10/01/2026
4 DIGITS...
I don't write long stories often but today I cannot help but spill some stuff.
In my 8 years of recovery, never has the start of a year given me such alot to think about.
This week in particular has been a tough one for so many reasons, riddled with life and death. New beginnings and endings to other things.
But the final gut shot today caused anger, disappointment, deep sadness, worry and wonder. 4 DIGITS.
I was at the gravesite of a friend. A fellow recovery journeyman whose life was cut short by health issues unrelated to addiction.
I could still compose myself during the service and whilst the coffin was lowered. But after that I felt I needed a moment and stood aside. Then I saw it. Many, too many Graves with no names, just 4 digits. Other Graves had names at least and other beautiful tombstones.
But the 4 digits hit me. Who where they? Where were their people when life ended? Did they have people when they still had life? How old were they when it ended? But the most important one - were they loved?
I felt like I wanted to go back in time and find that person and love them just in case. I wanted to find their families and shout and scream at them for just leaving 4 digits where a life lived lay.
I had to walk away soon thereafter leave the proceedings, but the questions and anger remained.
The question over meaning of life came up as it would, and as always the answer for me would be significance rather than success. Family and friends over furtunes.
I am disappointed that we only care about life when death comes knocking. I am going to be better.
For those around me, please let's ensure that none of us or our people are just digits. 4 freaken DIGITS. Sies.
To my fallen comrade, thank you that your passing over has shown me so much today.
To my journeyman in recovery, please know that if there is still breath in our lungs, we have time to change our 4 digits into names, names to be remembered!
To the digits, you meant alot today, for that you are remembered.
