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Frances Calitz NLP Practioner & Master Life Coach, Edenvale (2025)

24/03/2024

Based in Buurendal, Edenvale.

Thank you to all those that have taken advantage of this special - I know that you are reaping the benefits of our sessions.

This is the last chance to take advantage of this amazing offer as it finishes the end of March 2024.

Contact me before end March, book your sessions through April / May 2024 and still pay the special offer price.

R250 per hour session - min of 4 sessions payable in advance.

This special is available to those that would like the opportunity to explore their emotional and mental wellbeing at a much lower fee than usual.

The invisible wound - trauma / emotional distress is felt but cannot be seen.

Seeking out a life coach is not an acknowledgment of weakness or shame but instead taking responsibility for your emotional and mental health.

07/03/2024

Based in Buurendal, Edenvale.

I’m extending this unbelievable special offer until end March 2024.

R250 per hour session - min of 4 sessions payable in advance.

This special is available to those that would like the opportunity to explore their emotional and mental wellbeing at a much lower fee than usual.

The invisible wound - trauma / emotional distress is felt but cannot be seen.

Seeking out a life coach is not an acknowledgment of weakness or shame but instead taking responsibility for your emotional and mental health.

22/01/2024

Unbelievable special offer for first 10 people to sign up and pay.
Jan and Feb are the longest two months of the year.
With this in mind and knowing how financially difficult these months are, I am running a special to help those that are in need of counseling.
R250 per hour session - min of 4 sessions payable in advance.
Special runs until end February 2024.

21/12/2023

The 7 stages of grief originally developed as the 5 stages of grief by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross who was a Swiss-American psychiatrist and a pioneer in near death experiences and death and dying, as explained in her best selling book of the same name.

She worked with countless terminal illness patients and developed the 5 stages of grief - later extended to 7 - whilst working on her field of expertise.

Whilst this method was applied to those who were terminally ill who were trying to come to terms with dying, it can be used across the board with many other situations.

Someone who has lost a loved one who has passed on, someone grieving the loss of their marriage through divorce, the loss of a long term relationship or job, children leaving the nest or cutting ties with the family and someone who has suddenly retired.

All of these situations include the loss of the usual, the stable or the everyday state that was the normal for each day.

Losing this usual state creates disorientation / confusion, anger, sadness, feeling lost, useless, frustrated including anxiety with depression and denial.

Very real emotions that are not that easy to deal with when you are overwhelmed, because of having to deal with all of them at once.

The steps below are very real and are noticeable if you make yourself aware of them.

It is important to have support from a counselor/therapist, family member, colleague or friend who will help you through the various steps without judgement.

There is no set time to move through the grieving process as we are all individuals and manage our emotions differently.

If you or someone you know is going through this at the moment, be gentle with them / yourself and offer support when they need it 🤗

20/12/2023

Who do you think you are?

The title of a song by Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods in the mid 70’s.

The song is about a guy who is in a toxic and abusive relationship even though he treats his partner the right and caring way.

He starts to question why he’s in the relationship because of the way he’s been treated and because of his own personal values.

He knows his self worth and is not prepared to take the abuse any longer.

Do you know your worth?

We are all worthy - whether it personal or work related.

Do you let other people define your worth by their words and actions?

We all have our own set of talents and skills that bring something interesting to the table, value to our lives and others in our lives, be it personal or business.

This is what makes the world go around - imagine we were all the same with the same values, mindset and attitudes.

What a sorry world we would live in.

None of us are better than another - we might have more money, a better job description, more education, more children, bigger houses and so on.

None of these matter in real life - we need the CEO’s just as much as we need the janitors and garbage collectors.

We all contribute to society in one way or another.

So - not one person’s worth is more valuable or important than another’s.

Remember that next time someone is being mean to you because they see you as being less important or less worthy than them.

You are worthy too - you just need to believe it 🤗

19/12/2023

This is the truth right here.

It’s not about telling people how to do things -it’s about being a living example and showing how it’s done in real life.

For example how to work around various emotions like anger.

Not rising to the ego in the situation but rather approaching it in a calm and rational manner and talking the issue through.

