Stuart Tan

26/05/2025

Quick question: who in my list is actually a psychotherapist, counselor or mental health worker? I may have clients to refer in the near future.

Would you list your experience (even if you're new - clients are never one size fits all), the modality you work with and your target audience (e.g. couples in distress, emotional management for new mothers, grief from loss, su***de intervention, body dysmophia for women or bodybuilders, professionals having workplace anxiety, PTSD for veterans, etc) down in comments.

25/05/2025

You Thought Systems Were Key.

Ever been in a room where everyone’s nodding, the PowerPoint is slick, and the new “change initiative” is announced with a flourish?

I remember listening to an experienced senior leadership team. They’d spent months designing a new workflow. The logic was flawless. The goals were clear. The rollout plans were textbook.

But two weeks in, the momentum had vanished.
Project managers were quietly venting in side chats. Teams were “busy,” but deadlines started to slip.
One exec doubled the number of alignment meetings. Another sent out a series of urgent memos—reminders to “embrace the new way.”

You could feel the tension in the air:
People weren’t lazy.
They weren’t rebels.
But every “push” for change met with invisible drag—confusion here, a missed update there, a sudden spike in sick days.

In a quiet moment, the CEO confided,
“I thought I had a people problem, or a motivation problem. But the harder I pressed, the more things ground to a halt.”

When we unpacked it, the real culprit wasn’t the people.
It was the system itself—a dozen small habits, unwritten rules, old reporting lines—all tugging in different directions.

Each pressure point made the resistance snowball.
The more they blamed individuals, the more stuck everyone felt.

The answer lies within the assumptions you carry as a leader. Change those assumptions and you change the output.

22/05/2025

Another ‘game-changing’ initiative... and still, nothing changes.

Why?

It’s usually not because your team is resistant to change. It’s because they’re saturated by it.

There’s actually a name for this: Change saturation.

It drains energy.
It breeds skepticism.
And it’s the silent killer of progress in otherwise high-performing teams.

The result?
⚠️ Ex*****on without engagement
⚠️ Feedback that sounds polite but empty
⚠️ Innovation quietly replaced by survival mode

Real change doesn’t come from what you say.
It comes from what you model—consistently, visibly, and authentically.

This is called the modeling effect.

And once you see it, you’ll start to notice what’s really shaping your culture (and what’s quietly holding it back).

✅ It starts with one visible habit.
✅ It builds momentum through quiet consistency.
✅ And it creates trust because your team sees the change, not just hears about it.

If you're developing your teams and would like a professional opinion about how to do that from an organizational psychologist's point of view, DM me for a conversation!

22/05/2025

Another ‘game-changing’ initiative... and still, nothing changes. Why?

Let’s get real.

It’s usually not because your team is resistant to change. It’s because they’re saturated by it.

There’s actually a name for this: Change saturation.

It drains energy.
It breeds skepticism.
And it’s the silent killer of progress in otherwise high-performing teams.

The result?

⚠️ Ex*****on without engagement
⚠️ Feedback that sounds polite but empty
⚠️ Innovation quietly replaced by survival mode
Because real change?
It doesn’t come from what you say. It comes from what you model—consistently, visibly, and authentically.
This is called the modeling effect.
And once you see it, you’ll start to notice what’s really shaping your culture (and what’s quietly holding it back).

✅ It starts with one visible habit.
✅ It builds momentum through quiet consistency.
✅ And it creates trust because your team sees the change, not just hears about it.

If you're developing your leaders, and want to build the right leadership culture for productive operations, DM me for a conversation!

21/05/2025

I’ve been fascinated by how leadership by example is something that people put on as a mask rather than truly embodying it.

Someone I know who was a leader in a large organization was very well respected… until one day, he lashed out at his team in frustration, citing that they were not meeting his expectations.

I’m not surprised that engagement nosedived!

He committed the biggest error in leadership - not managing his inner world first before trying to fix the outer world.

And it can happen to the best of us, if we don’t know how to work on ourselves.

Most people don’t truly understand what it means to be a role model because they preach what they don't practice.

It could be telling people to be calm, when you're nervous.
Or that everything will be okay, then turning into the thing that makes things not okay!
Or talking about trust, then realizing that you're the one that breaches trust.

We have to deal with invisible forces that hold us back: our emotions and our beliefs.

For instance, I know a leader who actually believes in the idea of micromanaging!

Even though the results prove otherwise, he consistently emphasizes why it works. 🙈

This is a classic blindspot in beliefs.

But if I were to TELL him to change his beliefs, not only will he not buy into the idea, he would be helpless because he has no tools to make that kind of shift.

This is where neurolinguistic programming comes into the picture.

Imagine you have tools to sculpt your inner experience.
That perceived limitations can be adjusted.
When you can change your inner states, you are becoming more congruent between your intent to lead by example and your actions.

Self-management is the key to habitual actions that others can see. With effective self regulation, you hold yourself to a high enough standard that others want to follow.

For more application techniques, claim a copy of The Modeling Effect!

20/05/2025

𝗗𝗶𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝟳𝟬% 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗹?

Not because people don’t understand the message, or toxic leadership, but because they don’t see it lived out: when leaders say one thing, and do another.

It's not hypocrisy. It's lack of self-awareness.

It’s not what you declare, it’s what you consistently model that creates real culture shift.

Ask yourself:
➡️When was the last time you deliberately changed a habit publicly before asking your team to follow?
➡️Do you invite your team to notice (and even call out) when you slip into old patterns?

