16/03/2024
this winter I have been a chrysalis.
i have been wrapped in the gooey arms of uncertaintly and held tight by the inveitability of change.
i have moved through deep fear, pain, worry, grief. and i have let them pour into the furthest corners of my being.
for me, the eyes feel like a gateway to the external world. one of our strongest tools to experience the physical. the famous quote by the author of Les Mis wrote ‘to see is to devour’. -and I love that. the quote ‘a feast for the eyes’ comes to mind.
and when the privilege of sight is compromised, threatened, taken away... the only fathomable action through it, is to go into it. and inwards i have gone.
this journey has gifted me so much.
i have learnt the language of my body.
i have learnt to listen to its whispers.
the days on end waking up with no ability to see past the end of my nose forced me into a suffocating kind of stillness.
the commitments i have made to myself on the darkest of nights upon this journey have saved me from sinking.
there is change in the air.
and it is simple really.
nothing changes if nothing changes.
to be embodied in my commitments to myself is the real medicine of these lessons.
and wow, how these lessons have shone a lamp on the wildness of being in this body. a woman’s body.
a body that expands dimensions. that feels the extremities of it all. the ecstasy. the grief. the or****ic bliss. the myriad of possibilities that my body could experience in this lifetime.
and I am in awe.
I am in awe of women.
I am in awe of me.
… spring is afoot.
the change feels palpable.
a newness in me that feels inexplicably profound.
