24/09/2018
There it is. Right there in the middle. In all its glory. All the blood, sweat, and tears ending right here. The last bag. Two years, 27 days. We made it. We. Made. It.
There are so many hard decisions we have to make as moms. From before our babies even enter this world, we are making choices for them and their futures. Some moms, like me, are planners and find peace when we make to-do lists of our to-do lists and other moms are the fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants type. I'm jealous of those moms.
I made a plan for baby #3 that I was going to be the best nursing mama on the planet. On demand. I got it. You want it. Here you go, kid. What I have is yours. Anytime. Anyday. Anywhere. Bam.
But then, reality. And nothing about that plan happened.
When my little fella was just two weeks old, at the advice of our pediatrician, I hooked myself up to a milking machine. And for one year, 8 months, and 24 days, I hauled that thing around everywhere I went. I had pump parts and bottles and coolers and ice packs and bottle brushes and special soap and extra pump parts in case something broke and cords and wireless adaptors, and a backup manual just in case. I was basically a dairy cow. And when Memorial Day weekend came and the big kids were almost out of school for the summer, I decided it was time to let it go and focus on them. We had frozen enough milk to make it to two years old. That was my goal. My 3rd or 4th or 5th goal. Because amongst this small, never talked about, rarely supported group of breastfeeding moms who exclusively pump, we survive on goal setting.
And we made it. We made it two years and 27 days. Broken pumps, spilled milk, no dairy, lactation cookies, power pumps, mastitis, wrong flanges, torn membranes, dead batteries, clogged ducts, leaking bottles, loads of coconut oil, freezer stash, no freezer stash, rotating milk problems, maymom adaptors, leaking bags all over the refrigerator shelves, makeshift forgotten parts, against all odds... We made it. And it feels good.
My favorite words of advice that I pass on to all pumping moms: Never ever ever quit on a bad day. It will always get better. You are doing an amazing thing for your baby. It may or may not be part of YOUR plan, but it is part of THE plan. And you're doing it. And you're doing a damn good job.
Moms. We're pretty freakin' amazing. And our kids - they're pretty lucky to have us. Mommin' definitely ain't easy. But we were divinely created with purpose and through that purpose, we can do our very best for our children.
You are loved. You are appreciated. You are tougher than you'll ever know. You are mom. Which is basically a superpower.
