Empathart- Communicating with Compassion - NVC

30/10/2024

🌱 Why I Keep Returning to NVC Foundations While Embracing Messy, Authentic Connection 🌱

As many of you know, NVC has been a core part of my journey for nearly a decade. And even after all this time (and taking the Foundations course three times myself!), I keep finding myself drawn back to its roots whilst I diversify and integrate other ways of being such as Circling and Authentic Relating.

In my latest blog post, I share why these foundations are still so meaningful for me, even as I explore new approaches. It’s about discovering how the NVC model offers both a structured path and a doorway to genuine connection—and why I find it so necessary to also loosen the grip on the “ 4 steps” let real, messy, human connection flow and supporting us to connect to what is really alive.

If you're curious about the power of NVC or looking to reconnect with its basics in a fresh way, take a look! And if you feel called to explore these foundations together, my last course of the year starts on November 13 (see link at the bottom of the blogpost)

Did you know that I took the foundation course in Nonviolent Communication 3 times? In fact I know of a few advanced trainers who sometimes repeat a foundational course every now and again, even after teaching it for 5-10 years. As I consider moving my focus away from teaching the basics of NVC by o...

16/10/2024

This week I have been sitting with the real discomfort of holding very different perspectives from those that are close to me, whilst wanting to stay in connection with them.

With so much polarisation of opinions and perspectives over world events this year , I’ve noticed how external disagreements—especially about politics and global events—have stirred up a lot more extra tension in my own relationships. It's been a real challenge to stay connected when differing opinions seem to drive a wedge between us. I’ve written a blog post exploring how I’m trying to navigate these tough conversations, and how I’m working to stay connected to my loved ones and to myself, even when our views don’t align.

If you can relate with the discomfort that comes with holding such opposing perspectives with your loved ones or partners (relating to any opposing views you may have, not just regarding word events) I hope what I share might support you in finding more understanding and connection.
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INTERMEDIATE COURSE STARTS SOON Authentic and Compassionate Relating Weekend Retreat / Non Residential Level 2- London 2nd+3rd NOV / 10 am-5:30 pm DEPOSIT NOW + PAY LATER NEW ONLINE FOUNDATIONS COURSE Authentic and Compassionate Relating ONLINE / Level 1- 6 x Wednesdays 13th NOV / 19:00 21:30 London...

09/10/2024

Circling in the Present Moment AND Reflecting on Connection, Grief, and Hope :

This week has been a rollercoaster of emotions—grief, love, excitement, and confusion all at once. I’m feeling called to share two things that have been really alive for me:

✨ Circling – I’ve been diving deeper into the meditative practice of Circling, which has brought so much more honesty, connection, and aliveness into my relationships. It’s about being in the present moment with others and discovering what’s hidden within us. If you’re curious about this, check out the podcast episode (link below) I did with Andy Hix, where we explore this in real time.

I’m also weaving Circling with NVC in my upcoming Foundations and Intermediate courses this November. These courses will help you practice being more present and connecting from a heart-cantered place. More info coming soon!

🕊️ Mourning One Year Since October 7th – On Sunday, Janine Shalev and I held a community circle for Jewish people to share their feelings around this anniversary and the last year of horror. It was so powerful to witness people finally feel safe to express their grief and complex emotions. One person said they had cried alone for almost a year, and this was the first time they could cry in person, in community.

In response, we’re offering more workshops to support the Jewish diaspora in navigating this conflict and learning how to share their feelings with others, both inside and outside the community. Our first course for young Jewish adults, Bridging the Divide, starts November 11th. More info to come soon!

If you’re interested in how I’m holding all the different perspectives around the Middle East conflict, you can read my recent blog post about it in my blogpost from last week, links to everything are in my newsletter below.

Sending love to everyone navigating this difficult time. 💔

https://wix.to/UC1G4wJ

01/10/2024

Last night at the NVC Foundations course in London, we were exploring how our emotions can act as little alarms, pointing us toward our deeper needs. Like, when I feel upset because my partner hasn’t responded to something I’ve said, I can pause and listen to that sensation—it's like a notification telling me, “Hey, you need something here.”

