21/08/2025
I posted a rant in my personal page. Elise added a comment I wish every member of society would read. Particularly, those who direct cancer support monies.
Here are Elise's words. Elise is an HNC treatment survivor. She's a sweetheart of a person and a talented photographer.
I’m not diminishing any other cancer as any cancer diagnosis has an effect on a person and their loved ones.
The life of a person with cancer of any sort is not easy after treatment, and I wouldn’t want anyone to have to hear ‘you have cancer’. But…
To put no support in place for people who have a diagnosis of a cancer that has such a profound effect on a person is morally wrong.
Unfortunately, for some forsaken reason we live in a society that puts so much weight on a persons looks rather than their ability. That puts HNC people at a bigger disadvantage after treatment. They get the roughest end of the stick as there is no way to hide the changes - be it scars or the lasting effects and alteration to what is ‘normal’ - why should they be cast aside by society and charities? Is it other people’s vanity? Is it ‘to difficult’ for people to comprehend that HNC has the potential to leave a person not being able breath, drink or eat without aides or the fear of complications?
Bowel, prostate, lung, cervical, breast cancer or a brain tumour (to name just a few) - no one will know unless you show them the scars from surgery (assuming surgery was performed). With the likes of breast cancer you can cover up the effects - no breasts - if you want you can put a bra on with implants in them. Have scars from reconstruction surgery - unless you go around topless no one will know.
Yet for many people with HNC it’s hard to cover up scars to you neck and face, changes to the shape and structure of your face, maybe the loss of all or part of your tongue, loss of teeth, loss of voice. All of which lead to foreign objects being attached to recreate a part of their face, recreate their voice and/or maintain life be it in the mouth, neck or abdomen (if you’re unable to chew/swallow).
Basic human needs like getting air into your lungs, having a voice so you can be heard, getting nutrition and fluid in to the body - are things that should be the top priority for all.
Charities set up to provide support for people who have been told they have cancer are OK at giving basic advice. But…there is a lack of understanding or willingness to understand the longer term impact for HNC people. With the exception of bowel cancer, I don’t think there are such levels of continued risk or complexity after surgery that lasts for the rest of a persons life as there is with HNC.
Some people actively change their course of action to avoid you due to your ‘deformity’, as if they’re going to catch ‘whatever you have’.
Some people look at you differently, most can hide it well, but there is always the one person who recoils before they realise they recoiled in disgust when they see you or when you try to speak for yourself/add your opinion, go for job interview etc, because you look and speak differently, with difficulty.
You’re stared at when you try to eat or drink in public as you have to do it differently/very slowly ‘cos the natural ability/capability is no longer there, or worse, you’re having to inject the food/liquid through a tube as it’s not possible to use your mouth.
No matter which cancer a person has, the changes are a part of their life story, their truth, their new identity. The diagnosis doesn’t take away from their abilities to function as a human being, to contribute to society, to be a valued member of the human race with knowledge and experience. They should have the same rights to be a part of the human community as they had before their diagnosis.
That means charities set up to support people who have a cancer diagnosis need to set aside their prejudices, check lists and politics and help in any way they can to ensure that people can have their basic human needs - air, fluids and nutrition so they can continue to be a valued member of society.
