Kidling Connect: The inside-out training hub

27/10/2023

🤔Is your child more of a sensory seeker 🌪 or avoider...or both? 🚫

Understanding how your specific child processes their sensory world from the inside-out, can be a game changer in making sense of (and responding to) their sometimes "odd and confusing" behaviour.

Children who have Sensory Processing Disorder usually fall into two categories, a seeker or an avoider.
Most people think that you have to be one or the other but you can actually be an avoider and a seeker too. It's more common to be both than one or the other.
A sensory seeker is hyposensitive and an avoider is hypersensitive.
A child with Sensory Processing that is an avoider will become overstimulated because they are sensitive to what is around them and will feel everything much more intense then others. Sensory avoiders will avoid sensory input.
Hypersensitive means that you are more sensitive (over-responsive) to input than others. This may look like covering your ears when a vacuum is turned on because it is too loud. Or struggling with the feeling of your clothing, even to the point of not being able to wear clothes. At times we refer to people that are hypersensitive as avoiders, they want to avoid certain types of input because they are more sensitive to them.
Hyposensitive means that you are less sensitive (under-responsive) to input than others. Meaning you may want and crave more input to feel regulated and fulfilled. This may look like constantly moving, spinning, jumping, or playing rough with others. At times we refer to people that are hyposensitive as seekers.
https://sensoryprocessingdisorderparentsupport.com/seeker-avoider.php

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11/08/2023

🌟A big congratulations🌟 to the wonderful teachers of Little Einsteins Playschool who completed our Kidling Connect OWL-BRAIN WORKSHOP this week. 🙌🏼

🧠Our preschool teachers got an inside-out understanding of how little brains (0-6yrs) learn and grow neural connections ⚡️ through play.
👉🏼They will now be able to spot play-schemas as the brain is busy developing them.
🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏾‍♂️This will also help our teachers to know how to encourage this growth and development through play activities for all the little humans lucky enough to attend their school.

📸 PHOTO CREDIT:We would like to thank Luca; 🤸🏻‍♂️our awesome 4 year old photographer for the day. Thanks to you we have proof of our wonderful workshop experience (eventhough this is our only usuable/ viable group photo 🤣).

💻GOOD NEWS FOR PARENTS (of kids under 6yrs):
Our OWL-BRAIN COURSE will soon be available online. This is an ideal option for busy parents, but also au pairs/ nannies and even grandparents who would also like to learn more about how different schema play activities can be used to boost brain development in your own little ones or those in your care.

📩You are welcome to leave your name and email address if you would like to be notified when our online courses become available or feel free to send us an email at kidlingconnect@gmail.com with any questions.

👉🏼Join our KIDLING CONNECT community on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn to stay up to date with all of our new developments.

Warm regards,

Danelle Gough
Counselling Psychologist & Founder of Kidling Connect Training Hub.

26/07/2023

Wait, what!? 😃🤯
Did you know that as a parent, you have the
🌟 SUPER POWER 🌟 to change your child's genes!! 🧬 ..and no, I am not talking about their pants.👖🤭

Have you heard of 🧬EPIGENETICS🧬 before? 👇🏼

🧠"Experiences very early in life, when the brain is developing most rapidly, cause epigenetic adaptions that influence whether, when, and how genes release their instructions for building future capacity for health, skills and resilience.
🧠That's why it's crucial to provide supportive and nurturing experiences to young children in the earliest years".

🌟 SOURCE: Why quality counts: Adapted from "What is Epigenetics", Harvard University; Center on the Developing Child.

🌟 Learn more about the fascinating super power that you can unlock as a parent by learning more about EPIGENETICS. The attached infographic is a great starting point. 👌🏼

20/06/2023

🤔How do you know that your child is about to have a meltdown? 🔥🔥🔥

Well, sometimes we can just "FEEL" it coming. Like an approaching train sending vibrations through the earth... 🚉
...and other times, meltdowns can catch, not only us parents, but also our kids by surprise. 💥💥💥

🌟🌟Learning your child's specific early cues or "signs" of escalating dysregulation, can be such a game changer!

