Peaceful Child Essentials

04/01/2025

This book didn't just change how I think about raising children—it challenged me to rethink the very foundation of what it means to nurture the next generation. Let me share the profound lessons that have me looking at my own relationships in a whole new light.

1. The key to raising healthy, resilient kids isn't discipline—it's attachment. I used to think that strict rules and consequences were the path to "good" behavior. But Neufeld shows how true maturity blossoms from feeling deeply connected, not just following orders. It's a paradigm shift that's revolutionizing how I parent.

2. Peer orientation is the silent epidemic undermining parent-child bonds. I had no idea how rapidly our culture is shifting childhood away from the sanctuary of family and toward the competing influence of the peer group. This book helped me see how this weakens our children's inner foundation—and what I can do to strengthen it.

3. The courage to be unpopular is the greatest gift we can give our kids. In a world that worships cool, conformity, and the validation of the crowd, Neufeld argues that the true mark of secure parenting is the willingness to be misunderstood. This resonates deeply as I learn to prioritize my children's needs over surface-level approval.

4. Developmentally appropriate independence comes from a place of trust, not fear. I used to push my kids to "grow up" faster, thinking it would make them stronger. But this book showed me how premature independence can actually hinder a child's natural progression. Now I'm focusing on building that solid foundation of safety and security first.

5. Playfulness is not just fun—it's a portal to deeper connection. As our lives get busier, it's easy to lose sight of the pure joy of just being together. Neufeld reminded me that laughter, silliness, and unstructured time are not luxuries—they're essential nutrients for the parent-child bond.

6. Our kids don't need more stimulation—they need more meaning. In an age of constant digital input and overscheduled lives, this book urged me to create space for what truly matters: quality time, authentic conversations, and a sense of belonging. I'm learning to say no to the noise and yes to the nourishing.

7. The greatest gift we can give our children is our presence, not our presents. I used to get so caught up in providing the latest and greatest toys, activities, and experiences. But Neufeld taught me that true fulfillment comes not from material things, but from feeling seen, heard, and held by the people who matter most.

As I reflect on these lessons, I'm in awe of how this book has reframed my entire understanding of parenting. It's not just about managing behavior or hitting milestones—it's about building the kind of trust, respect, and genuine connection that allows our children to blossom into their fullest selves.

To any parents feeling lost, overwhelmed, or disillusioned: this book may just be the lifeline you need. It certainly was for me. The path it's laid out is not easy, but I believe it's the truest road to raising healthy, happy kids.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/40gg0mM

You can ENJOY the AUDIOBOOK When you register for Audible Membership Trial using the same link above

14/04/2023

Teaching a child how to help others. So cute!

23/03/2023

03/12/2022

Are you currently navigating through the mood swings, blame-throwing, and disrespectful behaviors and attitudes of your teenagers and “millennials”? You’re not alone! Did you know that most teenagers and young adults put the majority of the blame for “things not working out in their lives” on their mothers? This includes their eating disorders, self-harming behaviors, identity crisis, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, failed relationships, and any disorder.

You may be saying, “But I thought I did everything right! I was a good mom! Why is everything being blamed on me?”

Chances are that you DID do most things right, according to the knowledge you had at the time. Most likely, you really were a good mom, who tried her best to raise her children in this complex world.

If you’re scratching your head and wondering what went wrong and what can be done now, take a listen to this therapist.

‎Show The Virtual Couch, Ep Attention ALL Parents! Part 2 - Navigating the "Family System," the Role of "Presence and Radiance" and You Really Are Trying Your Best! - Oct 19, 2022

15/06/2022

20/09/2021

There are so many things our children are dealing with. Some of our children are buried with adult situations and trauma. Their energy is consumed by the need to cope and survive. Their authentic gifts and abilities are sometimes unseen because of the static stress creates in their mind body system.

11/08/2021

"I am 2. I am not terrible…I am frustrated. I am nervous, stressed out, overwhelmed, and confused. I need a hug."

“I am 2. I am not terrible…I am frustrated. I am nervous, stressed out, overwhelmed, and confused. I need a hug.”

From the diary of a 2-year-old:

Today I woke up and wanted to get dressed by myself but was told “No, we don’t have time, let me do it.”

This made me sad.

I wanted to feed myself for breakfast but was told,
“No, you’re too messy, let me do it for you.”

This made me feel frustrated.

I wanted to walk to the car and get in on my own but was told, “No, we need to get going, we don’t have time. Let me do it.”

This made me cry.

I wanted to get out of the car on my own but was told “No, we don’t have time, let me do it.”

This made me want to run away.

Later I wanted to play with blocks but was told “no, not like that, like this…”

I decided I didn’t want to play with blocks anymore. I wanted to play with a doll that someone else had, so I took it. I was told “No, don’t do that! You have to share.”

I’m not sure what I did, but it made me sad. So I cried. I wanted a hug but was told “No, you’re fine, go play”.

I’m being told it’s time to pick up. I know this because someone keeps saying, “Go pick up your toys.”

I am not sure what to do, I am waiting for someone to show me.

“What are you doing? Why are you just standing there? Pick up your toys, now!”

I was not allowed to dress myself or move my own body to get to where I needed to go, but now I am being asked to pick things up.

I’m not sure what to do. Is someone supposed to show me how to do this? Where do I start? Where do these things go? I am hearing a lot of words but I do not understand what is being asked of me. I am scared and do not move.

I lay down on the floor and cry.

When it was time to eat I wanted to get my own food but was told “no, you’re too little. Let me do it.”

This made me feel small. I tried to eat the food in front of me but I did not put it there and someone keeps saying “Here, try this, eat this…” and putting things in my face.

I didn’t want to eat anymore. This made me want to throw things and cry.

I can’t get down from the table because no one will let me…because I’m too small and I can’t. They keep saying I have to take a bite. This makes me cry more. I’m hungry and frustrated and sad. I’m tired and I need someone to hold me. I do not feel safe or in control. This makes me scared. I cry even more.

I am 2. No one will let me dress myself, no one will let me move my own body where it needs to go, no one will let me attend to my own needs.

However, I am expected to know how to share, “listen”, or “wait a minute”. I am expected to know what to say and how to act or handle my emotions. I am expected to sit still or know that if I throw something it might break….But, I do NOT know these things.

I am not allowed to practice my skills of walking, pushing, pulling, zipping, buttoning, pouring, serving, climbing, running, throwing or doing things that I know I can do. Things that interest me and make me curious, these are the things I am NOT allowed to do.

I am 2. I am not terrible…I am frustrated. I am nervous, stressed out, overwhelmed, and confused. I need a hug.

*edited to add: I have finally identified the author! Thank you, Dejah Roman for your POWERFUL words*

22/09/2020

We are drowning...
You’re so awesome! 😂

16/09/2020

When parents make the gap wider. 😂

04/09/2020

Don’t show this to your kids. 😂

22/08/2020

I might have had this same moment.