Being kind when others are snappy and inconsiderate.

Looking for the lesson rather than the punishment in bad situations.

The list is endless but it shows that there are other ways of dealing with difficulties in life, that if you approach in the right way can be a positive lesson to others.

This in turn creates a more harmonious and positive environment and those people that have learnt a life lesson from you will apply it to situations in their lives.

And others will learn from them - thereby changing mindsets and preprogrammed responses to more positive one 🤗

18/12/2023

Negative self talk and a limited belief system.

We are all guilty of it - it’s human nature to look for the negative as opposed to the positive in situations.

Feeling not good enough or worthy enough is quite a common trait that I see in counseling sessions.

It’s been programmed into us from an early age that we need to do better or be better to get the reward - whatever that might be.

This in turn starts a process of negative self talk which is slippery slope.

For example: I will never be able to do it or they don’t like me - negative self talk - because I’m not good enough, I can’t be loved - limiting beliefs.

You are telling yourself these things and they are not true.

Start by reversing the process of the limiting beliefs - I am good enough
and the negative talk - so I can do it.

Look for the positive in each situation instead of the negative.

If you replace one negative thought into a positive thought,by the end of the week you should be able to recognize the negative thought process you are using and you should feel more positive as well.

Only you are in charge of your thoughts - wouldn’t you rather be processing positive thoughts rather than negative ones? 🤗

15/12/2023

Yin-yang symbol

I use the Yin-Yang symbol with my clients, to explain balance or equilibrium in our lives.

The symbol itself refers to a concept originating in ancient Chinese philosophy where opposite forces are seen as interconnected and counterbalancing.

In the two tear drop shapes the opposite colour is represented in both of them.

In other words in the black tear shape is a white dot and in the white a black dot.

Not everything in life is all good (white) and not everything is all bad (black).

Once we realize that life is made up of all these moments good and bad we understand the balance of life as it is.

When we are really going through bad times there will always be a glimmer of light, the white spot, to show better times ahead.

When everything seems too good to be true , it usually is and there will be a hiccup along the way, the black spot.

The two tear drop shapes white and black - equal and counterbalanced - show how we need to balance things in our lives in order not to live too much in a fantasy world (everything is too good) or a really negative and dark place (everything is really bad).

Life happens and a lot of the time we have no control on external circumstances around us.

It’s how we manage these situations that’s important and if you understand that life consists of good and bad events you will be able to deal with whatever comes your way.🤗

14/12/2023

Disagreements / difference of opinion or whatever you would like to call it, seems to be a bad thing these days.

There are a lot of people who just keep quiet in a meeting, a discussion between family or friends, a zoom call to talk between members of a group or any other situation where two or more people are involved.

This is because the silent people are avoiding conflict or being challenged for having another opinion.

Since when has it become an issue to disagree with someone or voice your own alternative opinion.

Can we not be adults and approach the matter in a calm respectful manner and take on board what the other person or persons have to offer.

Looking at the situation objectively and taking all opinions on board, could possibly produce a better, more creative and balanced solution to whatever issue had been raised.

Everyone seems to want to have their say and be heard but not to listen to what others have to say.

We really need to get to grips with this phenomenon that is taking place all over the world and make a safe space for all to contribute towards any discussion or conversation in a meaningful and positive way.

Make the effort and the time to include all into voicing their opinions without the attitude and negativity that usually accompanies these situations.

This small step could be a major change in different dynamics like schools, workplaces, online discussions / meetings, social occasions and families. 🤗

13/12/2023

Kindness is free.

Kindness comes from your own free will and could take literally a moment of your time.

With so much anger, judgements and nastiness in life, a moment of kindness could change someone else’s day.

They in turn could pass kindness onto another and they to another and it could create a chain of small kind moments in each others lives.

It could be small or big - a smile, a hug, a compliment, a cheery good morning, helping a neighbor with their parcels or feeding their animals while they are on vacation.

The list is endless and full of possibilities.

Remember - life is a circle and the kindness you put out into the world has a way of coming back to you.

Besides that - you can change someone’s day by a random act of kindness.

