sonica_burger, Mulbarton Road, Four Ways (2025)

10/12/2025

As I move through December, I’m reminded of something beautiful and painfully true, the Festive Season can feel like an emotional magnifying glass.

If you’re surrounded by love, those feelings may grow warmer. But if you’re feeling lonely, overwhelmed, or unsupported, this season can make everything feel heavier and harder. And if that’s you right now, I want you to know this:

There is nothing wrong with how you feel.
You’re not too sensitive.
You’re not “failing at Christmas.”
You’re simply human, navigating a season that can bring up a lot—memories, expectations, grief, hopes, and hurts. You deserve gentleness, especially from yourself.

Talking things through can truly help. Entering into therapy isn’t about fixing you, it’s about giving you a safe, calm space to breathe, unpack what’s weighing on you, and feel supported. You don’t have to carry everything alone.

Reaching out is strength.
You deserve care. You deserve connection. You deserve someone in your corner.
Please take things one moment at a time. YOU matter.

A Few Coping Tips for the Festive Season
Here are some small, practical ways to look after your mental health over the holidays:

1. Set boundaries with your time and energy
You don’t need to attend every event or meet every expectation. Saying “no” is an act of self-respect.

2. Stay connected, even in small ways
A short voice note, a walk with someone safe, or reaching out to talk can soften the weight of loneliness.

3. Make space for rest
The festive season can be overstimulating. Give yourself permission to pause, breathe, and take breaks.

4. Honour your emotions
If you’re grieving or struggling, let your feelings exist without judging yourself. Christmas isn’t a test you need to pass.

5. Create small moments of comfort
Light a candle, watch something that soothes you, journal, or make yourself a warm drink. Tiny rituals can ground you.

If you need support, I’m here
If this season feels heavy and you’d like someone to talk to, please reach out to set and appointment.

Sonica: 081 773 4477

You don’t have to go through this alone.

09/12/2025

Your nervous system is not fragile, it’s wise, adaptive, and doing its best to protect you.
When we continously experience overwhelming experiences in life, and don't have the tools to process these experiences, our window of tolerance can shrink, leaving us feeling anxious, numb, reactive, or exhausted.

Through therapy, we gently teach the nervous system that it’s safe to expand again.
We build vagal tone, strengthen regulation, and support an overloaded system so it no longer has to hold everything alone.
Little by little, the pain you’ve been carrying for years begins to loosen… not because you “got stronger,” but because you finally received support, co-regulation and tools to build vagal tone.

This is not fragility.
This is power, and healing is possible.

If you’re ready to expand your window of tolerance and reconnect with safety in your body, reach out.
Sonica | 081 773 4477

08/12/2025

Often, the biggest conflicts we face are the ones that live inside us.

Self-doubt, shame, and the voice that doesn’t believe our feelings matter, that we’re enough, or that we can do (or deserve the joy from doing) the hard thing.

It’s these voices that inform and reinforce our self-protective parts - the parts that project judgment onto others, that keep our vulnerabilities hidden, and our worlds small.
And, in context, it always makes sense. These parts and voices were developed at some point in time to keep us safe.

And our work is in developing a relationship to these voices, these parts, these impulses to stay small, hidden, and on guard.
To get curious about what they’re trying to protect, to grieve what we never got to process, and to show ourselves again and again that we are worthy, that our feelings and responses to the world do matter, that we’re allowed to feel how we feel, and that we can actually become our own advocates, safe spaces, cheerleaders, and mature, loving protectors.

To begin meet ourselves safely inside changes how we respond to the world outside.
It changes how we show up in relationship,
how we navigate difficulty,
and whether or not we let in love, support, and affirmations of our goodness.

It’s not about always being calm, never having hard moments, or not making mistakes - but it’s about how you can begin to meet yourself with loving acceptance, compassion, and accountability that helps you process THROUGH these aspects of life.

How is your current relationship with you?

