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The Doula Club

Doula & Doula Matcher Hypnobirthing & Antenatal Classes, Pregnancy & Postnatal Yoga, Couples Yoga for Birth & Doula, North & East London

13/02/2026

One of the most common things birth partners tell me they’re most worried about? Seeing the woman they love in pain and not knowing what to do. It’s also the thing they tell me in our postnatal sessions that they struggled with the most.
It’s totally normal. You love this person. Watching them in that much intensity goes against every instinct you have to protect them.
But, in labour, you can’t protect her from the pain. And you don’t need to.

You do need to understand what is happening. Because this pain? It has a purpose! Every contraction is doing something.
And her body is producing its own pain relief that builds as labour progresses.
So, what you CAN protect is her nervous system. Your calm breath slows hers. Your steady hands tell her body she’s safe. Your quiet presence keeps the oxytocin flowing and the adrenaline at bay. And THIS is what helps with the pain.
The partners who feel most helpless are usually the ones trying to fix something that can’t. The ones who feel most useful? They’re the ones who learned to be still and protect the bubble.
Breathe slow. Firm touch firm. Eye contact. Stay close. That is everything.

Save this and share it with your birth partner.

11/02/2026

I definitely recommend sharing this post with your partner before the big day.

When labour gets really intense, a lot of partners feel helpless. They want to do something, try and “fix” the situation.

But the most powerful thing you can do? almost nothing.

Your calm is her calm. Your breath regulates her breath. Your steady hands tell her nervous system she’s safe.

When she feels safe, her body produces the oxytocin that keeps labour progressing and the endorphins that help her manage the intensity.

Every unnecessary question, every bright light, every casual interruption pulls her out of that state and into her thinking brain - the exact opposite of where she needs to be.

You just need to remember four things: breathe slow, touch firm, talk less, protect the space.

That’s team work. That’s what she actually needs from you in that room.

Save this for when you need it. Share it with your partner.

09/02/2026

“Stop pushing - you’re not ready.”

If you’ve been in labour and felt that overwhelming, involuntary urge to bear down, you’ll know the truth: you cannot stop it. It’s like trying not to blink. Not to sneeze.

Your body is doing something powerful and purposeful - and being told to fight it is one of the most disempowering things that can happen in a birth room.

Here’s what the evidence actually says:

Between 20-40% of women experience an early urge to push before full dilation (Borrelli et al. 2013; Downe et al. 2008). It’s common. And no study has demonstrated that following your body’s instinctive pushing urge causes harm. Both concluded it’s a normal physiological variation when maternal and fetal conditions are good.

The urge to push isn’t triggered by how dilated you are. It’s driven by your baby’s descent - when the head applies pressure to the nerves in the pelvic floor and vaginal tissues (Roberts et al. 1987). Dilation, descent and rotation all happen at different rates. They don’t follow a neat, linear script. You can be fully dilated with no urge to push, or pushing before full dilation.

Dr Rachel Reed - midwife and researcher - explains that when a baby is in an occipito-posterior (back-to-back) position, the early pushing urge may actually help rotate baby into a better position. The pressure is purposeful.

But what typically happens? The woman is told to stop. She can’t. She’s offered an epidural to override the reflex. Movement decreases. Baby is less likely to rotate. And the cascade of intervention begins.

No study has ever demonstrated that following your body’s instinctive pushing urge causes cervical damage.

Your body grew this baby from two cells. It built a placenta, and doubled your blood volume - all without a single conscious instruction from you. Trust it.

If someone tells you to stop pushing because “you’re not ready” - ask why. Ask for the evidence. And know that your instincts are not the problem.

Save this for your birth prep. Share it with your birth partner

07/02/2026

Most of what scares people in labour isn’t actually a problem. It’s progress.

The stopping and starting. The shaking. The vomiting. The moment you think you can’t do it anymore. These aren’t red flags, they’re some of the most normal, healthy signs that your body is deep in the work of bringing your baby here.

But it’s not something most women are prepared for. So when it happens, you might panic. You think something’s wrong.

This post is for the woman in labour who needs to hear “this is normal” And it’s for the partner standing next to them who needs to know that the scariest-looking moments are often the ones where everything is going right.

🔖 Save for labour 📩 Send to your birth partner. Send it to someone who’s about to have a baby.

And if you want to actually understand what’s happening in your body - not just survive it but feel prepared for it - that’s exactly what my course, Readybirthgo.com is designed for.

05/02/2026

Not all delays are equal.

60 seconds isn’t enough.

Placental transfusion takes minutes - sometimes 20+.

This blood isn’t a bonus – it’s vital.

It carries oxygen, iron, stem cells, white blood cells, and Vitamin K.

It completes your baby’s blood volume.

And it takes time.

So next time you hear “we’ll delay for a minute,” say:

“We’d like optimal cord clamping - until it’s white, floppy and not pulsing.”

Tip: Feel it yourself. Like a pulse in your neck – you’ll know when it’s stopped.

Watch the demo – 3 cords, 1 clear message:

Wait for white.

03/02/2026

Birth partners, your job in labour doesn’t start when you walk through the hospital doors or when the midwife turns up at home. It starts now.

The best birth partners aren’t necessarily the ones who’ve read every book or watched every YouTube video. They’re the ones who’ve actually sat down and asked her what she actually needs.

Because here’s the thing, what calms one person down will annoy the hell out of another one. The phrase that reassures your mate’s partner might make yours want to scream. There’s no universal script. There’s only what works for her.

And she knows. She already knows what makes her feel safe, what stresses her out, what words help and which ones don’t. She just might not have been asked yet.

So ask. Tonight. Over dinner. On a walk. In the car.

It doesn’t need to be a big deal, it just needs to happen before you’re standing in the birth space feeling a little lost, a bit helpless, and wishing you’d had the conversation sooner.

Save this. Send it to your partner. Have the chat this week.

And if you want the full guide to being the birth partner she actually needs, my course - Ready Birth Go - covers all of it. Link in bio.

02/02/2026

Whatever works!

You gotta try all the tricks!

Inhale the good s**t, exhale the bull 💩

01/02/2026

You don’t need a spreadsheet of breathing techniques.

You need one breath you’ll actually remember.
Inhale for 4. Exhale for more.

That’s it. It works because it’s simple. You’ll use it in early labour, transition, pushing… even feeding your baby at 3am.

Start practising it now. In the car. In the bath. While waiting for the kettle.

🧠 It moves you out of your thinking brain (neocortex) and into your birthing body.

🧍🏽‍♂️ And get your partner to learn it too - you’ll mirror their rhythm when you’re in it.

Save this. Breathe with it. Share it.

31/01/2026

My incredible client gave birth by caesarean this week and let me share this photo.

Optimal cord clamping. Immediate, uninterrupted skin to skin. Lotus birth. Partner cut the cord. All checks done with her baby on her chest.

She described it as “magical”. She felt heard, respected, and that she had autonomy.

It didn’t happen by accident. It happened because she knew what was possible, what she wanted, and she asked for it. She had a team who listened to her.

Too often, women are told this isn’t possible.

I know it can be more tricky in a caesarean that isn’t an elective, but I am seeing it more and more.

The more we have this conversation, the more women and their partners know what is possible, AND the more doctors see it done - makes it much more likely.

A gentle caesarean birth shouldn’t be rare. It should be the standard.

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