If enough of us show kindness to others it could also change the world into a better and happier place 🤗

12/12/2023

Gibson’s theory of perception:

To see what we believe to be true based on our senses, our experiences, our expectations and past knowledge.

But not all of our perceptions are true.

Some could be based on a traumatic or bad past experience.

Others could be passed down through the family as fact or through learning institutions.

The bottom line is that in order for you to have a clear understanding of whatever your perception is about, you need to do the homework.

Educate yourself or go within to understand the perception that might be worrying you.

A lot of our perceptions are not what we think they are - it is what we believe to be true.

For example: When I was a child, boys were taught not to show emotions and many were told “big boys don’t cry”

We now have a generation of men who are struggling mentally because their perception is that showing their emotions is a sign of weakness.

This is simply not true - everyone has emotions and it’s how you as an individual manage them.

It is up to each and every one of us to break through the illusions of our inherited perceptions and find the truth, in order for us to move forward armed with confidence and freedom.🤗

11/12/2023

Life is a blessing and yet so many of us take it for granted.

We seem to think that life will go on forever and spend our time trying to get the next big thing that will make us happy or fulfill our lives as we imagine it.

Nope - each minute of every hour of every day that passes is now history.

It’s passed, gone - you can’t get it back.

Blessings aka gratitude is about living in the moment and being aware of the many good things that you have in your life.

Once you come to terms with this concept you will realize how rich you are and that you actually do have enough.

This awareness also opens the door to allow other experiences and riches to enter your life without having to constantly chase after them.

This is the law of the universe and when you reach this level of understanding you will never experience the feeling of not having enough or being good enough.

You will be more fulfilled and content and living each day to the fullest 🤗

07/12/2023

We all have the time - it’s about whether we make the time or not.

I have often heard people say that they are too busy, too tired, to stressed or too many other declarations for not keeping in contact, showing up or getting around to finishing a task.

“I don’t have the time” - this is not a true statement.

Believe me, if the situation was life threatening or had a time limit on it, then suddenly there would be time to attend to the situation or person.

It all comes down to priorities and how far up or down, you or the task at hand, is on the totem pole.

The higher up you are the more prioritized you are and the more time you will get.

And so it applies to the other end - the lower down you are the less time you are given, with the statements as listed above.

Time waits for no man.

If there’s a call, a visit to be made or task to be done, do it sooner rather than later.

By the time you decide that you have the time, it could well be too late.

Love the ones you care about, spend time with them and do the necessary tasks that need sorting out.

Make the time - it’s absolutely essential 🤗

06/12/2023

This business of busyness - yes it’s a word and a very apt word for being too busy to deal with your internal affairs.

I notice the busyness with people around me all the time.

Always having to do something, rushing through things or being so competitive with others that everything is a competition to be first or the best.

Why??? It only gives you satisfaction in that moment and in 10 years time you won’t even remember it. It too shall pass.

The sad thing is that by not living calmly and confidently in the present you are missing out on all the small and precious moments in your life.

I realize there are times where deadlines need to be met or certain things need to be attended to immediately for eg life threatening situations but really guys you need to slow down and enjoy your life.

Nature shows us how to do this - the spider will get it’s web made, the caterpillar will spin it’s cocoon and the butterfly will emerge, the seasons will come and go with all they have to offer.

There’s no specific date or time for any of these events and yet they all get done without all the busyness, competitiveness, angst and agitation that comes with it.

Slow down, smell the roses, learn who you are and find the areas you need to work on, while enjoying all the miracles and special moments that life has to offer you now 🤗

05/12/2023

If the whole world was blind, how many people would you impress?

Think about this carefully - everyone is blind.

You cannot impress them with your looks, your fashion, your home or car, your office space, your gadgets and any other material objects.

What will impress them are things money can’t buy - strength of character, compassion, humility, kindness, respect for others and love.

We get so caught up in the world of image and consumerism that we forget about the basics of human life and interaction with our fellow man / woman.

We become all consumed with our things that we own and the image we project to others that we lose touch with the reality of what’s happening around us.

Your beautiful looks will fade as you get older, your fashion will change, your possessions will break or will have to be replaced.

