Bernice Schilling - Mind Activation Specialist

13/11/2025

Letter from Hypertension

Hello my Friend,

It’s been a while since you found out I’ll be sharing your life.
I am very invasive and, I don’t always appear in your everyday life. The people around you can’t see or hear me, but your body can. I can attack you anywhere and in any way you can imagine. Like a headache or a little blurry vision or some chest pain for fun.
Remember when you had high energy and had so much fun! Well sometimes I share your energy and leave you exhausted. I can make you sleepy, confused, or I can cause insomnia. I can cause pulsations in your neck, heart palpitations, even nose bleeds. I am like a silent disease in your body

I am very complicated….

I can make you feel extremely anxious or create panic attacks if I really want to have a little extra fun. Do you remember the sudden mood changes….yip that was me….sad for no reason……me…..upset for no reason…me.

I have no limits or boundaries.

The irony is that it was you that invited me in.
You can be so confused about how to go about finding happiness and the stress in your family life has left you feeling unsafe and now you do not know when to be on guard and when to relax.
You could not set clear boundaries. When you felt powerless in your circumstances or controlled by your circumstances, your suppressed anger often surfaced to express boundaries. All the pressure that you have put on yourself to be better than before has opened the door for me to come in.

You don’t know this, because it’s buried very deep but you have made a negative connection with love and if you do not grief the lack of love you sometimes feel and stop resenting the chaotic circumstances that life has presented to you in the past, well then I might just stay a little longer.

You are blind to the simple fact that I can stay as long as I want, or until you learn to stop doing all of these things. Instead you choose activities like walking or exercising to get me out, but that will only calm me down. I know you started treatments and check-ups to get rid of me, but they only help me relax.

Here is a tip, if you do not allow people to support you or you keep on inviting the wrong kind of love in, that feels so good, but inside they are just a safe option to keep you from expressing your true feelings, then I can also make your cholesterol high, or just make you feel so tired that your friends and family will become tired of hearing how bad you feel day after day. But they don’t know that I deplete your energy. Energy that your body and mind need daily to carry out activities.

They won’t understand you because I attack your body from the tips of your hair to the tips of your toes.
So don’t stop the pills you are taking every morning, as they relax your blood vessels that I like to tense up. Although I don’t really like them that much, but I know it makes you feel better.
If only you could see that your self-criticism and the pressure you put on yourself, leaves you feeling vulnerable and raw.

Lots of Love

Hypertension

13/11/2025

Why Your Relationship Changes After Commitment

(And How to Stay in Your True Masculine or Feminine Role)

You know that electric, effortless phase when you first start dating? Everything flows. You’re confident, grounded, and fully you. Then… commitment happens. And suddenly, the vibe shifts. One of you starts chasing. The other pulls away. What went wrong?
Nothing is broken. You’re just slipping out of your true masculine or feminine role—and into old patterns you didn’t even know you had.
________________________________________
What Does “True Masculine/Feminine Role” Actually Mean?
It’s not about gender. It’s about energy—the roles we naturally play when we’re secure, whole, and happy within ourselves.

True Masculine/Feminine Role Out of Role (Wounded Energy)
* Puts own happiness first * Ties joy to partner’s mood
* Self-sufficient & content * Needs constant reassurance
* Shares dreams, doesn’t build * Puts partner on a pedestal
life around partner
* Attracts & inspires * Chases & controls

A person in their true role doesn’t carry anyone else’s happiness. They invite a partner to walk beside them—not behind or ahead.

Why the Shift Happens After Commitment
Your brain doesn’t see “boyfriend/girlfriend.” It sees “family.”
The moment you picture a future together, your subconscious pulls up every file labeled “How relationships should work”—straight from childhood.
• Dad was distant → You over-give to “earn” love.
• Mom was controlling → You monitor texts to feel safe.
• Past partner ghosted → You change yourself to “fit.”
These aren’t conscious choices. They’re survival strategies from unhealed wounds.

The Chasing Trap: How It Shows Up
You Do This
* Check when they’re online
Subconscious Fear
* “What if I’m not enough?”
Partner Feels
* Watched, trapped

You do this.
* Scroll their socials daily
Subconscious Fear
* “Who else are they talking to?”
Partner Feels
* Invaded

You do this.
* Change your likes to match theirs
Subconscious Fear
*“Will they leave if I’m too different?”
Partner Feels
* Inauthenticity

You do this
* Over-give, over-text, over-plan
Subconscious Fear
* “If I do more, they’ll stay”
Partner Feels
* Smothered

Chasing = Running. The more you pursue, the faster they retreat. Not because they don’t care—but because your energy screams: “I need you to fix me.”
_
The Pasta Metaphor (Yes, Really)
Imagine eating pasta with a friend: relaxed, enjoyable. Now imagine eating it after 6 days lost in the desert. Same pasta. Totally different energy.
That’s neediness vs. desire. When you’re emotionally starved (from childhood or past relationships), even normal affection feels like starvation. You devour it. And your partner? They feel consumed.

