Kat Kolegas

Kat Kolegas I help people feel sexy, alive and empowered in their bodies to create real love within themselves and in their relationship lives.

Woot woot! 🎉
02/05/2024

Woot woot! 🎉

Simple Truths
11/11/2023

Simple Truths

This is one of the hardest things for me. To just listen and not try to relate. But sometimes relating takes over the ot...
28/12/2022

This is one of the hardest things for me. To just listen and not try to relate. But sometimes relating takes over the other person’s sharing and we lose out on our chance to support them versus nornamlizing their experience or trying to show how they are not alone. What are your thoughts/experience with this?

Check yourself. Do you know how to empathize? For most humans with whom you have conflict, that’s all they want. They ju...
26/05/2022

Check yourself.

Do you know how to empathize? For most humans with whom you have conflict, that’s all they want. They just want you to truly understand where they’re coming from. They want to be seen, understood, felt.

Fixing, apologizing, explaining or defending is NOT empathy and does not help.

Listen and imagine what they feel. “Wow. I hear you that you felt really ______ when that happened". Or, if they don't know how they feel, take a guess. "Sounds like you were feeling _______".
They will correct you if you are wrong.

That’s it folks! Then shut up, listen and feel them.

Repair happens through empathy, through taking responsibility for what’s hard about being in a relationship with you - all while not making yourself or the other person bad. (I mean, unless they are a complete ass! - In which case you probably aren’t repairing. Lol!)

How does it feel to you when someone really tries to understand and believes how you experience something?

We had an amazing call today with Graduates of my Living Love Program!One of the themes that emerged was our tendency as...
13/05/2022

We had an amazing call today with Graduates of my Living Love Program!

One of the themes that emerged was our tendency as humans to get back together with exes, be on and off in relationships and try again with someone to go for different results. This pattern is shamed and looked down upon culturally and so sometimes we may not even tell anyone that we've gotten back together with our ex for fear that they will judge us, tell us we are heading for trouble or be unsupportive.

Studies show that 43% of people get back together with their ex one or more times, so, rather than advise people not to get back together, I think it's important for people to know how to care for themselves and use and practice their relationship skills throughout the process.

Whether or not the relationship will work this time around depends on many factors but one thing for certain is that beating yourself up for getting back together with someone or being embarrassed of your choices is NOT going to be helpful to you for your own healing and caring for yourself throughout the process.

I urge people to take it slow.

If you KNOW the relationship is clearly not good for you, ask yourself what age is the one who wants to get back together (your inner child) and what does she need from you - and work with this part of yourself. If you don’t know how to do that, watch this video in my FB group:
https://www.facebook.com/kat.kolegas/videos/10213776279734868

If you are unsure of whether or not the relationship is good for you, there are some great questions you can ask yourself at this link: https://bit.ly/3MeQkgU

If you truly feel it might be better this time around, you will need to equip yourself with some deeper relationship knowledge and skills around boundaries and bottom lines, attachment stuff (including cultivating a secure attachment with yourself), repair, empathy, character strategies, etc, so that you are putting your best foot forward and keeping integrity with yourself. If this is all news to you, this is exactly what I teach in the Living Love Program.

If you continue to feel unfulfilled in your relationship life, it’s time to take matters into your own hands and change that pattern.

PM me for more info or just book your free call with me at www.katkolegas.love/apply

06/04/2022

Is it easier for you to forgive someone or forget about them?

17/02/2022

Hi beautiful people who follow my work.

I just wanted to share with you all a bit about my personal journey and how I got to where I am.

I grew up in a family that did not talk about s*x or s*xuality and did not put much of an emphasis on the importance of healthy relationships and loving touch. In fact, as I’m sure is the experience of many of you reading this, there was really no place to get any sort of guidance on creating beautiful relationships.
According to social conditioning, you were supposed to just meet the right person and it would ‘happen’ naturally.

So much for that!

My first experiences with s*x and romantic relationships were…let’s say, less than ideal. I eventually found myself in a secure relationship and was in a monogamous marriage for 11 years and though it had very wonderful aspects to it, I was still empty in some way.

I was not only unable to ASK for what I wanted, I didn’t even really KNOW what I wanted.

I had been totally focused on the relationship that I had lost touch with myself.