When I really listen in, I often find that what I’m longing for is to know that I matter and to know that I am loved and accepted. It’s a need for reassurance. And when I look at situations like my hesitation to share my views or pain about the war in the Middle East (which I have many / and I will share soon), I notice that it’s the fear of imagined rejection that stops me from sharing. Again, what I’m really wanting is reassurance—to know I’m still loved, even if my perspective is different from yours.

I used to judge myself for needing reassurance. I’d think, “Emma, stop being so needy!” But now I see that in judging myself, I was actually rejecting myself so that i could cleverly avoid the pain of asking for reassurance and facing potential “rejection”.

What amazes me—both in my own journey and in the experiences of those who come to these courses—is how powerful it is to stay with that discomfort. Often, our hurting hearts are just pointing us toward core needs that we struggled to meet in childhood. And now, meeting those needs becomes our life’s work—a journey to give ourselves (and others) the experience of being met in the ways we so long for.

If this speaks to you, I’d love for you to join me in exploring this deeper:

Intermediate Weekend Retreat / London: (November 2nd & 3rd) – perfect if you’re ready to dive deeper and refine these skills.
https://www.empathart.com/events-1/authentic-compassionate-living-nvc-intermediate-level-2-3

Foundations Course Online (starting November 13th) – for those who are new to NVC / Authentic and Compassionate Relating or wanting a hands-on, supportive introduction:
https://www.empathart.com/events-1/authentic-compassionate-relating-6-x-wednesdays-pm-nvc-level-1-3

I’d love to explore together how to listen to these emotional alarms and find the magic in how we connect with ourselves and others. Reach out if you’re curious or want more info—would love to have you with us!

27/09/2024

Dear friends,

🍓We are 1 week into the foundations course and I am already super excited about the Intermediate course / weekend retreat that will be gathering in 1 month from now.

🍇I offer this once per year in person and what excites me about it so much is that it is really a place where we can dive into embodying the practices that we have learnt in Foundations.

👉🏽It’s experimental, alive and playing with what is emergent in the room.

👉🏽And we will explore practices that I have found invaluable in order to transform conflict into the magical opportunity for connection that it truly can be.

🥝If you want to join us read more here: 🥝https://www.empathart.com/events-1/authentic-compassionate-living-nvc-intermediate-level-2-3

😎And of course let me know if you want to discuss anything or have any questions.

20/09/2024

What does it really mean to relate? Is there such a thing as true authenticity? Are these just buzzwords we adopt to fit into a model of “realness”?

Maybe part of what’s real is recognizing that all parts of my reality are influenced by stories and ideas I’ve been told—stories that carry the energy of “this is the truth,” “this is how you find what’s really real,”.

Even that statement—“my reality is completely influenced by the stories I’ve been told about life”—is something I’ve been told many times. And I’ve repeated it in my own workshops as I try to facilitate spaces for myself and others to live authentic, raw, and heart-based connection in this world that we live in.

But each word, each concept, idea, phrase, or exercise can so easily become just another thing to "do well." And for what purpose? I imagine that you and I are fuelled by our human thirst to belong, to know that we are loved as we are, to feel more connected, alive and cantered in a meaningful existence somehow.

I keep coming back to the idea that "everything I say or do is an expression of my needs," as it’s understood in Nonviolent Communication. So even if I am looking for realness by trying to be "good" when learning a new way of "undoing" myself, I trust that this desire is coming from the needs that drive my human heart towards that depth of connection that I hope and believe will liberate my soul somehow.

And, I often find myself falling down the rabbit hole of never quite knowing what’s truly mine, what’s yours, and what’s just an adopted thought pattern we are agreeing or disagree upon?. Are we trying to be who we think we’re supposed to be, or are we touching something deeper? And is it even possible to reach that part of ourselves untouched by the stories we’ve inherited—the labyrinth of tales the mind clings to, trying to find a sense of home, belonging, and meaning by choosing a pathway that feels as close to "reality" as we can get?