The Pedestal Problem
Ever put your partner on a pedestal? Congrats—you just became their fan. And fans don’t get reciprocity. They get autographs, not partnership.
Celebrities don’t date their fans. They perform for them.

How to Stay in Your True Role (And Attract the Same)
1. Heal the Root
Ask: “Where did I learn I had to earn love?”
Journal it. Therapy it. Feel it. Release it.
2. Fill Your Own Cup Your happiness is your job.
Build the business. Chase the dream. Dance alone in your kitchen. A full cup overflows—it doesn’t drain others.
3. Stop Carrying Their Emotions
Their bad day ≠ your failure. Their silence ≠ your rejection.
4. Trust,
Don’t Chase Magnetism attracts. Control repels.

The Truth No One Says
If you’re not in your true role, you’ll either:
• Attract someone who needs to be fixed, or
• Push a healthy partner away—because you changed the energy.
They didn’t “change.” You triggered the shift.

Your Invitation
Next time you feel the urge to text again, check their Instagram, or “fix” their mood—pause.
Ask:
“Am I acting from love… or from fear?”
Choose love. Choose you. And watch how the right person stops running— and starts walking with you.

P.S. If you’re exhausted from holding it all together, it’s not burnout. It’s your soul saying:
“Come home to yourself.”
You don’t need to earn love. You need to remember you already are it.
Save this. Share it. Live it.

28/04/2025

The highest intimacy we can find is neither touch or or**sm, it is comprehension.

There is nothing more intimate than to be understood as well as understanding one another and having our intellectual and imaginative faculties completely aligned and met. The most beautiful thing about a person is never in the what we can see, feel or otherwise sense with our bodies. But it is what we can sense with our minds and hearts.

To be so completely understood in the depth of our being like no other can offer. That is true intimacy. That is the basis for tremendous growth. We have to be able to dive deep together in consciousness for our intimacy to reach incredible heights.

Otherwise we will plateau in our partnerships and not keep rising. This is when one or both partners outsources their thoughts and feelings to a third party in order to have unmet needs met and this is when intimacy fails.

Seek not so much someone who entices the eye, but seek someone who entices the mind.
Who ignites your search for intellectual riches and go in search of someone who shows not only deep compassion, but also deep comprehension.

There is no greater intimacy than that of two people who can unravel mysteries together that nobody else could even comprehend with either of them.

This is when the spiritual heart feels fulfilled. She may be stunning and yes that is lovely,
but her beautiful mind is something I treasure more than a set of gorgeous eyes and a perfect body. A mind able and willing to travel beyond the frontiers of human consciousness as we expand past the firmament, now that is a whole other level of sexy.~

~ Ulf Haukenes

27/01/2025

10/11/2024

She hasn’t had the easiest life- just the opposite, in fact.
She’s never had anything given to her and everything that she has and the person she is..
Well, she’s fought and clawed her way through the hardest times to have it, become it.
She’s seen darkness that most would never understand and been at rock bottom in ways most will never see.
But yet, she’s still here, still standing..
Still strong.
She’s never asked for a handout and she’s earned everything she has ever had.
So, when you meet this gritty yet hopeful soul, know that you may never understand the depths of her,
For she’s paid a price so powerful that would shatter the will of almost anyone else..
But yet, she still smiles through the pain, laughs through the tears and keeps doing whatever she has to do for her happiness.
She’s far from perfect and she has her fair share of bad days, but nothing will ever stop her from reaching her goals and catching her dreams.
She remains true to herself and always listens to her heart..
Even when she knows she shouldn’t.
Because this strong woman knows that she is led by her passion and driven by her purpose…
And she won’t accept anything less than giving herself and her life all that she has.
So, when you see her smiling confidently and owning who she is unapologetically, appreciate that, for becoming that person has taken all she has..her confidence, her courage and her fierce desire to always be herself is something to be admired and cherished…
For in an age where perfection is a chased illusion and being real is uncommon..
She is all of the things that remind us-
There’s nothing more gorgeous than a strong woman who owns her imperfection and flaws, confident in herself and always,
Free to be the person she chooses to be.
That’s the true essence of beauty.

