Mind Body Thoughts

05/12/2024

Ugh. Why am I not surprised.

"Former Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries and two others were arrested Tuesday as part of a criminal investigation into the alleged s*x trafficking of more than a dozen victims, according to the FBI and federal prosecutors.

Jeffries; his partner, Matt Smith; and a third man, Jim Jacobson, are accused of operating an international s*x trafficking and prostitution business that recruited young men for parties in the U.S. and abroad, according to a 16-count indictment."



https://abcnews.go.com/US/former-abercrombie-ceo-mike-jeffries-arrested-s*x-trafficking/story?id=115019375

01/12/2022

This is from an exchange I had with a friend about my therapy session today. My therapist is so great. She helps me a lot. Read on through the multiple posts. Sorry for splitting it up, but it’s the only way I could do this.

Therapy session helps. Someone that is there in an unbiased way that can help watch and monitor where I’m at. She is a good listener and keeps helping me see I am making progress. Talking about the fears and low points helps a lot because Jeff can only deal with so much. I can complain and it is ok. Sometimes I just need to vent and that’s ok. We’re talking about how I’m adjusting to the eye issues, so that helps me focus better. I’m on sertraline but not a high dosage. It just helps me come back out of the low moments better. I don’t stay down in those low moments like I was. There’s so much to deal with and none of it is easy

I know that all of this can deteriorate and most likely will from what I understand. The meds hopefully are helping my heart but the echo test in January will show more on that. I just hope the deterioration is a long time away.

We talk about how with not seeing Jeff’s face as much, it makes me feel isolated and disconnected. When I was in the hospital, the fluid and swelling made my body not want to be touched. So it has been tougher physically on our relationship and then the eye stuff just compounds it.

So we talk about a lot and she just helps guide me through things and sometimes it helps to have someone help me see a different perspective. Not necessarily about right or wrong, but looking at things from a different angle.

29/08/2022

Regarding Retinopathy & Severe Macular Edema

Starting to be able to read a little easier now after the last injection on Friday. After the eye injections, I struggle to focus for a little while. Night time helps a little as the daylight brightness makes things much more difficult. After the injections, I end up wearing my sunglasses through the next day even in the house. Any light during that time is difficult

My eyes do get tired trying to read much.

They did say the swelling has decreased whichmis good. My eye prescription isn’t that bad. It is the disease progression that Is making things difficult for me to see. The doctors hope the injections stabilize my eyes.

And to think alll of this happened very quickly.

26/06/2022

I completely endorse this.

23/06/2022

I had my therapy session today. So thankful for my therapist who listens to my stress and problems and worries in life. Who is so understanding and compassionate. It helps so much. At least with her help I’m staying out of the danger zone mentally with these challenges.

It helps just to be able to talk. I’ve got a couple of friends who are there for me and I appreciate them so much. This is not easy physically or mentally to go through. So much stress with it.

The new meds had to be scaled back as my body wasn’t handling them well and my BP was dropping too low while my heart rate was too elevated.

Fluid retention has been an issue and that’s a frustrating balance. There have been so many things that do good then go upside down. I’m carefully watching my diet and everything else

They started me on a new medication just to see if we can get the heart pumping more blood. That’s still the big issue as a result of heart damage and heart failure.

Some days it is too much. Some days I feel isolated and so unable to do much. I get bored. Tired of seeing medical bills come through with no way to pay them. I tell them they have to get in line with everyone else.

Then there are the eye issues (diabetic retinopathy) where most days seeing much is a dream or seeing clearly I should say. Tired of all of this. I’d love to be able to take a break from it but it is there 24 hrs a day. I can’t escape it.

Some have told me to just think positive or tap into my own personal power or do this thing or take something that could put me in an ER.

In time, maybe I’ll accept this more but for now it has upended my life. It p*sses me off. I want my normal self back. I’d return my life but the warranty already ran out.

14/05/2022

One thing I've learned through this medical nightmare is that there are signals we miss in the body. We don't always listen to what the mind sees or feels. When we don't, too many situations get worse than they might have if we would have stopped sooner to listen to the body.

