
07/08/2025
Hey guys ♡
I hope that you are doing well!
I managed to make it through appointments with 4 different specialists of mine throughout the latter part of July. Doctors' appointments used to be such a breeze for me, but in recent years I find myself extremely anxious prior to them, to the point where I have trouble sleeping sometimes 2 to 3 days prior. The thought of going near any medical facility causes me a deep sense of fear.
I think the reason in which going to these appointments trigger me so greatly is really a two-fold one; on one hand, I am scared that there will be some kind of bad news pertaining to my health while at them. These past couple of years I begun to live for me again, and from a mental and emotional standpoint, I have become very much so invested in being (and staying) alive. Secondly, I definitely still have issues deriving from my medical post-traumatic stress disorder. Being in and out of the hospital so frequently for 20 years has undoubtedly taken a momentous negative toll on my mental health.. I didn't realize just how badly it did until 2024, when I had a full-year reprive from being hospitalization free and had more time than ever to reflect upon my grueling past.
I should also note that I get incredibly fearful for virtual visits as well, but those are less intense in terms of overt symptoms such as shaking and sweating.
I do have some good news to share. The stocking distributor I have been working with has gifted me a free knee-high compression stocking! I am so incredibly thankful to him, as I need one now more than ever before!
Some may remember that last year, I also wrote about being gifted a couple of free (full leg-lenth) stockings in exchange for letting a company use images of my anatomy for advocacy purposes. The ones they gifted me were full-leg length ones. While I am so appreciative that they did that, the stockings ended up being a horrible fit and just not feasible for everyday life. Aside from the fact that they dug into my waist and were just way too tight,
they took far too long to get on, which was not conducive to busier days..
I am excited to finally have my hands on a knee- high one. We are still going to continue to fight and get the remaining stockings I need covered by insurance. At current, we are in the midst of doing an appeal to the insurance company.
The knee-high one came at the perfect time, however, as my thrombophlebitis has been acting up a lot and has become an indeniable source of some of my day to day chronic pain. I met with my pain management doctor (who I could not respect nor be any more grateful for) toward the end of July; given how much day to day pain medications I am already on, we agreed to leave the medicinal routine as it is right now. He told me that icing it, along with elevating and wearing a compression, would help to negate some of the pain's intensity.
The thrombophlebitis is located on my left KTS calf area, so the stocking will wrap around the area perfectly!
I am utterly exhausted at the moment, so I am going to head to bed shortly. I am sorry that this was such a boring catch-up post. I do currently have a lot of emotions swirling around inside of me, especially in regards to my upcoming operations and just where I am at with life in general right now; I am going to to try and tap into those feelings more in my next post.
Thank you guys for taking time out of your own precious lives in order to follow some of mine. It continues to mean such a great deal to me. ♡
Below are a couple of pictures from last weekend. One is with my younger sister, and the other one is with my beautiful youngest niece Madeleine ♡
Sending love,
Ari