Couples Help

14/02/2025

What if love was never something we owned—but something we consciously renewed daily? 🫶

We often get lost in the illusion that love, once declared, is ours forever. That saying I do once is enough. That time, routine, and history will carry us forward. But love is not a fixed moment in time.

💟 Love is a series of moments.
💟 Love is waking up each morning and deciding, I still choose you.
💟 Love is looking at your partner not as someone who is there but as someone who is still worth falling in love with.
💟 Love is an active decision, not a passive assumption.

And that is where magic lives.

How different would our relationships feel if consciously renewed our commitment daily?

12/09/2024

You're not alone. Burnout can strain even the strongest relationships. When one partner is feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and emotionally drained, it can naturally impact the quality of your connection. It's important to remember that burnout isn't a personal failing, but rather a sign that you're needing some extra care and space to recover.

By understanding the signs of burnout, being mindful, and acknowledging the struggle, you can find ways to restore balance and strengthen your connection. ❤

Read my latest article on how to navigate the challenges of burnout affecting your relationship: https://www.coupleshelp.co.za/post/i-have-no-bandwidth-navigating-burnout-in-relationships

25/06/2024

When we hurt the ones we love, our initial reaction is often guilt and shame. These emotions are natural and signify that we have empathy and a healthy conscience. However, guilt and shame alone are not enough. They can sometimes act as barriers, preventing us from truly addressing the harm we've caused. ❤️‍🩹

We need something more transformative than guilt and shame. One of my clients aptly termed this "decent regret." When asked what she needed from her partner, she replied, "Not your shame, not feeling guilty, but decent regret." Decent regret goes beyond the surface level of guilt and shame. It involves Accountability, Self-Reflection, Empathy and Commitment to Change.

In my latest blog article, I explore how couples can move beyond guilt and shame and embrace 'Decent Regret'. 🥰

Read the article here: https://www.coupleshelp.co.za/post/decent-regret-why-shame-and-guilt-aren-t-enough

15/06/2024

Surprising Secret #5 for Happy Couples: Prioritise Yourself! 🫶

Want a stronger relationship? Here's a counterintuitive tip: focus on YOUR happiness first! Partners can't fill voids, but self-fulfillment can transform your love life.
❤

Discover the other 6 Secrets for Really Happy Couples: https://www.coupleshelp.co.za/post/7-secrets-of-really-happy-couples

11/06/2024

Love is a beautiful, complex, and sometimes fragile bond. ❤
While I hope that love can be forever, it’s essential to recognise that the 'together forever' might not be for everyone. By understanding this, we can approach our relationships with a deeper sense of gratitude and commitment, always striving to nurture and cherish the love we have.

"Our partners do not belong to us forever; the fact that they chose us at a certain time is a gift that should be cherished."

Read my latest article where I share my learnings on the reality of 'Forever Love' and how it is each of our responsibility to stay connected.

Read More: https://www.coupleshelp.co.za/post/love-might-not-be-forever-embracing-reality-and-cherishing-connection

05/06/2024

Is giving your partner an ultimatum the best way to save your relationship?

Regardless of the circumstances that brought you to this point, demanding change might not be the answer. Holding space, or giving them freedom to choose, can create a chance for healing and connection. ❤

Read more about this powerful approach in my latest blog article - The Power of Holding Space in a Relationship Crisis. Link in the comments

30/04/2024

Ever feel like you & your partner just can't see eye-to-eye? It might not be about the issue itself, but our underlying pain beliefs. These beliefs shape how we react in conflict, acting like lenses through which we view the situation.

Intrigued by how to break the cycle? 🤔

Join the 'Hearing each other AGAIN' online course! It's a self-paced journey to understanding pain beliefs and their role in conflict. You'll learn to:

❤ Identify your pain beliefs
❤ See how they impact your responses
❤ Communicate more effectively

Ready to transform your conflicts?
Start today: https://coupleshelpathome.com/course/hearing-each-other-again



Here are a few examples of common pain beliefs that individuals may hold ⬇️

25/04/2024

Pre-Marriage Workshop this Saturday! ❤️

Limited space, follow the link for more information and to register: https://www.coupleshelp.co.za/pre-marriage-workshop

09/04/2024

The more one speaks, the louder the silence from the other. Sometimes both remain silent, defeated, while the silence between them builds a wall that grows higher and higher. Other times, two voices shout so loudly that words strike like lightning bolts, without truly achieving anything. These are the painful realities of conflict that many couples know - a dance of misunderstandings and heartache.

