04/02/2024
The lack of compassion this man was shown, and yet still he showed upâŚ
Let me back up.
There were a lot of reactions to me right after baptism and moving westward. Turn & walk the other direction, pull their kids in closer, dirty looks, scared looks, rude comments, silence.
Many took me personal; one look at me and they would assume that I hate the God that they love. And they reacted that way, mad and defensive without me even doing anything.
Guys my age were looking for temple-worthy girls, but I donât exactly look temple worthy, so not only did no one want to date me, they didnât even speak to me, avoided it all together.
The hurt, confusion, and loneliness were indescribable.
It was in this season that I discovered my calling and passion for writing and speaking. But even that just opened more avenues for people to tell me, literally, âGod could never love someone like me.â
Do you know how hard it is to move forward continually through pain & judgment from others?
Do you know how hard it is to move forward and navigate continuously through others acting & reacting that I am unfit, unwanted, unworthy?
Being looked down upon, being told you donât belong and being treated as less than?
The shame people place upon you for not fitting their* mold.
Even know, 15 year later, still that I am too much of something or not enough of something.
Do you know how easy it would have been to quit when everything and everyone is telling you that you should? And why wouldnât I? How could I stay when no one wanted me to?
What energy did I have left to continue in that community anyways? Family, friends, strangers, turning away, disapproving, and disappearing.
God could never love someone like you.
How long could you continue in that before it strips you of your energy, drive, confidence, self-love, and faith? Years?
We know Leprosy was the worst sickness among them all; itâs a painfully long process of someoneâs entire body becoming disfigured & deteriorating.
In scripture, l***rs are considered living dead, you just . . .slowly rot.
Their bodies smelled, their sores were increasing, and their entirety was decomposing.
Hands would be without fingers, and feet without toes;
some victims have had rats eat part of them while sleeping and they didnât even know because of the lack of pain receptors.
It was a chronic, incurable disease, what was there to look forward to?
Could hope even be found with something so impossible?
Every one that had fallen victim would be completely outcast & abandoned by family, friends, and society. If they somehow did come across anyone, they would have to literally and verbally declare that they were unclean. Touching a l***r would then cause them to be unclean.
These poor souls cut off completely from everything and everyone theyâve ever loved over something they could not control.
No support system. No hope.
And early Israelites believed that this was punishment for sin and now they were paying for their actions. They deserved* this; this is what they get. So, it wasnât just fear that l***rs would feel from others, it was also shame.
When suffering with this, where is their head space? Is there even any sign of morale?
Somehow this man âfull of leprosyâ was able to dig deep to find whatever little bit
of anything that was left in him to show up still. To venture away from his banishment,
put his deteriorated body in the public eye, live through the embarrassment and shame of verbally declaring his disgusting state to others.
He did that somehow. I donât know how he did that.
He falls at the feet of the Savior,
hiding his face,
and his request was humbly worded with pain and hesitance:
âLord if thou wilt,â if you are willing, âthou canst make me clean.â
Not, can He heal me . . .but will He?
âI will.â
Laying His hands upon his head, âmoving with compassion,â
touching the untouchable, âBe thou clean.â
And immediately the leprosy departed from him.
Sores were closed, deformities removed, missing limbs restored, smell of rotting flesh disappeared, and skin made smooth.
He touched the untouchable, and He cured the incurable.
Our impossibilities are not a struggle for Jesus. He will not âmeet His matchâ with our suffering.
*****And you know, I donât doubt that Jesusâs compassion is what really healed this broken man.
How long had he been stripped of someoneâs time? Attention?
How long had this man been deprived of touch? Of compassion? Of love?
I donât doubt how Jesus treated him is what really made him feel whole in this experience of healing.
And Jesus didnât need* to touch him to heal him; He could have performed any miracle of healing from any power of His own and Godâs. But He chose to. He wanted to. Like the way we touch those we love to connect, to offer comfort and compassion, companionship, and love. He touched them because He wanted to, to convey compassion, connection, companionship, & love to us intimately & personally.
I am what happens when different doesnât get in the way of compassion.
The adversary will tell us we are too far gone, we are incapable of change, we are the exception, and there is no hope left. The pain, judgment, lack of compassion and shame from others will make it so hard to stay. Not fitting the mold, the world tells us we are unfit, unwanted, unworthy, and that God could never love someone like you.
But when we wonder what is there to look forward to, we remember the sacrifice and blood of our Messiah, our living water. He will not meet His match with our suffering, and our impossibilities are not a struggle, nor an inconvenience, for Jesus.
When everything and everyone says no, Jesus says, I will.
While others may fail us, He comes with healing in His wings & compassion that knows no bounds.
There is not one misfit, not one outcast, not one sinner, who Jesus is not saying to them, âFollow me,â and offering them something more. There is not one who Jesus does not see great worth and great purpose and great need of.
And your Jesus will never look at you like a waste of time or a waste of person.
We CAN be whole. Invited. Included.