08/12/2025

The cost of fawning

05/12/2025

🌸Aloha

A Kahuna massage is more than a gift for Christmas — it is a soft doorway back to yourself.
It arrives like warm waves on a tired shore, smoothing the places you’ve held too tightly, loosening the stories your body has whispered for years. In the rhythm of flowing hands, old patterns begin to unthread, making space for breath, for clarity, for a new way of moving through the world.

Spiritually, it feels like returning home, like being guided by ancient wisdom that reminds you that you are held, supported, and connected to something far greater. Emotionally, it invites the heart to exhale, to release what no longer belongs, and to remember its own courage. Mentally, it clears the static, quieting the looping thoughts so your own truth can rise again. And physically, it melts tension with a kindness that seeps deep into the muscles, leaving the whole body humming with renewal.

This Christmas, give the gift that transforms from the inside out — a gift that lingers long after the wrapping paper is gone.
A gift of softness, of awakening, of beginning again.

Book your Kahuna journey with
Sonica | 081 773 4477🌊
🙏

01/12/2025

Somebody said, “Stop reminding me of how strong I am when I come to you for a safe space to be weak.”
And honestly, that’s one of the realest things I’ve ever heard.

Because people forget that the strongest ones — the ones who always hold everything together, who stay calm, who carry their own pain quietly — also need moments to fall apart. Strength doesn’t mean they don’t get tired. It doesn’t mean they don’t need comfort. It doesn’t mean they don’t crave a shoulder to lean on.

Sometimes the worst thing you can do to a strong person is praise their strength in the exact moment they’re trying to be vulnerable. They’re not looking for compliments… they’re looking for understanding. They’re not looking to be reminded of what they endure… they’re wanting permission to finally let it out.

A safe space isn’t telling someone to “be strong.”
A safe space is saying:
“I’m here. Take a breath. You’re allowed to feel this.”

That quote hits so hard because it exposes something most people never talk about: we admire the strong, but we rarely offer them a place to rest. And sometimes all they want is to stop being the strong one for a moment — without being guilted, without being praised, without being dismissed.

It’s not about their strength.
It’s about having someone who understands their humanity.
“Andy Burg”

26/11/2025

Most people think storytelling is powerful because it lets you “express yourself.” But the impact goes far deeper than expression: your brain changes when your story is witnessed.

When someone is present with you—really present—your nervous system receives signals it never had during the original experience: You’re safe. You’re not alone. Someone sees what happened.

That shift matters, because the memory that once lived in isolation finally has a new context. That’s what rewires the brain.

And here’s the other half we rarely talk about: witnessing changes the listener too.

When someone hears your story with openness, their own system softens. They recognize parts of their pain in yours. Your honesty gives them language, permission, and a sense of safety they didn’t even know they were missing.

This is the science of why healing is relational.
We don’t just tell stories—we co-regulate, we make meaning, and we reorganize our internal worlds through connection.

25/11/2025

IT'S NOT "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" IT'S "WHAT HAPPENED TO ME & HOW DID IT SHAPE ME?"

What happened (the event)
-Big T or little t trauma
-One-time or ongoing
-Relational, developmental, or environmental
• breakup or divorce
• A global pandemic
• A traumatic birth or surgery
• Cancer
• A car crash
• childhood bullying
• An emotionally unavailable parent
• A physical or sexual assault
• Chronic microaggressions
• An unexpected loss

How it felt (your experience)
• "I don't belong."
• “No one came for me."
• "I had to freeze or shut down."
• "I was powerless and confused.”
• " have to stay strong for everyone else."
• "It's not ok to feel."
• “I’ll never be safe again"
• “It's my fault"
• "I'm not good enough"

How it shaped you (The Effects)
• anxiety
• shame and guilt
• emotional numbness
• perfectionism
• Nightmares, or intrusive thoughts
• Hypervigilance (always scanning for threat)
• "People pleasing" and overfunctoning
• Body tension, fatigue, or chronic pain
• Disconnection in relationships
• Chronic irritability
• Avoidance
• Difficulty trusting

24/11/2025

When we talk about “darkness,” we’re so often speaking about parts of us that have been pushed away, forgotten, or misunderstood.
IFS (Internal Family Systems) teaches us that every part inside you, even the ones that feel heavy, chaotic, or frightening, is not an enemy.