👉🏼Pause...
👉🏼Take a deep breath, 🌬
👉🏼Attune to your kid,
👉🏼and then try to look at your child's behaviour from the inside-out; especially those behaviours that might just look like "hyper" or "attention seeking" behaviour...it might actually be one of your child's early cues for a loading meltdown.

02/06/2023

👉🏼Ah yes! The upside-down dog yoga pose.
🌟Indeed a very famous toddler "pose", which gained its fame amongst parents as a "sign" (from the universe/ or your baby) that it is time for the next baby or that the next one is already on its way.🤰🏻🫃🏾🤔

🔥🫢I am sorry to be the one to have to break the news to you, but this one is unfortunately just an old-wives tale.💥

🧠This upside-down dog yoga pose is actually an external sign (visible to us grown-ups) of normal cognitive brain development and the beginning signs of your child exploring and developing their orientation schema (aka looking at stuff from a different perspective).
🫶🏻You will see this cute little pose in all kids starting soon after their first birthday and.... it happens to coincide with the same time that most parents typically consider having/ planning for baby number 2, or 3. 🫃🏾

Instead of your child predicting when the right time is to grow your family, your little one's behaviour is driven by the 🦉 "owl-brain" 🦉 (aka: the thinking part of the brain).🧠🧠🧠🧠

🧠🤸🏻‍♀️When in this schema, you will notice that your toddler will have the uncontrollable urge to repeatedly check their world out 👀from different angles as they play and move about. They will typically loooooove being upside-down 🤸🏻‍♂️🤸🏼🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏿‍♂️, but you will also find them climbing on top of things🛒 (trees🌳/ gates/ counters/ tables/ couches/ beds/ playground equipment/ bicycles) or underneath stuff and generally engaging in a whole bunch of risky physical moves...🤸🏽‍♂️🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏿‍♂️ just to get a new perspective of their life and the universe.

⚡️⚡️This schema takes the cake when it comes to the reason that so many kids under the age of 6 walk around with bruises, stitches and barnicles on their heads as they explore different angles through new physical movements.

🌟🌟Luckily it helps a little bit to know that with the development if this specific owl-brain schema also comes massive spurts in their overall development.

👌🏼Goal for parents with a kid in this schema: Try to strike a good balance between:
1) Having clear rules + boundaries around unsafe activities +
2) Allowing your child the needed space for risk taking behaviour to develop this schema.

🎥🎬 To find out more about the orientation schema as well as the other 8 schemas (+ how to redirect unsafe behaviour), keep an eye out for our new online "OWL-BRAIN COURSE"- open for registration soon. More information on this course to follow. 🌟🌟🌟

14/05/2023

🌷🌷🌷Happy mother's day! Today we celebrate all moms and mom-situation-ships!

Much love 🫶🏻

03/05/2023

👌🏼Here are 5 things you can do to help little kid brains to learn how to CLEAN UP!

🤨🤯"Just clean up your toys/ the playroom/ this mess!"

🌪Clutter and messy spaces can be overwhelming for most brains, kids and grown-ups alike.

🧠What seems like a simple "mindless"task to just "clean up the toys/ clutter/ mess" actually requires the human brain to fully engage your prefrontal cortex.

🤓This is the "executive/CEO" of the brain that helps us to tackle all kinds of big and small tasks and to actually follow through and get it done. It helps us to plan our approach, to actually start the task, to organize, stay on track, pay attention, adapt our strategies when unexpected things pop up, all of this whilst keeping track of the time, your progress and regulating your emotions to persevere.