26/04/2022

I try not to get caught up in the noise of the day. At one time I stayed in contact with all of it, but I realized that I was allowing it to silently rob me of peace. There’s enough stress in life without me adding to It unconsciously. for the

20/04/2022

Thank you for the support. I have which means my heart is pumping just 50% of the blood. It leaves me short of breath, tired, exhausted with a high heart attack risk. Asking for help on my medical bills. https://gofund.me/f239ce59

My name is Don Shetterly and I’m drowning in medical debt. I am a person… Don Shetterly needs your support for I'm Drowning In Medical Bills, Please Help Me!

20/04/2022

Please don’t feel obligated but if you can help, it will be much appreciated. If not send hugs and share it forward. https://gofund.me/59719bff

My name is Don Shetterly and I’m drowning in medical debt. I am a person… Don Shetterly needs your support for I'm Drowning In Medical Bills, Please Help Me!

06/03/2022

So many things I thought were true and so many people who I thought cared have all been shattered this past year. Picking up the pieces and keeping the useful ones while discarding the rest. It has been a cleaning out the old moment. Big adjustment but not easy.

23/02/2022

Work to be present and aware of your body. It is not a one time accomplishment but something we must focus on daily. The more we are aware of what is happening, the better we can make choices and changes that support growth and health in our lives.

20/02/2022

Before I went in the hospital these were the symptoms I had. At the time they didn’t alarm me because they came on gradually. However when I look back I can see things differently.

- Thought I was having panic attacks
- could not hardly sleep at night
- having nightmares
- told it was looking like I stopped breathing in my sleep
- very restless at night I was told
- legs noticeably shaking much of the night
- feet were cold
- struggled with mental focus.
- was tired all the time
- depressed
- feet were swollen
- had sores open up on my legs and get large and deep
- out of breath at the slightest movement
- legs swelling
- had the house at 80 degrees and I was shivering
- my sc***um swelled up to the size of a grapefruit and was so painful at the slightest touch
- my genitalia was so swollen I could barely urinate
- I actually wanted to go to the ER which is something I normally would never do.
- I couldn’t lay down or recline without sitting up in terror.
- I could not hardly walk.
- my left leg was so bent and it wouldn’t straighten out
- I was winded trying to do anything and thought it was panic attacks
- was afraid of the water in the shower. Felt like I was suffocating.
- was afraid of the dark at night and felt like I could breathe easier and sleep more when it got light out.
- slept with many lights on

18/02/2022

Today I’m discouraged by this disease/condition or whatever you want to call it. It makes me so tired. I can’t get out and do things and am bored. I miss taking walks out in nature or visiting the ocean. Im struggling with what I can eat and miss foods I love. One of those days

17/02/2022

UPDATE:

Today is the wound care clinic to have my wounds looked at. One is on the leg and healing nicely. The other is from a bed sore and has been more challenging. I told a friend today that I’ll be glad when it’s healed because I’m tired of having bandages put on my butt. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Then today is the Coumadin clinic so I can get my INR test for the blood thinner and see where I am or if meds need to be adjusted.

Some days I think things are progressing and other days it feels very challenging. At least I’ve gone a month out of the hospital. Just feel so limited in what I’m able to do physically and struggle with getting so tired during the day.

I have had a couple of times when my blood pressure really dropped. I will bring that up with the cardiologist next week.

14/02/2022

Happy Valentine’s Day. If you’re on my friends list than you are a special person in my life. I cherish each and every one of you. After the recent medical stuff, life looks so much different to me. I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating love in your way fits you.

13/02/2022

Some days I really get angry at the physical situation I am in, wondering if it will get better and, if so, how much. I’m tired of these struggles in life. I thought I was doing the things I should be to not experience stuff like this. Right now, I’m just frustrated with how much I cannot do. Things that were simple tasks not long ago now exhaust me. I’m tired of struggling to catch my breath after hardly doing anything. If you want to know what frightening is, just have breathing become a big issue every day. It is not fair in life, is what my mind thinks. I know. I’m complaining, but I try not to because many others have it so much worse.

12/02/2022

Some days I can remain more upbeat and positive through these medical conditions I have and other days my cheering section can’t be loud enough. I’m trying but this new normal in life that hit suddenly is a difficult challenge.

09/02/2022

Interesting and informative video on what your doctor doesn’t tell you about diabetes. This is done by a diabetes doctor so I’m not bashing doctors, just opening up the dialogue. https://youtu.be/g9isRl6Ae_0

There are many things doctors will hide from patients willingly or unwillingly, knowingly or unknowingly which eventually affects your diabetes care. I will ...