It’s a protector.
A survivor.
A younger you who learned to cope the only way they knew how.

What you call “darkness” may simply be an exiled part longing to come home.
It doesn’t want to destroy you, it wants to be witnessed.
It wants connection.
It wants you.

When you turn toward the places that scare you, with curiosity instead of judgment, something shifts.
The part softens.
It starts to trust.
And in that trust, healing begins.

Your internal world isn’t a battlefield.
It’s a family system waiting for reunion.

💛 Today’s gentle invitation:
Take a moment to check in with a part of you that feels difficult. Ask it:
“What do you need from me right now?”
You don’t have to fix it. Just listen.

If this resonates, share this post or tag someone who might need a reminder that their “darkness” is not a flaw, it’s a part of their inner family waiting for love.
And if you want to get to know your parts through IFS, contact me
Sonica | 081 773 4477

thank you for sharing this image 🙏

21/11/2025

✨ 𝐏𝐨𝐧𝐨 ✨
In Hawaiian thought, pono is more than “rightness”, it’s a deep sense of balance, integrity, and harmony within ourselves, our relationships, our ancestors, and the natural world.

It’s living in a way where our choices, our energy, and our intentions align with what is good, true, and life-giving.

As we move toward the end of 2025, a year of shedding, releasing, and remembering what truly matters, may we each find our way back to Pono.

May you feel pono within yourself,
pono in your community,
pono with your ancestry,
and pono with the ʻāina, the living world around us.

Here’s to closing this year in balance, clarity, and deep connection. 🙏🐍💫🐎
E ola ka pono.

17/11/2025

In the sacred art of Kahuna Bodywork, the elements of Fire and Water are living forces that move through the body, the spirit, and the healer’s hands. When consciously woven into a session, they bring transformation, clarity, and deep restoration to the one receiving.
Fire is the energy of transmutation, the spark that awakens life force, burns away stagnation, and rekindles inner passion. Within the session, Fire brings light to shadow, empowering the receiver to release what no longer serves. It stirs the spirit into movement and courage, awakening vitality and purpose from deep within.

Water is the essence of flow, emotion, and grace. It soothes and softens the spaces Fire has opened, washing away tension and allowing the body to remember ease and surrender. Through the practitioner’s flowing, oceanic touch, Water restores the natural rhythm of breath, emotion, and heart, returning the being to harmony.

When Fire and Water dance together in Kahuna Bodywork, they create a sacred alchemy:
🔥 Fire awakens, Water heals.
🔥 Fire purifies, Water replenishes.
🔥 Together, they restore balance between action and stillness, courage and compassion, body and spirit.
In this elemental embrace, you remember your own wholeness, your innate rhythm with the pulse of life itself.

If your spirit is calling for renewal, courage, and flow, step into the sacred space of Kahuna Bodywork. Allow Fire to awaken your inner power and Water to carry you home to peace. Book your session, and give yourself permission to rise, release, and remember who you truly are.
Sonica Burger | 081 773 4477

17/11/2025

The nervous system constantly asks: am I safe? am I seen? do I matter? Every time your pain was dismissed, your autonomic nervous system received a message: you are not safe, your signals are not trustworthy, and you must override your internal cues in order to maintain attachment and social survival. Over time, this repeated disruption of co-regulation and attuned response interferes with development of the brain’s integrative structures, especially those that help with interoception, emotional processing, and self-regulation.

This demands a survival adaptation: suppress the signals, doubt yourself, keep moving, don’t need too much, and definitely don’t trust your body.

This process shapes the belief and the body. When a child is not believed or met with attunement, the stress response is activated without repair. Over time, that unrepaired activation alters the functioning of every bodily system: immune, endocrine, digestive, cardiovascular, and neuroimmune systems all become dysregulated. The constant wear and tear from this unresolved stress is what we call allostatic load. It is deadly.

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