07/16/2024
Hello my dears, I hope this post finds you enjoying these long days. Iâve missed you all tremendously and have been wanting to reach out but life had other ideas in mind for me. I had originally planned this time with my dad to help him heal while also taking time for myself to figure out my next venture, but little did I know I would be doing a lot of healing myself.
It all started with the realization that pops was going to need a lot more care than I had originally understood. I literally could not leave him alone for the first couple of months. He needed constant care and was on a strict medicine schedule following his hospital stay (he was admitted for several days my last week of work). Thankfully my husband was able to stay with us the first week and half which was so helpful for my transition but once he left the days began to feel quite long and emotionally heavy. I tried to keep up with posting on IG and FB about the adventures dad and I were having but quickly noticed it left me feeling fatigued both physically and spiritually and I simply didnât want to do it anymore. So after much thought, I let it go, knowing I would return when I was ready.
Thankfully, I recognized I was going into a transition of the soul and I knew I wanted to be present for it. Being back in my childhood home, having left a job that I deeply identified with and community that I loved, triggered a massive swing of emotional energy and it was hitting hard. The loneliness began creeping in, as you can imagine dad wasnât really up for chatting, so I started filling my days with projects around the house. I continued cooking healthy meals, pulling w**ds from the overgrown beds, organizing my fatherâs closets, and removing the toxic cleaning products my dad was using around the house. There was no way I was going to live in a house full of fake fragrance plus I was working on improving dadâs brain health and knew these items had to go!!
As the weeks turned into months, my heart began feeling more settled and I could tell my battery was beginning to hold itâs charge. I was healing. There were less tears. Going through the goodbye emails I received from you all helped my heart immensely during this time.
What I recognize and want to share is that in leaving a work that I so deeply identified with and leaving my community, it hit hard that I had actually grown into someone I didnât want to be. While I love serving my community and my work, I had made sacrifices in my own health and how I was âshowing upâ in order to be accepted and to make people happy. I had become the dreaded âpeople pleaserâ which was causing me stress in a way that was slowly chipping away at my energy. Multiply that by 16 years and you can imagine the kind of crash I had. While being away from my work has been hard, it has also been a time to reflect on what it means to me to be my authentic self and I knew I needed to change so I could return in a new way to serves both you and me. When we show up authentically, the energy flows more freely and thatâs when the magic happens.
During this time of transition, thankfully dadâs health had also begun to improve! Itâs amazing what consistently eating healthy foods and walking nearly daily, can do for oneâs body, even at 84 years old. Pops and I built a raised garden bed which is now producing okra, weâve enjoyed beach time and extra time with my sisters and their families, but mostly we spend time on my dadâs massive yard where I have discovered my love for w**d whacking! I mean, listening to STP while trimming up those grass lines is literally my jam! Who wouldâve known? Weâve also taken a couple of road trips with my uncle to Victoria, Tx and Corpus Christi to see family. I know Iâll always look back at this time with gratitude.
As of late, pop has been doing very well and I can see that my time here is coming to an end. While the humidity has done wonders for my skin, my hair is screaming for dryer climates!
Iâve also had the opportunity to begin working on my next project which I will begin to talk about in my upcoming emails. I will be continuing my focus on womenâs health and want to educate women on how to thrive in the changes of growing older. There is hope ladies!
