Michelle van As Therapist

31/10/2025

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31/10/2025

💔

31/10/2025

🌸

29/10/2025

ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT 🖤

Anxious attachment is not your personality.

It’s your nervous system’s memory of what it felt like to be left behind. It’s the body remembering that love once came and went without warning, that safety wasn’t consistent, that connection sometimes meant pain.

Anxious attachment is fear of abandonment.

But it was never your fault that you were abandoned.

You were just a child trying to make sense of love that wasn’t safe, or consistent, or available when you needed it most. You learned to cling, to overgive, to perform, because that was the only way to stay close to the people you depended on.

Somewhere along the way, you started believing that you were the problem. That if you were more calm, more pretty, more smart, more good, they would have stayed.

You made yourself the bad character in your story. But you weren’t the bad character in your story. The people who abandoned you were. You were just the one who learned to survive it.

And that survival pattern turned into a way of loving, anxiously, fully, desperately trying to prove your worth through someone else’s approval.

You became hyper-aware of tone, timing, and distance. You started reading silence as rejection. You felt safest when you were fixing. But none of that was love. It was fear, trying to keep you safe from being left again.

The moment you realize that you were never the problem, everything begins to change.

You stop trying to earn love and start allowing it. You stop chasing safety in other people and begin creating it in yourself. You stop doing “the work” to become more lovable, and start seeing that you always were.

Healing anxious attachment isn’t about learning new strategies or communication tools. It’s about remembering that you were never broken.

You were protecting yourself in the only way you knew how. And now, as an adult, you get to rewrite the story.

You don’t need to prove you’re worth staying for.

You already are.

28/10/2025

FOETAL ALCOHOL SPECTRUM DISORDER

27/10/2025

27/10/2025

Children look to parents on 'how to do life'😳

27/10/2025

High Functioning Depression 🩷🌸🩷