10/10/2024
world mental health day 🌀
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the journey of making peace with trauma and mental illness is a holistic (all parts of self participating) and consistent (every damn day) one. at one point I would have said “battling” instead of “making peace”. I’ve reached a point where I can no longer battle myself. instant karma activates if I do. obsessively trying to heal makes me even more sick. I am healing and I am whole.
🌀
things that resource me towards wholeness:
• slow, quiet, and simple mornings that help me reduce the urgency that wants to yank me out of bed.
• completion. from a 2 min task to a 2 year project. both equally fulfilling at this point.
• gratitude for all that I have, share, and do. it’s easy to forget.
• non-dualism. which helps me see and find acceptance for the paradoxical and contradictory nature within everything. it deepens my compassion for myself and others.
• listening and laughter. both create lots of space in my brain.
• holding and looking my 8 yr old self (she’s the most fearful) in the eyes and telling her she is safe.
• co-regulating with trees and mountains when I feel misunderstood. they hold me effortlessly.
• saying no more often, being less available, and finding ways to be ok with it. I have less capacity these days. I think we all do. I can’t do it all and I won’t. and we are not meant to be accessible at all moments of the day.
• breath. It keeps me anchored to where I am.
• physically creating space through shaking, tapping, jostling, so all parts of me have more room to move.
• consistently painting even though I’m a beginner. It’s humbling and soothing on so many levels and I’m getting better.
•friends that ask me how I am and gently call out when I’m apologizing for simply existing.
• my cats, Nandor and Lotus. they are equal parts savage and sweet. and I accept and love them just the same. they love me and all my flaws too.
•embracing the cyclical nature of being human. it’s just what it is. can’t fight it no more!
🌀
love you.