02/08/2021
The porch used to be a place for gathering, after meals, and in the evenings, when all the chores were done. We would all meet outside to smoke ci******es and to bu****it, maybe drink a beer together, or have a cup of coffee. And those were the days, I tell you. Back then we had no way of knowing that one day we would sit and reflect upon those times, as though they were the best days of our lives. They were, and we do. We simply did not know it then, that someday down the road, with the passage of time, that we each would’ve alone with our thoughts and memories, or that those memories would occasionally come back to haunt us and to grieve us again and again. With each passing we are revisited by the same old grief anew. One by one we watch them go, and one by one they disappear...from life on earth, they leave us and we are left behind; we only see their faces in our memories, and we ask ourselves why. I’m here to tell you that it never goes away, that feeling that you get when you lose someone you love. When someone you love leaves you so suddenly that you don’t get time to say goodbye, you realize that you didn‘t spend enough time with them in life, and all of a sudden you want to see them so badly, and you desperately need to do so now, but its too late. What is it that makes us lose the thread, to never pick it up again? We were always there together everywhere we would go, there the others would also be. Our family and our friends it seemed, would be together with us till the end. If only we knew then what we do know now; we would know better..than to drift away from one another, and we would stay together, even when you were at a distance....you would look for me,and I would look for you, and nothing would ever separate us from one another...until death would we depart my friend. In memory of 1. Kim Lindley, who died yesterday morning after a long battle with cancer. 2. Vincent Maldonado, who lived a good long life and who had a lot in lot, loved a lot, especially all his grandkids, Vincent was my brother in law and he died two weekends ago. Im starting to feel that loneliness, how about you? My back porch is always too quiet, with only me and my memories of those of you who have passed on. I have to conjure up an image of your face, and I remember the sound of your voice, and the way you made me laugh so hard, that you made me cry... and then I remember the way you made me cry when you left me standing here alone, and I still want you back. Today I grieve for all of you, and though you are still alive, i am saddened by the way I never get to see your face, or to hear your voice...and so I must resort to a memory of you inside my head, instead. Reach out please, to everyone you love. You never know when time will be cut short, or how long you have or who will be next. We have no way of knowing when death will claim us all, what we do know is that we will go alone, when our time comes, so let’s try to stay together until the end. I love y’all. Goodnight. Sleep tight.
