21/01/2023
This is the first time I've posted to my page in a couple of years. Time is marching on. I guess the Covid-19 pandemic caused me to lose focus for what was my passion; control bodily inflammation and thereby stave off chronic disease and illnesses. I did really well for about 5 years controling my insulin resistance, almost got to my goal weight of 145; just 9 more pounds to go! However, I recently realized I was fighting against my genes. You see, I have both genes for diabetes. The mystery of my life was suddenly revealed. All my life I wondered why I was the only fat one in my family of 7. I as the only girl was teased and belittled growing up because I was fat. My mother weighed 92 pounds and I was always being compared to her. At 8 years old I weighed 50 pounds. I didn't realize it at the time of course, but I was probably the heavyiest child in my school. My mother started giving me diet pills. Perhaps the school nurse had suggested them. I was a very active child growing up. Always outdoors running and playing but still being made fun of because I was heavier than all the other kids. I guess that is why I never became obese, only overweight. So, my weight has yo-yoed all my life. When I was 18 I for no apparent reason lost my appetite and my weight dropped from 132 to 118. It was so wonderful to be attractive to boys for the first time in my life. I now realize that the sudden change in my appetite was probably due to my leptin hormone deciding to work for some unknown reason. It was around this time that I enlisted in the Air Force. No weight problems to hold me back! I signed on under the delayed enlistment program awaiting a slot at basic training. I enjoyed dating and going out for the first time ever. Then the day came for me to ship out for basic training in San Antonio, TX. By this time I weighed 110. I never did get down under 100 like my mom. I recall clearly when I arrived at my permanent duty station at George AFB in California, things were more spread out and we didn't have the busses coming around regularly to take to work, the chow hall, BX store, etc. I seldom ate at the chow hall back then because it was too far to walk from my dorm. I recall buying beef jerky and other snacks that didn't require refrigeration and keeping them in my room. So my weight remained good. I believe my ideal weight back then was 120. I'm sure I was within that number. Then I met my future husband. I recall him taking me to Denny's for breakfast, because breakfast was his favorite meal. I could not finish that big plate of food. I began to be sick at my stomach. This was a feeling I'd never had before. Growing up I had a big appetite and if it was a food I loved, I was a bottomless pit. Again leptin was working for me. Sadly, if you ignore leptin's signals often enough and over eat, it stops talking to you.
Then we married and I got pregnant right away. Of course I didn't know I was pregnant but seemingly overnight I developed a roll of fat around my abdomen. People I worked with asked me if I was pregnant. I was very offended that they noticed I was getting fat. Of course they didn't know my history. Finally, I missed my period and went to the clinic, and the test was positive. I was about 6 weeks along. I didn't realize at that time that I probably had gestational diabetes, although I did alway wonder why I showed so early in my pregnantcy.
The next day, my period started, at least I thought it was my period so I thought there was a mistake with the test. The next morning I woke in a puddle of blood; the bed was soaked. Of course I realized that wasn't normal. So I called off work and went to sick call. The doctor told me I was having a miscarriage and a large clot was holding my uterus open so I was continuing to bleed heavily.They transported me to the AF hospital at March AFB for a D&C. The first surgery I'd ever had. I remember waking up in agony. That was it! I never wanted to get pregnant again, nor have children.
So life went on for many years as planned. By then my biological clock was ticking. My husband decided he wanted a child, so we tried to get pregnant and succeeded. However, at 7 weeks gestation I had another partial miscarriage and had to have another D&C. My doctor said I probably had too little progestrone in my body to maintain a pregnancy so if I got pregnant again they would check and if needed give me progestrone shots. I now believe that because my thyroid was low or borderline low, my hormones were out of wack.
Well, I got pregnant again right away. I guess my progestrone was normal now because I never had to have the injections. My first pregnancy that went to term and I had gestational diabetes. My max weight with this one was 202 lbs. I was as round as I was tall and when it came time to deliver, the baby was too big so I had my first c-section. The baby was a girl, weighing 10, 11 ozs.
My doctor told me he believed having just one child was child abuse. Besides my husband wanted a boy to name Jonathna as well. So when our daughter was 1 yr old we tried for a boy and I had no problem getting pregnant. Again, I had gestational diabetes. My max weight this time was 212. The most I've ever weighed in my life. I had told my doctor that this time I wanted my tubes tied. I learned I was a fertile mertyl and had no problem getting pregnant. The jurney was just to hard on me. Boy or no boy this was my last pregnancy. This time, I had eclampciea so they delivered the baby at 37 weeks via c-section. The baby, a girl weighing close to 13 lbs, had to stay in the NICU due to low blood sugar.
No more pregnancies but I was left with a hernia from the first one
and a lot of loose skin because I had been streached out so far. By now my daughters were 4 and 6 years old. I decided to get the hernia fixed and a tummy tuck. Yet another abdominal surgery to recover from. I did manage to get down to a size 10. Smallest size I'd worn in a long time. But didn't stay there very long. By now I weighed around 156 and had hypoglycemia. At this time I had terrible brain fog and had to write everything down. I once forgot to pick my daughter up from preschool. Still, I felt relieved because I was not diabetic, but the doctor said eventually my pancreas would become exhausted and I'd be a diabetic.
Years passed and I continued to yo-yo with my weight. but managed to hold off the diabetes diagnosis. I finally tried the Adkins low carb diet and got down to 142. I was told by people I knew I was too skinny; I looked haggard! Thanks for calling me a hag. Of course I bounced back up again and before I knew it I was 198! The most I'd weighed without being pregnant. I decided I could no longer fight my biology. I Was just different from everyone else on the planet. I decided to never diet again because I always gained it all back plus 10. I could not take another 10 lbs on my 5 ft 2inch, medium frame and I ate whatever I wanted. Surprisingly I lost weight without trying. I was 182 and stayed at that weigh until I was told I was diabetic. Yes, I'd lost weight because I was diabetic.
I began my current journey about 6 years ago. I have not been able to date to conquer my leptin/insulin resistance but I still haven't given up. I believe the key for people like me is intermittent fasting and extended fasts of at least 4 day. It is difficult because I live with 4 people that eat whatever they want and I'm the cook. So right now I'm at 178.4 and experience hypoglycemia right around 11 am which is very unpleasant and I hate the symtoms. I've got to be strong and not give up.