I personally enjoy asking myself these questions, allowing my mind and body to be confused and inspired and hopeless and trusting all at once.

IF you enjoy this too and would like to join me in an exploration of deconstructing the patterns of the mind and seeing how we feel about that together..

There are a few more spaces available for my Foundations Course in Authentic and Compassionate Relating - London - Starting on Monday 23rd.

More info: https://www.empathart.com/events

Send me a msg if you have any questions or would like to discuss it to see if this is for you.

15/09/2024

Hey dears,

I have been feeling a lot of confusion the past months... I feel like something big is shifting in me .. and when big shift come it feels so feckin uncomfortable.. I can imagine you can relate?

It's like being premenstrual all the time!
Moments of clarity, then confusion.. my skin feels raw.. I feel like I am learning something new and letting go of everything I once thought I knew..

I'm trusting this process as I find new perspectives and ways of being in relationship to my work, the meaning of truly being alive, how to be in relationship, what it means to be real and honest .. how do I really relate to compassion.. Creating and sustaining community.. duality and nonduality.. and so much more..

Somehow and it feels scary and real and beautiful and weird and uncomfortable all at the same time.

So It's no wonder that I judge myself to not be making much sense.

And i also judge this to be a truly fertile place for me to be right now..

So I wrote a messy blogpost to capture the moment and allow myself to be seen in the unknown. In case you want to read:

https://www.empathart.com/post/what-i-am-learning-about-not-having-the-answers

04/09/2024

Ok so this post is one that perhaps a past version of me would write.. and then delete and then write again and then maybe / probably never post it.. because I am so afraid of being judged as "not knowing what I am talking about" (the UK riots = see below)

So what makes it easier and more possible this time is that I truly accept that judgment and want to share my thoughts anyway.. because I do believe that my imperfect thoughts hold value that I want to share..

I have been thinking a lot recently about just how huge of an impact the language that we choose in order to express what is important to us, can hugely impact the course of division or connection between people..

When I went on marches earlier this year I found the chants that were calling for peace, were using a language of violence in order to do so.

The tragedy of that has yet again been seen in the recent UK riots and counter protests = where both sides are using a language of violence only creating more and more of the same..

Myself and Andy Hix, decided to explore this topic in a podcast episode = if you listen we would LOVE your honest feedback.. we welcome disagreements and opinions that go against what we say, so please don't be shy.

Listen on Youtube / Spotify / Apple podcasts ..:

https://shoutout.wix.com/so/55P6yiK9j?languageTag=en

29/08/2024

So, I have not so deliberately happened to take a few months away from Social Media..

It has been exactly what my body, heart and soul needed.. to dive into the wilderness, both physically and metaphorically.. and just be connected to life in the present moment, instead of looking for connection here online.

It's a tricky one to balance - being on SM / or not.. also because = let's be honest, I work in the world of communication and human connection, and well I have not yet found a way to telepathically share my work and support people to come together and connect in community..
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So maybe there has been some kind of weird line between wanting to share info and ideas with you.. and invite you to the things that I offer.. whilst also wanting to only do so it it feels natural, authentic and in flow for me..

I'm still working out how to balance these desires and I am not sure if I will truly ever figure it out. (other coaches and trainers feel similar?)

Anyway here are some photos from the incredibly beautiful summer full of learning, community, nature and facilitating, that I have been enjoying. If you want o read about that you can have a peek at my newsletter:

https://shoutout.wix.com/so/99P6TeSR6?languageTag=en&cid=3611d6ff-7d63-4842-a15d-ecff14360e08

Otherwise, I hope to see some of you you for some real connection on a dance floor, in a meeting room or online somewhere soon..

And as a way to come back in connect with those of you that are reading this:

Tell me 1 thing that your feeling alive with right now in the comments?