🧠This awesome piece of brain matter grows with age but ever so slowly. It only reaches maturation around age 25. Between the ages of 3-5 years, little kids gradually start showing signs of executive functioning skills emerging as they can help out with small tasks around the house. This time period (in comparison to the first 2 or 3 years of lived life experience) is seen as a massive burst 🌟 in prefrontal brain development. This big of a burst of brain development happens again around adolescence 🌟 and early adulthood🌟.

🧠🌟You can use the executive functioning (EF) skills in your own brain to support and help your child to get practice in building their own EF skills:

1) PLANNING: Help them plan the cleanup operation to make it less overwhelming: "wow, there is a lot to clean up, let's see what needs to get done....toys need to be put away in the toy box and the trash needs to go in the dustbin. What do you want to start with first?" Giving choices also helps them feel more in control of the chaos.

2) ORGANIZE: Break tasks up into smaller manageable tasks: "Okay, so let's start with the toys. We have blocks and cars. What would you like to pick up first?"

3) TASK INITIATION: "Collect all the blocks and then we can put it in the basket. Now let's do the same with the cars".
🌪If your child still struggles, go back one step and simplify the task even more for example "maybe start with all the big blocks first, then we will collect the smaller ones".
Side note: It is okay to intially help them and clean up alongside them just to get them started. "I will do the cars and you do the blocks". 🌟You can also crank up the fun factor by tapping into your toddler's competitive nature and have a race to see who gets done first.

4) SUSTAINED ATTENTION, SELF-CONTROL + WORKING MEMORY: Chances are likely for little kids to get distracted, loose interest or they might even start playing with the toys or walk away. Help them find their way back to the task by reminding them that it is cleanup time not play time.

5) PERSEVERANCE + EMOTIONAL REGULATION:
Your little kid will probably get frustrated when cleaning up and complain about it taking too long or it being too hard. That is perfectly normal for their age and skill level. It is also okay to take a short break in between, afterwhich they can resume the task. Make sure to offer them emotional support when they get frustrated. "It is okay to feel frustrated, cleaning up is hard work but I also know that you can do hard things".

👉🏼Try these out and let us know how it goes.

01/05/2023

🧠How can I care for my mental health after having a baby? 👶🏽👶🏼
🎙This is a fantastic episode by Mediclinic baby for all new (and 2nd or 3rd time around) parents (moms and dads included).

👶🏼👶🏽Growing your family is so much more than just having cute baby pictures and memories. It is a life event that can (and often do) have a profound impact on the whole family unit.

Obstetrician and gynecologist Dr. Dalene Barnard discuss some "golden nuggets" on how you can take care of your mental health after having a baby on "The health wrap podcast".🎙 Give it a listen.

👉🏼Here is a breakdown of the topics discussed:

[00:03:46] - [00:06:10] The benefits of the bonding process between parents and newborns.

[00:06:11] - [00:08:32] How new parents can enhance their bond with their baby.

[00:08:47] - [00:10:55] What mothers can do if they struggle to bond with their babies.

[00:11:04] - [00:13:43] Baby blues and postnatal depression. How they feel and how long they last.

[00:15:22] - [00:17:50] Who mums can turn to when experiencing postnatal depression.

[00:20:32] - [00:22:43] How the partners and family of the new mother should respond to her sharing her struggles with postnatal depression.

[00:23:28] - [00:24:59] How the mental health of the mother can impact her partner.

[00:25:13] - [00:31:38] Treatment options for mums with postnatal depression.

Do you know the difference between baby blues and postnatal depression? Is it something you’d know how to plan for when having a baby? In reality, more than 1 in every 10 women struggle with Postnatal Depression within a year of giving birth according to the United Kingdom National Health Service....

26/04/2023

🥺😥The cost of beauty: Dove self-esteem project.
📵💻📱We can no longer deny the existence or impact of social media on our kids. It is here to stay and part of our reality of raising kids and learning how to parent a generation of kids growing up with it.
👉🏼What we CAN DO is informing ourselves of the impact it has and how to advocate for our kids as we navigate this sticky territory of parenting.

