su***de prevention resources that can be on-hand or on-call when at risk.
Identification of safe places.
Address of closest Emergency or Crisis Response Center
Each of these practices and precautions will help keep your thoughts and actions in check, whether you are only struggling with quieting suicidal thoughts or you are concerned that you might make an attempt. Each of these are helpful safeguards to protect your mental and physical well-being.
If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, please get immediate help. Call the Su***de & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or go to your nearest emergency room.