11/07/2024

Last weekend I really felt like I had voluntarily stepped into a washing machine and allowed it to tumble me through the undulating experience of human emotions.. in a group Circling workshop..

And it felt REALLY good..

Even though somehow the image of a washing machine seems chaotic, overwhelming and unstable..

Which it was.. Definitely in many moments..

I felt so alive, present, grateful and connected to REALNESS..

That the experience felt almost transcendental.. in that I felt myself moving through all these layers of aliveness and resistance in relating with myself and others, so that I experienced what I often feel in deep meditative states of awareness.

Something I find so hard to put into words.. And so in this moment i will leave that to your imagination.. Or not..

Another part I am left with though, was this powerful line of energy through the centre of my body.. The power of vulnerability.. POW .. this energy felt so beautifully YANG, strong and yet completely steeped in vulnerability.

The 2 energies infused with one another..

And so I decided to write a blogpost about those 2 essences.. The power of vulnerability..

In case you want to read it :)

https://www.empathart.com/post/the-power-courage-it-takes-to-be-vulnerable

https://shoutout.wix.com/so/3fP2Sq44y?languageTag=en&cid=3611d6ff-7d63-4842-a15d-ecff14360e08

( Image by Gerry McCulloch)

03/07/2024

Community.. Why is community so important to me?

Aahhhh, this word has been ringing in my brain and heart repeatedly for the last few months (actually years, but more so recently).

I have longed for a deep sense of community in my life for years, and now, I am truly feeling that reality taking shape here in London.

Last weekend, at the London NVC Community Day, I saw people’s faces and bodies relax into being together. Voices shared from the heart, people stood for what was important to them, and everyone naturally gave from the heart—whether it was through making food, cleaning up, welcoming others, sharing themselves, hanging out in the crafts space, or listening deeply.

As I move into the summer with so many community moments ahead to look forward to, I also reflect on that deep, sweet desire that has been speaking up so loudly recently. Again (certainly not for the first time)...

Emma, how would it be to live this way every day? To live in a community where support, cuddles, connection, honesty, dancing, and realness are present every day? Where we live life together...

Aaaahhhhh, my mind responds with excitement and sheer panic.

Yet, these conversations are happening now.

Because although living in community has its challenges, so does living within the social structures created for us. I want to create a structure that sustains life and nourishes that deep wish for inspiration, connection, and real change through the act of living.

That act of living in community is beautifully experienced in moments like last Saturday when life slows down into the present moment, and we truly live together in this space.

I want to feel inspired by how you live community here in London (and beyond...).

Share with us below—what does community look like for you in this moment?

And watch this space for more Community Days like this to come...

To read about this in my newsletter + to see which upcoming Community experiences you can join in on:

https://shoutout.wix.com/so/7eP1v2ui0?languageTag=en&cid=3611d6ff-7d63-4842-a15d-ecff14360e08

25/06/2024

Feeling a little pi**ed off anyone?

If you are angry about anything - share it in the comments! I want to hear it! I want to see and feel what you stand for and care about.. because I am not up for living with the stories I have internalised about anger..

That it is either dangerous.. OR the only way to express my boundaries..

Both are limiting to me.. I know this emotion comes from passion, it comes from caring deeply about something vulnerable and important to me.. and I love it when it can be expressed, raw and beautiful in a way that allows that protection to be honoured rather than judged for "being too much"

Anyway I have written a blogpost about it with some of my thoughts, and recorded an episode with my friend Andy Hix.

Where we talk about the hidden gifts of anger..

So if this topic pricks your ears or your stomach - have a listen or a read and let me know your thoughts- how do you relate to anger??

READ: https://shoutout.wix.com/so/8bP1F28lc?languageTag=en
WATCH: https://youtu.be/Ad9twLoq7EY?si=zrCsbuqVYaileSze
LISTEN: https://open.spotify.com/show/08lmI226oqhZ6g418mWeNd?si=840a8f20cea14b3e

In this episode, Emma and Andy explore the complex emotion of anger and how it can impact relationships for worse OR for better. They emphasize the importanc...