07/11/2021
Here comes a long post.... Grab some coffee and be prepared to read. Before I start with everything that's on my mind, and more into the journey. I want to start with how it all started so you can see how it all began. Started from the bottom now we here 👏🏻💪🏻
Growing up, I had always been the chubbier child. Leaving high school had changed that all. I managed to lose weight and was at my lowest weight yet. But was also not the healthiest of weight. I was loving life and my slim, trim self. Life had started to get bumpy and around my second year of working, I moved out of home to become independent. But leaving home meant leaving a cushy life where everything was almost done for me. Being independent meant the life of fast food and going out a lot. Slowly the weight was all coming back. Back to the yo yo diets…Fast forward to a few years, I had put on quite a bit of weight but also neglected my mental health. This led to a bipolar diagnosis. With diagnosis, medications followed. Through the years the medication increased as well as trying different types. Hunger was a huge side effect for most. Slowly but surely, more weight was being gained. I was not taking responsibility and blamed medication for everything. Finally meeting my dream man, life started to settle. I still hadn’t addressed my weight issues and yet again took no responsibility. With my mental health being at its best, life being at its best it was back yo yo diets and dome diets being of only 500 calories a day. Healthy? I think not… I however carried on with these unhealthy diets and was seeing results. Until life got tough again and I turned again to food. Fell of the diet wagon and gained more than what I had actually lost. My weight gain was then swept under the rug. My excuse… it is the medication. I was eventually at my largest of 130.3kg. No clothes fit, I had bright red stretch marks and felt horrible. Never got dressed in front of anyone…not even my husband. Clothes shopping was the worst, I could not fit into anything and the shops that did have my size, I couldn’t afford. I think I almost wore the same outfit every weekend. My feet started swelling and shoes were now an issue and would not fit. I blamed my feet on the heat, maybe gout (was far from gout) and the shoes. And guess what, I brushed my weight under the rug. My family were concerned for my health and my mom has mentioned how she did Weighless years back and it really worked. I did not listen, I knew best. Plus it wasn’t me, its the medication and I will never be able to lose the weight. My husband sat me down night and gave me tough love. All my fears, thoughts of myself were finally exposed. I was hearing my thoughts and what made me uncomfortable from someone else. My husband was going to pay for Weighless and I was joining. No negotiations. I did not believe this would work. I think my husband also underestimated me and thought I would drop out and not stick to it as I had done this with most eating plans. I joined Weighless on a Saturday morning and met with my first group leader (this was when I lived in PTA, because of lockdown I went onto virtual) I felt comfortable and at ease. I was then excited. 5th of October 2019 I started my Weighless journey. The weight was actually coming off and I couldn’t believe it. I was confused as I was eating crabs and fats!!!!! This then motivated me more.
I have gone from depending on food to make me feel good to now knowing how to balance everything, knowing when is enough as well as the most important bit... Dealing with my emotions and finding solutions and a way forward instead of binge eating. It's tough even until now to stop food being that demon.
I should have been at my goal weight already. But lockdown happened, routines and life changed BUT I am back it.... 37kg down with 16kg to go! LIFE HAPPENS!
What is important to understand, the scale is not the be all and end all. It's your marker and guidance.
This blog will be about so much. From myself to nutrition to how to's and motivation and much more! 🌻❤
