Heart Matters Counselling

05/07/2025

05/06/2025

14/05/2025

The joys of parenting Neurodiversity!
Have a wonderful Wednesday ☺️

13/05/2025

It’s easy to spot what needs fixing. But real growth happens when we pause to see what’s already blooming.

Our children are constantly looking to us for a sense of who they are — and if all they hear is what’s wrong, they’ll start to believe that’s all there is.

Validation isn’t spoiling; it’s nourishing.

Let’s be just as vocal about their strengths, their efforts, and the moments they try…

Because what we water, grows. ❤️

07/05/2025

Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is pause and say,
“I need help.”
That’s where healing begins.

30/04/2025

Recognize what belongs to you and what doesn't. 🌱💪

14/04/2025

10/04/2025

When we, as parents, learn to regulate our emotions, we’re doing so much more than taking care of ourselves. We’re creating a home where our kids can feel safe, understood, and ready to navigate their own emotions.

Every time we pause, breathe, and respond with calm, we’re modeling emotional resilience. And our kids are watching, learning, and absorbing it all.

This kind of emotional wealth doesn’t just benefit us—it lasts for generations. It’s the greatest gift we can give our children.

01/04/2025

Kindness doesn’t rule out personal safety, nor the other way around. Actually, kindness and boundaries go hand in hand. You can be warm, compassionate, and understanding while still protecting your time, energy, and well-being. True kindness includes self-respect—because when you are kind to yourself and honor your own limits, you teach others to do the same.

Sign up for my latest workshop, all about finding freedom from people pleasing through loving but firm boundaries at boundaries.me/freedom.

25/02/2025

With so much of kids' time spent in an academic setting, where they are acutely reminded of their learning challenges, it can be difficult for kids to see themselves the same way their parents see them. And that can take a toll on their self-confidence and, even deeper than that, their self-concept. Here are a few ways to help kids with a learning disorder build confidence.

First, listen to self-talk
Many kids worry, 'If I fail this test, will I disappoint my parents? Will they still love me?' Help kids reframe their thoughts with positive feedback. If a child says, "I'm so stupid" during math homework, respond with: "I don't think you're stupid at all. I see you working carefully, and we just did activities where you showed fluency. That tells me you're doing great work."

Reframe thinking about challenges
When kids feel less smart for using tools like extra test time, you might compare it to needing glasses-everyone has different needs. Discourage peer comparisons and encourage self-awareness. Parents should explain their child's diagnosis, emphasizing that it's not about intelligence but understanding how they learn.

Praise the process
Praise effort over grades, focusing on problem-solving and persistence. Fostering a growth mindset-valuing effort over perfection-helps kids reach their goals. Success isn't the focus; growth is. Knowing their best is enough builds confidence.

Encourage personal growth
Encourage growth in academics and beyond by exploring activities where they can shine, like sports, music, art, or volunteering. Consider their executive functioning and sensory needs; for example, kids with ADHD or autism may thrive in individual sports like gymnastics or martial arts rather than team sports.

Foster a sense of belonging
Help kids feel valued by involving them in family and community activities. Encourage meaningful contributions at home, social connections outside school, and community engagement through volunteering or faith-based programs. These experiences build confidence, foster friendships, and develop leadership skills outside of academic success.

February is Boost Self-Esteem Month. Here are more of our resources for helping kids develop healthy self-esteem and confidence:
https://childmind.org/topics/confidence-and-self-esteem/