09/01/2026
M A I N T E N A N C E : A 👑Kingdom Perspective
The Divorce Negotiator, Lizelle Stoltz ©️
This is going to be a bitter pill 💊for many to swallow but it needs to be said and swallowed.
When I consult with fathers about maintenance, I often hear the same quiet fear beneath the frustration. “I’m left with empty pockets.”
Mothers in turn fear of being abandoned and not being able to take care of the kids financially.
Maintenance is experienced as being OUT of pocket, rather than INTO your child’s life.
Parents miss the point that Maintenance is stewardship of God's Money, provided by HIM for the minor children, whom cannot fend for themselves.
January hits hard. I get it.
School fees. Stationery. Uniforms. Real numbers, real pressure. Suddenly maintenance isn’t a clause on paper anymore, it lands in your bank account and on your chest at the same time.
After years of mediating and walking alongside parents through maintenance disputes, one truth keeps surfacing:
The hardest battles are rarely legal.
They are heart battles.
BUT this truth anchors everything:
⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
✔️We don't have money.
✔️It is all God's money.
✔️Maintenance is God’s money too.
✔️We are mere stewards, not owners.
So lets look at the 5 Biblical principles of money from both perspectives, the perspective of the parent that pays and the perspective of the parent that receives & manages the children's funds.
▶️ The Parent PAYING Maintenance
1️⃣ MINDSET
“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7
How you think about maintenance shapes how you experience it.
If you see it as punishment, your heart hardens. If you see it as stewardship, peace follows.
➡️Example:
A parent who pays believing “this is taken from me” resents it.
A parent who pays believing “this is entrusted to me in order to care and provide for my child” pays with integrity.
2️⃣ MAKING MONEY
“Be fruitful and multiply.” Genesis 1:28
God’s instruction to increase did not stop at divorce. Maintenance does not remove your calling to grow.
➡️Example:
Instead of saying, “I can’t get ahead because I pay maintenance,”
Rather ask: “How can I increase my skills or income to meet my responsibilities?”
3️⃣ MANAGING MONEY
“Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful.” 1 Corinthians 4:2
Faithfulness is practical. It looks like consistency and reliability.
➡️Example:
Paying on time, every month, without emotional withholding...why? Because it builds trust especially with your children and they should never bear the weight of adult issues.. especially money issues.
4️⃣ MULTIPLYING MONEY
“Well done, good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:21
God praises growth, not stagnation.
Resentment freezes progress; responsibility restores dignity.
➡️Example:
A parent who keeps growing financially doesn’t see maintenance as a ceiling or burden but as one of many responsibilities they manage and manage well. This is true success!
5️⃣ GIVING MONEY
“For God so loved the world that He gave…” John 3:16
Giving with the wrong heart creates control.
Giving with the right heart creates legacy.
➡️Example:
Paying maintenance without using money as leverage protects your relationship with your child(ren) in the long-term.
▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️
▶️ The Parent or Spouse RECEIVING Maintenance
1️⃣ MINDSET
“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7
Maintenance is not who you are, it is what you manage for a season.
➡️Example:
Seeing maintenance as temporary support, keeps you focused on growth, not dependence.
2️⃣ MAKING MONEY
“Be fruitful and multiply.” Genesis 1:28
Support does not replace responsibility.
Fruitfulness still applies to you. You need to contribute your portion!
➡️Example:
Using maintenance to stabilise your life whilst developing skills or income, honours God’s design for increase.
3️⃣ MANAGING MONEY
“Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful.” 1 Corinthians 4:2
Whether the money is for children or spousal support, it must be managed with integrity. Manage these money well and you will live in peace.
➡️Example:
Using maintenance for its intended purpose brings peace, not conflict, into co-parenting.
4️⃣ MULTIPLYING MONEY
“Well done, good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:21
God honours wise growth, not long-term dependence.
➡️Example:
Using maintenance to build stability first, then strength - prevents emotional and financial stagnation.
5️⃣ GIVING MONEY
“One gives freely, yet grows all the richer.” Proverbs 11:24
Generosity isn’t about amounts, it’s about posture.
➡️Example:
A generous heart, even in limitation, keeps bitterness from taking root.
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❗️ Final Harsh Truth❗️
Maintenance is a tool.
Used with wisdom= it stabilises lives.
Used ❌️without stewardship❌️ =it damages hearts.
➡️Stewardship is the difference⬅️
I can testify to this fact in my own life, if you are a good steward, our Heavenly Father will multiply your efforts and He will A L W A Y S provide 🙌🏻
