Eloise Spengler Counselling Psychologist

07/11/2023

"Did you lose weight?" By Haley Jakobsen

12/08/2023

♥️

25/07/2023

09/07/2023

One of the most common themes in music and movies is that chasing after someone is the foundation of love.

The excitement, the pressure, and the fighting for love becomes an emotional roller coaster. We’re deeply conditioned to view this as romantic or noble.

Mature love is steady love.

It honors our autonomy.

It gives people choice.

It says I honor you as an adult capable of making decisions, and I have the self trust to allow you to choose me. Or to not choose me.

It knows that after the rush, after the chase, and after the chemical hormonal processes of the body: life will exist.

And that life will mean we’ll need to learn each other. How to navigate life together. How to navigate conflict. And how to learn to both give and take.

Mature love is a conscious choice, not a pressured action

09/07/2023

Rachel, 28 prides herself on being honest.

She grew up in a home with a very blunt mother. Her mom had no filter and everyone always knew how she felt. Rachel developed the same habit. She had no issue telling you how she felt or what she thought.

When she meets Kai, she engages in her same pattern of brutal honesty. She holds nothing back when they move in together and says: “you’re a slob and I can’t live this way. I will not take care of another adult. You need to pull your weight.”

Kai feels hurt. He’s sensitive and voices that how hurt he is.

Rachel is caught off guard because she’s uncomfortable with vulnerability. “Im sorry but it’s the truth. Do you want me to lie?” Is her response.

Kai appreciates her honesty but wishes she was aware of how the way she spoke impacted others.

Rachel isn’t aware that her honesty has fractured every relationship she’s had. She uses it to protect herself. She tells herself “people just can’t handle the truth!” because she tears being vulnerable enough to reflect on her behavior.

She hasn’t learned the skill of communicating a message that allows a person to feel valued and understood.

She clings to her version of honesty that allows her to feel both “right” and in control

06/05/2023

06/03/2023

Great ideas if you are wanting to support someone in need but don't know how. Avoid fixing mode.

03/02/2023

03/02/2023

Making friends in adulthood can be challenging.

Making friends as an adult can feel like a baffling obstacle course. Why was it so much easier to connect as kids? To help you find well-rounded and fulfilling friendships, psychologist Marisa Franco discusses science-backed tips on how to make (and keep) friends, like the optimism-inducing "accepta...

30/11/2022

More boundary scripts 👇🏼

I sometimes find as a recovering ‘fawner’/people pleaser that the boundary scripts and advice are too ‘harsh’ sounding for me and my personality.

⭐️ It’s okay to bring gentleness, softness or humour into boundary setting.

👉🏼 Sometimes this is enough. Sometimes we end up having to get more rigid with it - and we can learn how to do that 👇🏼

My next masterclass is on Boundaries - this seems the perfect time of year for it as we often:
- struggle with boundaries around family members: the things they say or do, the topics that arise etc
- struggle to keep boundaries with ourselves and keep the promises we make to ourselves as we fall back into old patterns (especially easy to do when triggered around holidays and family)
- find ourselves drained as we absorb the energy of others (we need energetic boundaries)

⭐️ if you would like to explore these themes and work in your boundaries then nan an early bird ticket 🎟️
Save $10 with a ticket for just $19 while early bird lasts

🔗 Register through the link in my bio or in the classes tab of my website www.journeytowellness.online

27/11/2022

Boundaries are important.

27/11/2022

I shared this on Twitter and so many people resonated, so I’ll leave the comments open for sharing.

I’ll be in there gifting copies of , too

02/09/2022

Wisdom. It's a journey. TherapyRoute.com