Raising Children of Alcoholics & Drug Users

30/07/2018

For all the grandparents and hurting grandkids. Life will get better --

30/04/2018

And this...you strong grandparents and others raising children is why you are necessary and vital and to be applauded for all that you do. The hardest things we do, often seem very small...but they aren't.

A post from my personal page:

There was a room full of people this weekend that could learn from my darling, and self-confident 7-year-old-granddaughter who isn't afraid to say, "That's inappropriate"--and expect you to turn off the radio, TV or look for a longer pair of shorts for her.

Wishing I could have been at the media dinner to stop the tirade and make a toast to Sarah Huckabee Sanders and all women who everyday show the next generation that beauty, intelligence, strength and "being a lady" works...whether you are World War II welder getting planes needed to our military, or the women fighter and commercial pilots for whom the sky is no longer a limit but an invitation to discover new universes.

There is no power, no beauty, no excuse for not taking out the trash. It just brings down all those exposed to it.

08/04/2018

Understood.com is a wonderful resource -- includes tons of information and lots of practical things to do as a parent or grandparent who is parenting a grandchild with learning, attention and even emotional
and social peer interaction issues. Many children of alcoholics and drug users have special needs that informed and mindful approaches in parenting, education, and life skill modeling/coaching can make significantly less stressful.

Understood was created by 15 nonprofit organizations to help parents of children with learning and attention issues. Learn about our mission, team and story.

04/04/2018

This so true. We have a lot more control than we think...even in the not-so-good times. Camp Agape representatives will be present (free camp for qualifying kids) next Monday at the Relatives as Parents monthly meeting in Salem, Oregon 3410 Cherry Ave. NE, Salem in the upstairs conference room from 10:30 to 12:30. I'll be speaking about Putting Together the Pieces When Parenting Grandkids with lots of time for Q & A's.

31/03/2018

Please feel free to share this message with anyone you know who might be interested. There will be lots of time for questions as we focus on some common sense things that you don't know you don't know if you aren't raising children whose parents use and abuse m**h, opioids, alcohol and other drugs.

“Second Time Around”
A group for grandparents or relatives
raising relative children
2nd Monday Apr 9th, 10:30 – 12:30
NorthWest Senior & Disability Services office
3410 Cherry Ave. NE, Salem, Oregon (Upstairs Conference Room )

Joan Callander Di**le Author of “Raising Children of Drug
Users & Alcoholics” will present on “Putting the Pieces
Together: Getting Help when Parenting Grandkids”


Suzy Deeds
Options Counselor
Family Caregiver Support Specialist
NorthWest Senior and Disability Services

Ph.: 503 304-3429
Fax: 503 304-3421

24/02/2018

An update for readers who want to know how Chad and I are doing: Life has been crazy busy (in a good way) and I'm happy being a regular grandma doing the occasional babysitting and spoiling routine.

I still speak to grandparents raising grandkids (next event is scheduled for April 9th, 10:30 to 12"30 in Salem, Oregon--I'll post a link when available with more details). I also advocate nationally for parenting relatives working as a volunteer with Generations United (GU) and Casey Family Foundation, and in Oregon with RAPP (Relatives as Parents Program) and Dept. of Aging and Disability Services' managers.

Chad is following his heart and training to become a trauma nurse, EMT or som**hing in this vein. His passion was stirred when he volunteered as a counselor at the Kiwanis camp for adults and children with disabilities and during his first aid/emergency training for ski patrol.

Himself, a victim of childhood trauma, he emerged as a healthy, happy and productive parent and adult. "One thing I’ve noticed is that most people go to grandma’s house and get spoiled, but for me it was the only safe place I had. Getting to live with grandma was like ‘going to grandma’s house’ all the time. I had more love there than anywhere else in my life," he was quoted as saying in the 2017 Sate of Grandfamilies' Reporthttps://dl2.pushbulletusercontent.com/uhDY7UgdGYnOod6G7VFkdKnuzE3yALmr/17-InLovingArms-Grandfamilies.pdf

23/02/2018

I always asked God to let me know what I needed to know. Funny how a note drops out of a kids' pockets or you feel the urge to check their digital chatter or a parent calls and says, "I didn't want to interfere but..." God did let me know and it was painful butit helped us short cut some paths that led to dangerous behaviors. The short cuts weren't smooth and the pushback was huge but we all made it.

I think if we all try to do som**hing everyday to help someone else then we have a reservoir of grace and strength to call on when we're that someone needing help.

Learn how to be an effective parent when raising grandchildren (or are the sober parent) for children. Our book Raising Children of Alcoholics & Drug Users is available on Amazon (have to enter our name with the book title (go figure) or at our website

About us… Opioids and other drugs, including alcohol, destroy families. I’m sorry for anyone fighting an addiction, but passionate about helping their children–and those parenting them. I adopted my grandson, Chad, who was physically abused. His father had problems with alcohol and anger, whil...

29/01/2018

I think this poem is so sad, but so telling. It mirrors many adult children's experiences and feelings...but certainly not all.

"the thing about having
an alcoholic parent
is an alcoholic parent
does not exit

simply
an alcoholic
who could not stay sober
long enough to raise their kids"

Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey

11/01/2018

Sometimes we just need a little fun in our lives. Check out Adorable Scoundrels, a book written by 91-year-old great grandfather, Howard Eisenberg, featured in one of my favorite online publications GrandMagazine:

Adorable Scoundrels BY HOWARD EISENBERG From his charming book, Adorable Scoundrels, Howard Eisenberg and his illustrator, Susan G. …

07/01/2018

Sadly, so many grandparents today are parenting their grandkids due to drugs and alcohol. Many have no idea how to get custody and/or guardianship/adopt. This link to our website gives insights in how to prepare, act and speak in family court: http://addictskids.com/grandparents-raising-grandkids/category/courts-grandparents-raising-grandkids/. Let us know with a comment if it's helpful.

Don’t become the elephant in the family courtroom. Help win your own case by becoming a star witness instead of an embarrassing elephant in the family courtroom because you don’t know how to act or what to say. In family court the judge, not a jury or set of laws, determines the outcome. He, or ...

01/11/2017

I had the honor of writing a blog/article for the gaga sisterhood this week and hope that you'll check out the article below or at https://www.gagasisterhood.com/. It's a wonderful site for all grandmas and covers subjects that are just fun to talk about (like activities and travel) to serious stuff like parenting grandkids or being kept from seeing your grandkids.

A Social Network for Enthusiastic Grandmas

25/09/2017

Start kids early with tasks they can succeed at and soon they'll have confidence to try things you never thought they could do. Praise often, when deserved, and be really generous with your "do overs" because do overs often open the door to "bring it on, I can do hard."