🛑 Culture isn’t taught. It’s caught.

When your team sees you say one thing and do another, trust drops and cynicism rises—fast.

And every time a top-down initiative fizzles, it gets harder for people to believe the next one.

What’s the lesson?

If you want culture to move, you have to make change visible starting with yourself.

✅ Share your stumbles… strategically and with good self-regulation of emotions.
✅ Discuss what makes up your mental views or perceptions of the issue instead of the issue itself (the language of submodality mapping - details in my book).
✅ Let your team experiment with their own micro-habits and run habit spotlights.

Every time leaders launch a new program without modeling or self-regulation, the gap between “what we say” and “what we do” grows wider.

That’s when culture change becomes a punchline, not a movement.

Want more insights on how to apply inner cognitive techniques to real leadership moments? DM me and I’ll send you a copy of my brand new 99-page guide, The Modeling Effect.

18/05/2025

Leaders - What if your push for accountability is quietly pushing your team away?

Most leaders say they want accountability.

But here’s what many forget: it starts at the top.

📊 Research shows that when leaders openly take ownership—acknowledging missteps and asking for feedback—engagement can rise by up to 39%.

Yet, when results stall, most leaders do the opposite:
🚫More checklists
🚫More pressure
🚫More micromanagement

The result?
Disengagement, hidden mistakes, and what I call “initiative fatigue.”

People start to tune out, not step up.

But here’s the deeper question:
👉 When was the last time you made your own learning moments visible to your team?
👉 Are your “accountability” pushes building trust… or just fueling burnout and skepticism?

Accountability isn’t a hammer.
It’s a mirror.

Your team reflects your courage and transparency.
When you show up with vulnerability, you create psychological safety—the bedrock for trust, risk-taking, and sustainable performance.

But research and real-world results are clear:
👉 When leaders model ownership, their people step up with confidence and creativity—not cynicism and caution.

Ready to put the modeling effect into practice?
Scan the QR code in image!

25/10/2024

23/10/2024

If you are more human, are you a stronger brand?

Like most, I had often made the mistake of not applying what I learnt.
It's not difficult.
But it takes conscious effort.
I spoke with about this on his podcast some time last year.

Self-growth and mastery starts with the ability to:
✔ Being human
✔ Self-Reflect on the inside
✔ Humbly accept the negative states you are in
✔ Take enlightened action
✔ Make small changes and adapt.
All this happens not just in one's "big" events in life like
➡ A business decision
➡ Personal relationships
➡ Having a discussion about where to retire
It happens even in small things:
➡ how you clean your house
➡ the attitude you carry when you exercise
➡ even how you participate on social media if you want to grow a presence.
All it takes is to accept one's humanity and be human in our interactions.
Even in the smallest things.
This way, people connect with you and gravitate to you.
You develop
🔸 your self-esteem (because it's about how others affirm you)
🔸 a sense of meaningful contribution to the world
🔸 observe proudly an improvement in yourself
What enlightened action have you taken today?

07/10/2024

I took the stage in front of a group of entrepreneurs whose combined annual revenue was probably in excess of $2Bn, a modest estimate.

I shared, in part, arguably the most significant thing about leading an organization: personal evolution.

The reason for destructive leadership is a lack of love.
I know it sounds like an odd thing to say about leading.
But we know that hurt people, hurt people.

Leaders who are toxic, destructive, scheming or authoritarian in nature, mirror their childhood relationship with their parents who are our first leadership role models.

From estimates, toxic leaders make up 1-2% of a large operation.
If you are a small enterprise, one toxic leader is one too much.

Perhaps one thing to consider when hiring is whether people have done their inner work to evolve. They might have:
→ worked with a mentor, coach or therapist
→ unlocked feelings of inadequacy or insecurity
→ seen a change in the way they treat people around them.

For the typical leader, losing one's temper is not common.
Unless under pressure.
If no support is available, tempers will rise.
Wellbeing and leadership are literally synonymous.

If you are unwell as a leader, you cannot be a leader.

What you decide under duress or stress can send ripples, costing you and your organization millions.

Time to undo this.

What are elements in Personal Evolution?

1. Inside Out vs Outside In
Always reflect deeply and make changes internally so that you get external results.

2. Being at Cause vs Effect
Don't "react" to circumstances. Anything that triggers you signals a need to look within so you can "respond" well.

3. Maximize the Platform
What do you do to your opportunities? Are there opporutnities you are taking for granted? Intentionally go for your goals with any opportunity, no matter how simple.

4. Unconscious to Conscious
Aim to make what is unconscious, conscious. This goes for strengths as well as your shadow side.

5. Vision, Purpose, Belief, State, Habit
Studying these will help set you on the pathway toward momentum success.

6. Forward Momentum
Whenever you feel held back and not feeling like doing things, lean forward, get one thing done in any shape or form possible to tell your mind to move forward.

7. Feel Good for no good reason
Don't do things to feel good. Rehearse wonderful states so you can access them on demand.

8. Everything is Feedback
Learn to receive feedback graciously and with gratitude.

9. Identity Setting
Go beyond "mind" setting to identity setting. Who you intentionally decide to be makes a difference.

10. Giving from your strengths
Give from strengths, become a gravitational leader, attract people to you by the gift of strengths that uplift others.

11. Conversational Intelligence
A leader's key role is interpersonal interaction. Learn all skills needed to master this inteligence.

Your leadership is a multiplier for your business, relationships and life.
Are you growing this muscle before you need it?