Ellie Ramsby PhD

30/04/2025

Growth doesn’t erase trauma.�
But it reminds us that even through fracture,�something new can take root 🌱💜

23/04/2025

Pregnancy loss in any form is a tender space, and can carry many layers. Whether through miscarriage or abortion, the grief that follows can be complex.

Some losses are unexpected.
Some are chosen.
But all of them can carry meaning, emotion, and a sense of absence.

The term and common ideas surrounding miscarriage often medicalise and normalise a loss that can be excruciatingly painful, leaving the grieving mother feeling "fraudulent" when referring to the loss of their baby and not a miscarriage.

But it is still a loss:
of a wish, a dream, and the imagined future that was starting to take shape.

When abortion is part of the story, grief can feel disenfranchised —
pushed aside by shame, silence, or the idea that you shouldn’t be sad if it was your choice.

But the reasons for ending a pregnancy are often complex.
Sometimes the decision is made with clarity and relief.
Other times, it’s shaped by pressure, fear, or circumstances outside our control.

Whatever the reason, it’s still a loss —
and grief can be part of that experience too.

Making a decision, especially one that’s deeply personal and not always easy,
doesn’t mean you forfeit the right to feel sorrow.
These realities can exist side by side.

Grief can be about what happened — and it can also be about what it meant. You don’t need to justify why you grieve.
By embracing it as part of your story, you create space for greater acceptance and recognition that what you’ve experienced matters
and that you’re not alone in your pain.

20/04/2025

Being seen — truly seen — in moments of despair is not the same as being noticed.

It’s not about visibility or the kind of attention we might receive through roles, accomplishments, or an online presence.
Those forms of being seen have their place and can be meaningful in their own ways.

But the type of being seen I’m thinking about is something different.
It’s quieter, closer, and often unexpected.

It happens in real life — in the presence of another person who, without trying too hard, reflects something back to us that feels true and of the moment.

When we’re grieving or carrying trauma, loneliness often arises from feeling unrecognised.

Even when people offer kind compliments or encouragement, we can still feel untouched. Such support can be offered sincerely, but if it doesn’t reach the part of us that feels unseen, it can fall flat.

I’ve come to notice that certain moments of recognition carry a quiet significance.They don’t need to be grand.

Some of the moments I remember most — where I’ve truly felt seen — were fleeting: a look, a pause, a brief sentence that landed effortlessly.
And yet, they stayed with me and settled something inside.
They didn’t resolve anything, but they helped me feel less alone in my struggle.

Rizq & Target (2008) write about how being seen by another can support our capacity to tolerate ourselves — just as we are in that moment.

And that, to me, is what makes the difference.

Sometimes, what we need is not to be seen more, but to be seen differently, so that being with ourselves feels slightly easier to handle.

17/04/2025

Some feelings of loss don’t come in words.
They live in the body —
in the curves of breath,
the ache in the chest,
the heaviness that returns, quietly and without warning.

This image, as a metaphor for grief, holds that for me.

What we carry isn’t always visible to others.
But it’s there —
layered, quiet, and real.

Sometimes, simply pausing to notice it within ourselves
is an act of care.

14/04/2025

Emotional labour is a term coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild in 1983 in her book The Managed Heart.

It describes managing emotions to support or care for others — often quietly and without recognition.

But the term also applies to unseen work in personal life and often shows up in motherhood.

It’s the small, ongoing things:
keeping track of what everyone needs,
organising and remembering appointments
soothing a child while managing your own stress.

It’s about holding space for others —
even while carrying something heavy yourself: a struggle, a sadness, a quiet overwhelm. Yet, you still show up, keep things moving, and remember.

This work often remains invisible because it is expected or taken for granted, and mental and emotional labour is less visible than physical or task-based work.

Being aware of emotional labour means starting to name it.
It means asking:
Who is doing the holding? And how can we make space for more shared responsibility?

10/04/2025

Last weekend, I joined my friend, colleague, and teacher for her Restorative Yoga teacher training.

In today’s fast-paced world, restorative yoga feels like a quiet act of resistance.

In Anna's teaching and book, she writes of the breath as a teacher and friend, which stayed with me.

The breath is always there. Just noticing it can tell us so much;
about how we’re feeling right now,
and what we might need.

In moments of grief or difficulty, this small act of noticing our breath
can help us stay with ourselves.

And sometimes, when we are able to soften whatever is gripping the breath in our chest, the feelings beneath can begin to rise — and finally reach us.

05/04/2025

A moment. A pause.

Some space of silence —
to go within,
to take a breath,
to stretch open.

Maybe then,
we soften a little.

Maybe we see the world
with fresh eyes again —
less tension,
less cynicism,
a little more ease
in our body.

A small return
to ourselves.

And then we continue.

🧘‍♀️ Join my online yoga class on Wednesdays at 11:15-11:45 UK time. Link in bio. x

02/04/2025

Grief is a personal experience with many facets and meanings.
However, in Western cultures, it is often reduced to a clinical checklist of symptoms — a framework that provides only a limited perspective on grief, and which often pathologises a normal human experience.

This has become even more visible with the introduction of Prolonged Grief Disorder in the DSM-V and ICD-11 a few years ago.

While symptom-based descriptions might offer structure for some, they often fall short of capturing the bigger picture of what a grieving person is going through.

It’s a diagnosis that can remove context and personal meaning — and takes little account of cultural differences in how grief is experienced or expressed.

That’s why I believe we need different ways to talk about grief —
not just through symptoms,
but through metaphors that bring our experiences to life with imagery.

Metaphors can provide a richer, more nuanced understanding of grief and help individuals express themselves in ways that feel more aligned with their lived experience.

✨ ✨ I’ll be sharing some of these metaphors in future posts

01/04/2025

Hi everyone! Here is a direct link to sign up for my online Wednesday class at Yogobe. I hope to see some familiar faces there from time to time

Spana in LIVE-sessionen Lunchtime Yoga: Breathe, Move, Relax med Eleonora Ramsby Herrera - boka din plats nu eller utforska andra live-sessioner på yogobe.com/live

31/03/2025

Many people know me through yoga, and although I put a halt to my teaching career during the pandemic, it has remained a significant part of my personal life.

“I need to do other things in my life now” — that was the thought that led me to stop teaching.
It opened up another world of learning and exploration, and now, my life looks very different from what it used to.
I’m glad I took that step out.
But now, I’m also keen to step back in.

Starting this Wednesday, April 2nd, I’ll teach a gentle weekly online yoga class from 11:15 to 11:45 AM (UK time) in collaboration with .

I’ve spent the last few years reflecting on what yoga means to me and how I would want my teaching to take shape if I chose to return.

In a world filled with information overload, I feel compelled to return to the basics.
So, my aim now is to keep things simple.

This is an invitation to reconnect — with me, and with the kind of community that yoga can create.

I’m looking forward to practising with you again.

(Register for class via my website — link in bio).

30/03/2025

A brief evening reading about my approach to grief studies. If you have any questions or want to share your own thoughts/recommendations then please comment below 👇🏽 🙏🏾❤️