Mindfulness is a way of Being, connecting us to a deeper sense of ourselves and our present moment experience. Scientific research has demonstrated its many possible benefits in coping with stress, depression, sleeping problems, self-esteem and confidence, addictions, physical pain and illness, equipping us with a tool to deal wisely with these and the many other difficulties and challenges of ev
eryday life. Through sustained practise of mindfulness we return to this, our immediately accessible ground of being, bringing more calm, clarity and contentment into our lives. I did my first 10-day retreat in 2006 at Passadhi, a small Buddhist retreat centre in Adrigole on the Beara penninsula. Having had a few brief encounters with meditation - a weekend retreat in a Tibetan Buddhist centre and a day-long workshop in the Zen tradition - I was curious to discover what could I expect by dedicating this longer amount of time to it. Would I notice some changes in myself and my way of being? Would I be calmer, more relaxed, more wise, compassionate perhaps? What would happen? I felt nervous to see would I actually be able to do it. Having for some time struggled with professional direction, a move to a new city at the end of a relationship had also brought much change and uncertainty. I wasn't sure how to best deal with the array of difficult thoughts and emotions that were arising. After trying conventional healing approaches, I decided to explore meditation in a deeper way to see if this would provide me with the tools I needed to manage better what I was experiencing. Of primary concern was my busy active mind, constantly hopping from one thought to another, worrying and trying to fix my relationships, work and financial issues. How would I control it all and come up with solutions for these problems? I wasn't sure I'd be such a 'good' meditator. Following the instructions on the retreat I became reassured that it wasn't actually necessary to stop my mind at all, but I could learn to work with it. Practising over and over again to notice, become alert to and aware of what was happening in each moment in my inner world, looking to see what I was feeling or thinking and noticing the attitude and relationship to my experience, helped to deepen a path of self-discovery. I became interested and intrigued to see all the ways I communicated with myself and what it was that occupied me on a deeper level. Bringing my current experience into focus with gentle persistence, I discovered that I was constantly returning to myself. And through this I I found a refuge, a sense of rest, and a practial way of 'being with' what was arising in any given moment. Now more open, spacious and kind to myself and what was happening, I actually started to befriend myself. I was hooked! Travelling to Thailand to immerse myself further in the practise, I entered a Buddhist forest monastery and took temporary ordination, as is customary in the Theravaden tradition. Guided by a Canadian monk, I stayed for three months practising meditative sitting and walking, looking and listening to what was happening in each moment. After this, and over a seven year period, I regularly visited the south east of India and a holy mountain and ashram (or spiritual community) supportive of my meditative enquiry. In 2009-10, I trained as a Mindfulness facilitator with the Institute of Mindfulness Based Approaches, Germany and have since offered practical 8-week, 4-week and individual programmes to people from all backgrounds.