The point is you cannot take all these material things once you depart from this world ….. but you can leave a positive legacy and memory of yourself behind - that will live on forever through the lives you have touched, your friends and your family.

So I’ll ask again:

If the whole world was blind, how many people would you impress? 🤗

04/12/2023

Forgiveness…… not an easy thing to do but absolutely necessary for our sanity and our soul.

When we are hurt, betrayed, abused mentally and physically it’s a human reaction to get even or pull away to protect ourselves.

This behavior is based on fear from our ego.

The fear from not being able to win the battle or be as nasty back to the offender.

Now you have a choice:

1. Your ego can push you to accept the challenge to retaliate or punish said offender
Or
2. You can put your ego aside and forgive.

Why these options?

Option 1. Will not end well and will just create a vicious circle of hurt and pain - even if you pull away from the situation mentally it will still always be there.

Option 2. Forgiveness - contrary to the ego perceiving it as a weakness, will release the pain and hurt and allow you to move forward with clarity and self love.

Forgiveness isn’t given for another person - it’s done for you.

Once you forgive completely ( the offender doesn’t even need to know that you have forgiven them) then it releases your emotions attached to the offender such as fear, hurt, pain, sadness and anger.

Once these emotions have released then they have no power over you any more, which then improves your mindset, emotions, decision making and lifestyle choices.

Make your choice today and change your life 🤗

01/12/2023

There seems to be a rising issue in the workplace with bullying from colleagues or managers.

I have heard from a few people who have mentioned the toxic environment that they work in and the way they are intimidated, spoken down to, humiliated or called out in front of other staff members or even been shouted or sworn at in the office.

I then heard the local radio station discussing this exact same topic and agreed with everything that was being discussed with a counselor that was being interviewed, who deals with this issue on a daily basis.

This shows me that there is a trend in business, of people that manage areas in business that are feeling insecure in themselves and their capabilities.

They are projecting said insecurities out on others with anger, frustration and resentment.

As was discussed on same radio interview this is all based on fear - which is a negative emotion.

For example:

The staff being belittled and shouted at are afraid to say anything back or defend themselves for fear of retribution or losing their jobs.

The manager who is doing the shouting and belittling is afraid that his performance is not up to scratch and is fearful that someone will notice and his job will be on the line.

A lot of companies have embarked on programs to put management levels into coaching / counseling.

This is to make an effort to get ahead of any issues that have appeared since the Covid shutdown and mental health issues that could be affecting performance in the workplace.

As these management levels are generally bright and progressive people, the counseling / coaching is pretty quick - just a couple of sessions to get to the root issue and enable them with tools to move forward with confidence and compassion.

The same applies to the meme below as those that are not confident in their abilities as manager will never train someone up.

This is because they fear that person taking their job / position.

Fear based decisions and fear based verbal directives never go well and is quite frankly a recipe for disaster.

Whatever happens in a toxic work environment then spills over to the home environment and it snowballs from there.

Best to grab the bull by the horns, be proactive and get some coaching so that you can have a strong and productive work environment and a calm and happy home life 🤗

30/11/2023

This seems to be a general train of thought that I keep hearing these days.

For example:

My life will be better when ……
I get a new car, house, more money, a baby, married etc etc.

This is a false reality because once you have that item that you really wanted - that was going to make your life better and it didn’t make a difference - then you start searching/wanting the next thing on the list.

Chasing the money, the car, the job, the relationship etc is not fixing the root issue.

The issue is within you - you are not happy with you and you are searching outside of yourself to fix the way you are feeling.

All getting what you thought you needed to make your life better, is just putting a band aid on the issue.

It makes you happy for a while and then the cycle starts again.

The same applies to being ready, one day.

You will never be ready because there will always be something else that needs to go into place before you can start.

Once you centre yourself and find out who you are and have gratitude for what you have in your life everything else will fall into place with ease.

There will be no more chasing after rainbows or the next best thing in your life.

You can then move forward with confidence and a sense of purpose knowing that whatever happens you will be ok 🤗

Frances Calitz NLP Practioner & Master Life Coach