Shrink4Men

12/07/2025

Your daily reminder.

20/06/2025

A client recently pointed out a stark contrast between his attorney and his NPD ex’s:

His attorney focused on facts like bank records, tax returns, emails.
Hers? Personal attacks, falsehoods, and courtroom ego fluffing.

No joke, her lawyer actually said in court, “Jennifer” (not her real name) is BELOVED by her 100,000 Instagram followers!”

(Now that's what I call earning your retainer the hard way. Oof!)

Narcissists, borderlines, histrionics, and other toxic types don’t argue facts.
They attack with smears, distortions, and outright lies.
And they often experience facts as attacks.

As one client’s borderline ex once shrieked:
“Facts are mean!!”

🤷‍♂️

In court, like often attracts like.
High-conflict exes tend to hire high-conflict attorneys—hyper-aggressive, dishonest, emotionally reactive, and constantly trying to sneak something slimy past the judge.
You know, the “best interests of the children” ambulance chasers.

Meanwhile, many of my clients choose high-integrity attorneys.
The kind who insist on “taking the high road” to avoid pushback for fear of appearing to “bully a woman.”

Clients who do best retain strategic, no-BS attorneys who know when to negotiate, when to draw a hard line, and how to throw a clean punch in a street fight without losing credibility.

It’s not just possible to find a lawyer who can fight with integrity, it’s essential if you want to come out of family court as intact as possible.

If you’ve found one of those unicorns, count yourself lucky.
They’re rare. But they exist.

19/06/2025

If a narcissist narcissists (or a borderline borderlines) in the forest and no one’s there to hear it… do they make a sound?
Who cares!?

You’re not there to hear it.
Ahh, the Power of No Contact.

If you’re still obsessing over what your NPD/BPD ex is doing (especially if you don’t share minor kids) STOP.

Their chaos belongs to them.
You’re not their supply.
Their drama isn't your problem anymore.

Enjoy waking up without dreading the day ahead.

Become one with the No Contact.

18/06/2025

Okay, well, not literally, but close enough.

You show up to couples therapy hoping for help.
"Trauma-informed" therapist shows up with a female-biased trauma script, a box of tissues, and a pre-loaded assumption that *YOU* are the problem.

Your wife?
Explosive, manipulative, and emotionally abusive?

Noooo, she’s just “hurting.”
And you?
Well, you clearly need to “validate her more,” “stop labeling,” and “do the work” says Esther Jenn, MSW (Must Serve Women).

Meanwhile, you’re the one sleeping in your car to avoid another 3AM rage spiral. Correction: Proving what a bad husband you are because you're not adequately "co-regulating" your "empath" wife.

This is what happens when therapists are trained to spot male aggression, but not female emotional abuse.
When “he looks calm/fatigued/frustrated” = guilty
and “she’s crying” = credible.

So yeah. The Live Laugh Love poster should’ve burst into flames.
That's not therapy. It's professional, fee-for-service enabling.

🔥

16/06/2025

Ever notice how you started disappearing from your own life before she even asked you to?

A lot of men don’t wait to be told “you’re selfish” or “you care more about your friends than me.”

They already know the storm is coming—so they give up their hobbies, friends, gym time, pets, even family before the first guilt trip lands.

Not because they want to.
Not because they’re weak.
But because—usually starting with mom or dad—they learned:
Resistance = punishment
Being your true self = loss of love
So they comply in advance.

This is what emotional abuse often looks like for men.

It doesn’t always scream.
It doesn’t always hit.
Sometimes, it just wears you down until you disappear piece by piece—and call it “compromise” or “happy wife, happy life.”

It’s healthy to have hobbies.
It’s healthy to have friends.
It’s healthy to stay close to your family and the things that make you you.

The problem was never your board game night buds, your softball team, or your bond with your sister.
The problem is disappearing to keep the peace.
The problem is people-pleasing until there’s nothing left of you to please.

Reclaiming your time, your passions, and your identity isn’t selfish—it’s how you heal.

And if your wife or girlfriend finds that threatening?
Ask yourself what she’s ever truly sacrificed for you.

👉 Hint: “Sacrificing” a job or career she never wanted so she could stay home and be financially supported by you doesn’t count.

That’s not martyrdom. That’s entitlement.

15/06/2025

Spotted in the wild: Father’s Day daddy-daughter pedicure.

Awwwww!

15/06/2025

Happy Father’s Day!

To all the dads showing up, even when they’re shut out, smeared, or silenced, you matter.

Extra virtual hugs today to the fathers fighting alienation. Your pain is real, and you're not alone.

16/04/2025

What happens when a man books a private therapy session to talk about his abusive marriage… and his borderline wife crashes it?

It stops being therapy—and becomes a full-blown hostage situation.

This follow-up to BPD Ambush breaks down 8 manipulation tactics that borderlines and narcissists use to hijack couples counseling, control the narrative, and isolate their partners from real support.

If you’ve ever left therapy with your partner feeling more gaslit, attacked, or demoralized than helped—this might explain why.

👉 https://tinyurl.com/2xm7dd5v

This article is the follow-up to BPD Ambush: How Borderlines Weaponize Therapy. It’s a real-life story of what happened when Goldie, recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, discove…

02/04/2025

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘨𝘢𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦.
At some point, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 started doing it 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.

That’s how narcissists and borderlines work —
they don’t just lie to you.
They train you to lie to 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧.

To downplay the abuse.
To explain away the chaos.
To blame yourself for “making them” act that way.
To believe you're selfish for wanting to leave.
To convince yourself to stay.

And that’s the final trick:
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.

🎯 𝘐𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦, 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 — 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.

27/03/2025

What happens when a borderline partner hijacks a therapy session meant for their spouse?

Answer: Chaos, manipulation, one very uncomfortable therapist (me), and a whole lot of WTF?

In this real-world case study, I break down how “Goldie” used false abuse allegations, guilt-tripping, performative healing, and a surprise therapy ambush to control the narrative—and her husband.

This isn’t couples counseling. It’s a power play.

👉 Read the full breakdown here: https://tinyurl.com/4nz4cdtk
⚠️ If you’ve ever felt like therapy with your BPD/NPD partner made things worse, not better—this is for you.

Many clients wrongly believe that setting boundaries with a borderline or narcissistic partner will magically fix the relationship. It won’t. Nevertheless, boundaries are essential—I encourage ever…

18/03/2025

Your ex might be an as***le...

If they get off on petty custody games like "accidentally" never returning the kids' clothes, toys, and school or sports gear—until it's outgrown, trashed, or useless—just to waste your time, money, and sanity.

Relatable?

06/03/2025

Narcissists and social media—it’s Scarface, but with mountains of Likes instead of co***ne.

They endlessly chase their next ego bump, snorting lines of validation, and getting high on their own supply—of attention.

Just Say Hell No.