02/06/2025
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend from back home about how I’m feeling at the moment, life, my illness etc…
And I said to her that I’m not very happy and satisfied with my life right now. And I haven’t been for the past 5 years if I’m truly honest.
Because the depth of my heart isn’t able to express itself fully, and to enjoy life fully, due to the physical limitations of my chronic illness.
I used to be a social butterfly: always out meeting people, dinners and drinks, dancing, traveling, going to events, hosting and teaching through my work, networking…I was in the middle of all things happening. I was out there. I felt alive and inspired. This is my natural state. And I loved it. It’s where I thrive.
I do love and need my quiet days, slow mornings, time alone, structure, routine and early bed nights as well. But in order for that introversion to really nourish me, it needs to be balanced out with fun, lots of laughing, spontaneous adventures, social connection, dancing, joy, extroversion.
And this part of my life hasn’t been happening for a long time.
And I feel that. I feel in every cell of my body that something is missing.
So, I was ‘complaining’ about that a bit to my friend, and then she asked “but Myrthe, when is it enough? When are you just going to be ok with life?”
And I realized in that moment that she wouldn’t get it. She’s living a different life, and doesn’t understand my craving for all things new, different, travel, adventure and always wanting to grow.
And that’s ok. This is what separates me from other people who chose to stay within the system.
I know in my heart what I want. And I cannot ‘un-want’ this.
And no, it’s not ‘too much’. It’s who I am. I don’t want to be ‘ok’ with my life. I want to freakin’ LOVE my life and live it FULLY.
It’s my soul’s calling. And what’s meant for me, will be for me. Maybe not now, because I’m working through a lot. But some day…
If you’re like me, not wanting to settle for ‘ok’, I’d love to hear which part of your life you are not satisfied with? Where are you not fulfilled? Send me a DM with the story and I will 100% send you a reply!