One day, my body just told me I was done. DONE. It took a couple of years to untangle from that relationship and after a period of celibacy, I decided to take myself on a journey of s*xual self-discovery.

I called it my Sacred Sexual Journey.

Interestingly, the first couple of years were almost totally NON-s*xual (much to my dismay at the time, but in retrospect I see why) and really a time to sit with myself and learn again how to love and care for myself deeply. My son was still very young at the time, so I also had him to care for and that relationship to learn from.

I became involved with several spiritual groups focused on self-awareness, mindfulness, magic and total exploration of my humanness, which of course included my s*xuality. Yay!!

Being deeply involved in those communities and also working in a small group and one on one with my incredible coach, Leslie Potter, helped me to develop the skills and wherewithal to come deeply back to and love ALL of the parts of myself (including the parts I hated and just wanted to go away – my vulnerable little ones who are FOREVER present and with me and need love and care as well..)

In August of 2016, I got my Professional Cuddler Certification and later became a consultant and trainer for new cuddle professionals with Cuddlist dot com. I had seen a Facebook video about cuddling and I thought it would be an easy thing to do while I was getting my training and credentials to become a s*x and relationship coach. WRONG!

Cuddling has been an amazing source of growth in my life. It is a place where we work on boundaries and being honest and genuine with our ‘no’ and finding our enthusiastic mutual ‘yes’. That may sound simple, but for those of us socialized to please others, working on boundaries and speaking up is a NECESSARY step on the path to empowerment, feeling into, discovering and asking for what you want (YIKES!) and also being able to share intimate space (eye contact, closeness, trust, etc.) with another human being. Needless to say, cuddling is a journey in and of itself.

When I discovered and started working with the Somatica method of experiential s*x and relationship coaching, and later became a Group Leader and support of new coaches, I found a whole new layer of human existence, both in myself and others. Working with people in their erotic embodiment is not always easy. EVERYTHING comes up. This is intense work that is not for the faint of heart. BUT, it is an effective and efficient path to discovering and opening to your desire, creating the life and relationships that truly feed you and most importantly, finding pleasure in your life everyday.

When you do a practice IN YOUR BODY, you can change your neural pathways more quickly and effectively because you are not just talking from you head, you are actually PRACTICING your new skills – physically, emotionally, energetically AND verbally – IN RELATIONSHIP with your coach and with others in your life.
And that is what happened for me.

With all the work I had been doing with myself in terms of radical self-love and care as well as with my son, I was ready to move that care and love to a higher level in my adult relationships, both s*xual and non.

And learning and practicing these skills works!

I have attracted amazing people into my life who have been open to communication and learning about relationship and how to define and create beautiful partnerships. I now have numerous people that I interact with in the most intimate of ways which is not limited to s*xual exploration, but also includes clear, vulnerable communication and sharing, loving sensual touch and care for one another, and a myriad of others ways of connecting.

I can honestly say I have NEVER been this fulfilled and satisfied in my life and NEVER IMAGINED it to be possible to feel this way (with or without a capitol 'R' relationship - by the way).

I feel completely embodied in my authentic self and that allows me to create deep connections with other people and build beautiful relationships of all kinds in all areas of my life.

I want to SHARE this with the world and help others to find their own path to pleasure, peace and happiness in their lives. It’s so simple, and yet, so much easier with a guide – someone who has got your back. Someone who can constantly remind you of how awesome you are and that this is just the journey of a human and you get to choose how you walk it and who you walk it with. And you make those choices over and over, everyday.

I want everyone to feel the freedom of LIVING LOVE and LETTING GO OF FEAR and harsh self (and others) judgement.
I want everyone to know what it is like to live their true empowered human potential for ever and ever!

No matter what your desires, they are perfect for you!
This is why I am a s*x and relationship coach and this is how I can help you transform you life to be TRULY LIVING YOU and enjoying the beautiful true love and relationships that you deserve.

If you are ready, REALLY READY to make a commitment to yourself and take the next powerful step toward pure pleasure in your everyday life, watch my Masterclass to learn about the five steps to FEEL alive, s*xy & empowered so that you can attract & create the most amazing, deeply connected and fulfilling relationships of your life.

Here is the link to register: https://watch.katkolegas.love/s/8Xst5h

With love and gratitude,
Kat

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