13/05/2024
Today was the first Mother’s Day without Mami and I felt compelled to share what I wrote for her eulogy.
More than a housewife
Growing up the youngest of ten had a lot of benefits but one of the best was knowing my mother always was there for me. That’s not to say she wasn’t like that for everyone else, but to me, my mother was my greatest ally.
Sometimes, even with some bad habits like eating a few bowls of lucky charms before bed.
Most of you know the history of my mother and father but in case you didn’t.
My mother was born in Mexico in the state of Jalisco. I once asked her about her earliest childhood memory and her answer, to my surprise, was living in the town of tlatenango. Apparently, they lived there until my mother’s oldest sister started getting a suitor, so my grandma said, we are out of here and they left for our grandmother's ranch. There my mother learned about family and hard work. Often she spoke about how she would spend most of her day with her Father helping with the various chores.
She definitely was a daddy’s girl, until one day my father came and scooped her up and they got married. Together with my oldest brother, a baby at the time, they crossed into Texas where she had 3 (one deceased) more babies. Eventually they migrated to Chicagoland in 1956 and here we are.
As I said before there are 10 of us but mami had 12 children. Our sister Alicia and brother Jesus passed away due to complications at birth.
Basically, mami had 9 children in about ten years then 3 more after that.
That alone should make her some sort of super hero.
Besides that she went on to take care of many other children and anyone that stayed under our roof.
Many of you have been fed by mami and undoubtedly felt her welcoming warmth when you were in her presence.
She was the most compassionate, forgiving, non-judgmental person I ever met.
The Love she had was infinite.
“Yo quiero a todos igual” I love all of you the same.
Although if you go in her basement you may get a different impression when you see a certain “Baby” everywhere.
Mami could wake up at 4:30 in the morning to make breakfast and prepare lunch for those who were on their way to work. Then do it again at 7 for those headed to school.
When we got home she was ready with lunch or dinner all while cleaning, gardening, sewing and doing whatever had to be done to keep a home.
At night she was always the last one to go to bed. Some nights she would get up to tend to me because of my bloody nose which could last hours then start the entire process again the next day.
On the weekends the house was always filled. Most of the time the living room had a row of kids that had slept over and everyone got breakfast in the morning. I never heard her complain that it was too much or she didn’t want to do it.
On the contrary, in these last years of her life the most upsetting thing for her was that she could not tend to everyone when they came over.
I can go on forever about how great our mami was but I will leave you with a couple stories.
One is a memory I have as a teenager. My best friend slept over probably after a party or other social gathering and later that day he made a comment that stuck with me.”man dude mami is like superhuman. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I came back the bed was made and the room was fixed! I never saw her do it.”
He was right, she was superhuman.
The other is from when I was in grammar school.
There was a project to decorate a giant cardboard ornament. The ornaments would then get displayed on the ceiling of Evergreen Plaza, our local mall.
I may have been 8,9 or 10 but I had no idea what to do or how to start and I was not much of an artist.
Mami, seeing that I was panicked, decided she would help me. In my small mind my initial thought was how can she help me?
First she said we are drawing Charlie Brown and Snoopy.
How the heck are we gonna do that, I thought. I couldn’t draw and from what I knew, neither could she. Well as one of my brother’s pointed out she was very resourceful.
She grabbed carbon paper and the picture of snoopy and started tracing. Carbon paper lets you draw or trace on the top paper and then it comes out on the paper under the carbon paper.
I had a sense of relief but mostly I felt proud.
I realized in that moment and many others since, that there was more to this wonderful person than what I saw daily.
She put me at ease that day as she did countless times. In the end, Chavo did have to get involved because, like I said, neither her nor I I were the greatest artist.
Our project did get displayed at the mall and eventually our home for many Christmas parties.
Not only was mami a great wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, great great grandmother, she was a cook, a peacemaker, a nurse, a great friend, and on and on. But she was also courageous, strong, elegant, and able to adapt to any situation. Lastly, she was smart! Smarter than my 9 year old self understood.
Being the baby of this wonderful family had tons of advantages but one downside was that I spent the least amount of years with our parents. Yet, I am grateful for the time we had as papi and mami once told me their goal was to see me through high school.
Mami I’m going to miss your beautiful smile and warm embrace. I’m also gonna miss your magical grilled cheese and our talks on my ride home from work but most of all I’m going to miss your constant example of “be kind Always and Always be Kind”
I want you to know that as often as you said you were proud of me, I was even more proud to be your son. I was proud to say you came to this country with a 1st grade education, not knowing the primary language and still persevered through every hardship life can throw at a person.
I want you to know that because of your love and guidance we are going to be ok. We all love you and will miss you but we will never forget you. We will be there for each other like you were there for all of us.
Te quiero mucho Mami
Tu Baby Guillermo
