Connection-Communication

29/07/2025

Yho!

14/06/2025

Happy Father's Day to all the dads, uncles and grandpas walking the journey with children who are still learning to connect and to communicate. You are appreciated💛

12/06/2025

Fathers, uncles and grandpas 🔌

28/04/2025

When does self-confidence begin? Perhaps we trust others first, until we can see it for ourselves.

An interesting study of 8-month-olds showed they trusted the memory of another more than themselves, for remembering where an object was located. However, with a repeated study of 12-month-olds, shows them transitioning to be less affected by the perspective of others and would trust their own memory or attentional focus instead.

The study showed that perhaps around the age of one year, when babies begin to be mobile for themselves, they begin to trust their own judgement over others. Until then, they must take another’s word for it.

Self-confidence, scientifically speaking, means a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities and judgment. From a very early age babies begin to establish self-confidence from the trust of another.

How do you build self-confidence in children?

Focus on positive praise--accurately
🧡Use encouraging language that focuses accurately on their strengths without inflation.
🧡Offer specific praise for their efforts and achievements over things they cannot control.

Encourage independence
🧡Allow children to make choices and decisions that are appropriate for their age.
🧡When things do not turn out the way children have desired, discuss how it would apply to future decisions.
🧡Encourage them to try new things and explore their interests.
🧡Provide opportunities for them to complete tasks on their own so they can experience the feeling of success from its completion.

Teach problem-solving skills
🧡Encourage them to think through challenges and find solutions within their own control.
🧡Guide them in breaking down tasks into manageable steps.
🧡Praise their efforts in tackling problems, regardless of the outcome.

Set realistic expectations separate from others
🧡Set achievable goals that match the child’s developmental level.
🧡Help them understand that making mistakes is a part of learning.

Create a supportive environment of growth mindset process over product
🧡Provide a safe and loving environment where they feel valued and understood regardless of achievement.
🧡Be a good role model by demonstrating self-confidence and resilience to setbacks.
🧡Spend quality time with them, showing that they are important to you.
🧡Emphasise the value of effort and perseverance over innate ability.

Overall, we can continue to build the self-confidence of our children by continuing to be a parent that can be trusted and reliable in our own words and actions.

Want more on teaching kids' resilience? Check out our article here: https://neuro.now/lived_experience/heros-journey-teaches-kids-resilience/

References:
https://neurosciencenews.com/altercentric-bias-neurodevelopment-23570/?fbclid=IwAR3GTGsRwd40TXDLmbV11nfV6SGtqBCNtHUyu9RI29qinZFxDLry7IxSIvs

https://childmind.org/article/12-tips-raising-confident-kids/

https://aghope.org/en/blog/self-esteem-building-a-childs-confidence-and-success?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw-ai0BhDPARIsAB6hmP6GcH6SeiHJ883H0J4962u-A-F0xDl6YT9lPHHbf3Grrtx9WqQCY3caAvo7EALw_wcB

19/04/2025

ASD tiredness by Abi James

“Why am I always tired?”

🧠 Autistic folks use up to 42% more cognitive energy and neural resources when doing everyday tasks and partaking in social settings

🧠 Masking is linked to higher rates of exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. One study found that people who mask more frequently report higher levels of psychological distress. In another study, 70% of autistic adults said masking had a negative impact on their mental health

Research by the National Autistic Society UK and study by Hull et al. (2017)

🧠 Autistic folks often process social cues consciously, not intuitively which requires a lot more cognitive energy

🧠 A 2020 study found that autistic adults reported social interactions as one of the top contributors to daily fatigue. A good example of why social interactions can be exhausting is because autistic individuals often have to script conversations or self-monitor continuously in social settings.

🧠 Autistic brains show heightened activity in the sensory areas, especially in response to sound and visual stimuli. Neuroimaging studies show increased connectivity and responsiveness in sensory regions of the brain

Study - Robertson & Baron-Cohen, 2017

🧠 Austistic folks often have reduced ability to “tune out” background noise, flickering lights, or repetitive sensations in the same way others do which basically means the brain has a hard time of shutting off

Study - Green et al., 2015

🧠 Switching tasks isn’t just annoying for Autistic folks, it’s draining. It can cost 30–50% more mental effort to transition between activities

These are just a few examples of why it is common for Autist folks to feel more exhausted than their NT counterparts, or need more rest.

Do you relate to these examples?

Would you add anything?

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19/04/2025

Young children are still developing the brain structures and skills needed for emotional awareness and language. When they feel something big—like anger, fear, or sadness—it often shows up through their bodies and behaviors: crying, tantrums, shutting down, or even physical complaints like tummy aches.

They’re not being manipulative or dramatic—they’re dysregulated. And their “acting out” is actually a cry for connection and co-regulation.

As parents, our role isn’t to stop the feeling—it’s to help our kids feel safe while they feel it. Over time, with support, they learn the words and tools they need to express emotions more clearly.

Hold space first. Teach skills second. Connection always comes before correction.

More on this in my book, Guidance from The Therapist Parent—available on my website www.thetherapistparent.com and on Amazon.

06/03/2025

There's always a reason behind behaviour🌻

There is so much more to behaviour than most people think. Children don’t try to upset us, there is usually something behind it. They are communicating their need through behaviour. If we look behind the behaviour we can see a child who is doing the best they can

More information in my book

Guidance from The Therapist Parent

Available on my website www.thetherapistparent.com and Amazon

06/03/2025

Contact details for Childline South Africa⬇️📍

06/03/2025

Can't go wrong with play🌻

I have a reverence for how play helps young children manage stress. It's amazing how the play theme finds the child's concerns somehow.
I always have versions of colorful medical kits in my playroom that kids pull out again and again. In the pretend play, questions are asked and answered. A lovely road map if you're not sure where to start is a new book by my friends & , The Way of Play 🪆

09/10/2024

Responsive Parenting Inspirations 💕

07/10/2024

Here's your plug for Mental Health Awareness month 🌱🫶

28/09/2024

💜🫡🔥✨