🔎📖"New research by the Dove self-esteem project found that social media is harming the mental health of 3 in 5 kids. The hours our kids spend online each day put them at higher risk for anxiety, depression, eating disorders, low self-esteem, and other mental health issues. It exposes them to everything from cyberbullying to adult strangers to dangerous challenges".

💪🏼KIDLING CONNECT is joining change makers like Dove, Common Sense Media and Parents Together in supporting legislative change to make social media safer for our kids.

📃"The Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA) is a bipartisan bill that would require social media companies to design their platforms to put children’s safety ahead of profits. That means identifying and mitigating harms kids are exposed to, giving parents better reporting tools, and turning children’s privacy protections to the highest settings by default".

✒️Join this meaningful movement by signing the online petition available on the DOVE website:
https://act.parentstogetheraction.org/petitions/pass-the-kids-online-safety-act?source=website-pta_an_petition_kosa_0622_pta&

*Source: 2023 Dove Self-Esteem Project Research for Kids Online Safety
**Written by Bruce Fisher and Billy Preston

CW/TW: Sensitive content. This film features real stories about body appearance that may be upsetting to some viewers.New research by the Dove Self-Esteem Pr...

18/04/2023

I just looooove GOOSEBUMPS! 🪿〰️
Why you may ask? Well, unlike some of the trillion of bodily sensations happening inside of our bodies every day, this is one that is actually visible to the naked eye 👀 (your eyes and the eyes of other people). These little cheecky bumps come out and play hokey pokey on your skin to get your attention. Either to tell you that you are cold ❄️ and need to warm up your body, or it is evidence of you having a big emotion in response to something that happened/ was said. 🥹

🤸🏻‍♂️🤸🏽‍♀️🤸🏼Unlike goosebumps or even blushing ☺️, not all bodily sensations are so obvious, especially for our little kids.
😵For example, sensing the build-up of urine in their bladder and knowing that it means they need to get to the toilet soon.
🌵Alternatively for some kids/ people, certain bodily sensations may be super exaggerated and they may be hyper sensitive to how certain sensations are experienced inside the body. For example the label inside a shirt may be experienced as highly aggitative to the skin or even intolerable to some.

🌟🌟🌟Interoception is the 8th sense of our bodies that a lot of people don't know about, BUT SHOULD!
It is a super power that we all possess. It is our amazing ability to become aware of the sensations on the INSIDE of our bodies. Once we become aware of it and it is better understood, it is something that we can harness to better understand and meet our own unique physical and emotional needs.

👌🏼Learn more about this amazing ⚡️"super power" ⚡️by checking out our new KIDLING CONNECT infographic: How to help your little kids harness the power of their 8th sense of 🌟INTEROCEPTION. 🌟

09/04/2023

😯🧐🫣Have you ever thought about how you "feel about feelings"? What is your knee-jerk ⚡️ response when someone you know/ your kids have a big feeling in your presence (e.g. cry, becomes upset/ angry). 😭😱😡😳

👉🏼Do you ignore/deny uncomfortable feelings in the hope that it goes away. Maybe even brushing it off by saying something like "it is not that bad, you'll be fine", or
👉🏼Do you get triggered by other people's big feelings, in which it may leave you feeling upset/ irritated and saying something like "stop crying, I can not take it!", or
👉🏼Do you acknowledge and accept other people's uncomfortable feelings, allowing space for it to be felt, saying something like "it is ok be sad".

How we as parents express feelings, talk about feelings and react to feelings can deeply impact our children's neurological, emotional, behavioural and social development for generations to come.

🏡We can not change our own childhood ito how we were taught to "feel about feelings", but 🌟as grown-ups we can reflect on whether our current way of "feeling about feelings" serves us and our kids, and if not we can change how we see, talk about, respond to and "feel about feelings". 🫶🏻




🔬Here's a great article on the topic for a broader perspective:

How parents express and process their emotions can have an impact on their child's emotional and social development, researchers report.