What if you could learn the skills to resolve these conflicts in a healthy way?

Take a look at my latest article as we explore the dynamics of staying engaged in conflict.

Understand, empathise, and grow while navigating the heart of conflict in your relationship.

22/03/2024

Stuck in a Pain Cycle?
Scenario: One partner reacts to conflict with loud expressions of anger, seeking to be heard and validated. The other, feeling overwhelmed by this intensity, withdraws or walks away to find solace in silence. This withdrawal fuels the other's anger, leading them to raise their voice in an attempt to break through the silence. The cycle continues, with each action intensifying the other's pain, leaving both feeling misunderstood and isolated. Sound familiar?

I believe that by understanding and breaking this Pain Cycle, couples can develop the competency to resolve conflict with compassion. Effective conflict resolution is the very foundation of a healthy relationship. On a daily basis, I see relationships crippled by this very issue. In order to help more couples conquer the Pain Cycle and reinforce their foundation, I have created a short, easy-to-implement online course. My hope is that this resource will assist you to break free from the Pain Cycle and move forward in connection. ❤

Course Name:
"Hearing each other AGAIN".

Goal: Unravelling your Pain Cycle, feel heard and understood, Experience a new level of connection

Who will benefit?
All couples in a committed relationship. This course focuses on understanding both yourself and your partner. For this reason the skills you'll gain will be invaluable for your relationships in general.

Course Material:
Theory, Practical Worksheets, Tools to identify Attachment Style, Pain Beliefs and Conflict Stances

Delivery:
Online platform, Self-paced, Ongoing Access

Outcomes:
✔️ Understanding all the dynamics of YOUR Pain Cycle
✔️ Identify your Attachment Styles
✔️ Identify you Pain Beliefs
✔️ Identify your Conflict Stance
✔️ Change your Pain Cycle into a NEW Cycle of Connection
✔️ Feel Heard and Understood
✔️ Experience a New Level of Connection
✔️ Continue to come back to the material as you practice your new skills and when you face periods of disconnection

In the second article of a series on conflict resolution, I provide an overview of the Pain Cycle.

👉 Check the link in the comments to read more.

21/03/2024

I am happy to announce that my new online couples course "Hearing each other Again" is now available.

Calling all couples!
Whether you have been together for years or just started your journey, having the awareness and skills to respond to conflict, instead of reacting out of pain, is a relationship super power. 💪

As a seasoned therapist with extensive experience in guiding couples through the complexities of their relationships, I understand the transformative power of effective conflict resolution. This understanding is at the heart of why I've created this course — to empower you and your partner to strengthen your bond through improved communication and understanding.

This course delves into the essentials of conflict resolution, exploring the deep-seated reasons behind disagreements and providing practical strategies for overcoming them. Through a focused examination of Attachment Patterns, Pain Beliefs, and Survival or Conflict Stances, you will gain insights into the Pain Cycle that perpetuates conflict and disconnection.

By participating in "Hearing Each Other Again," you are taking a significant step toward enriching your relationship. This course is designed to help you:

🔹 Navigate conflicts with empathy and compassion.
🔹 Transform pain beliefs and conflict stances into positive forces.
🔹 Deepen your connection, fostering a relationship based on mutual understanding and respect.

Each module includes a practical worksheet to apply what you've learned, ensuring that insights translate into real-world changes in your relationship.

Hearing each other AGAIN is self-paced online course and accessible at any time.

Take your time with the content, commit to the process and keep coming back to the worksheets. Remember, a healthy relationship is a journey of continuous growth.
Love and kindness
Louis



➡️ More information: https://coupleshelpathome.com/course/hearing-each-other-again

19/03/2024

Is constant arguing pushing you and your partner apart? Feeling unheard can damage even the strongest bond. In a series of articles on effective conflict resolution, I explore the transformative power when a couple develops the Competency of Compassionate Conflict Resolution and how this skill can deepen your connection. ❤️

Take a look at the first of the series here:
https://www.coupleshelp.co.za/post/hearing-each-other-again-mastering-conflict-resolution-for-deeper-love

In the Dance of Love, the Missteps of ConflictEvery love story encounters moments that test its strength. These aren't the passionate embraces or shared laughter, but the disagreements and conflicts. It's when one partner's plea for understanding meets the other's silence, or both voices rise in fru...