10/11/2024

Maybe the real happy ending is falling in love with the simplest parts of life.

It’s savoring that first sip of coffee in the morning, or losing yourself in the smell of freshly baked bread. It’s driving down familiar roads with the windows down, letting the air mess up your hair while your favorite song fills the car. It’s lingering on a quiet afternoon, reading the pages of a book you’ve put off for too long, letting each word wrap around you like an old friend. These moments — the ones that seem so ordinary — hold a kind of magic that fills the cracks we sometimes forget are there.

And maybe, just maybe, it’s finding a piece of joy in small things we often take for granted. Like the laughter that comes out of nowhere, shared with a stranger in a grocery store aisle. Or the comfort of a cozy night at home, wrapped up in a blanket, watching a show you’ve seen a hundred times but still brings a smile to your face.

It’s these little things that pull us back to life, that remind us of just how blessed we are, not because everything is perfect but because we find beauty in what we already have.

08/10/2024

THE PERFECT STORM - Bernice Schilling
The Perfect Storm by Bernice Schilling is a compelling call to action for women trapped in unfulfilling relationships. In this eye-opening guide, she reveals the essential secrets to breaking free from toxic patterns and finding true happiness and love.
She fearlessly delves into the heart of male behavior, exposing the reasons behind their initial romantic gestures and subsequent changes.
In her bold and insightful style, she addresses why nice girls always get taken for granted by men and offers practical advice on breaking this destructive cycle.
In her book, she uses relatable real-life scenarios and shares her journey from abuse to freedom to empower women to understand what drives men to fall in love. She also sheds light on the damaging effects of trauma bonding and exposes the dangerous loyalty that keeps women trapped in toxic relationships.
THE AUTHOR
Bernice Schilling is an experienced professional in kinesiology, writing, teaching, motivational speaking, and intuitive healing. With over 20 years of experience in business management, marketing, finance, analytics, and psychology, she is dedicated to helping individuals unlock their full potential and achieve success in their personal and professional lives.
She emphasizes scientifically proven methods to enhance the mind and body, leading to increased opportunities and improved well-being. With a strong understanding of the human mind and body, she has positioned herself as a top personal development and transformational coach. Through her extensive one-on-one coaching, she has helped individuals from diverse backgrounds overcome self-sabotage and embrace their uniqueness. Additionally, she has extensively researched the mind-body connection and shares her expertise through her website at www.curetheroot.com. The website provides valuable insights and resources for improving overall quality of life. Her website is an invaluable resource for individuals seeking to improve their emotional well-being, mental health, and physical functioning.
ORDER HERE https://nskrywershuis.co.za/product/the-perfect-storm/
ISBN 978-1-0370-1009-5

I guide people from money stress to financial freedom by blending financial coaching with wellness; mindset & emotional trauma release. Break old patterns; create new habits & live with wealth; balance & confidence.

03/10/2024

"Here is a truth you often don’t hear: traumatized women have the potential to become the most powerful people in this world.
The most ignorant members of society call this type of woman “damaged.” But she is the most powerful type of woman there is. What they forget is that survivors have the most dangerous advantage of all: resilience.

When you try and you try but you can never bring a woman down, you’ll know there is no going back. Don’t fool yourself. You could never defeat her. You never will.

This is the woman who will always rise from the dead; Lady Lazarus, after going through hell and back. This is the woman who has burned her feet in the flames time and time again and always lives to tell another tale – even if she has to crawl back to life.

She was never given love or approval on a silver platter, so in order to survive, she had to love herself in a way others could only dream of. She fought tooth and nail for her own self-acceptance.

No one cuddled her as a child or told her pretty things; she had to fend for herself each step of the way. She knows she can survive because she already has and will again.

When someone tells her, “You can’t do it,” she says, “Watch me.”

She is fiery light birthed out of wintery darkness. Brought into the underworld by Hades, Persephone brings forth spring and rebirth when she reemerges finally from the cold.

She owns her shadows and seamlessly weaves them into the fabric of her freedom, creativity, imagination and independence.

All of her life, she was given every evidence of human cruelty and the evil people were capable of. She understood early on that the monsters people dreamed of existed in human skin.

She lived all of her nightmares in high definition. She was given every reason to give up, handed every justification to never believe in herself or anyone.

But there is raw magic in the ways in which she cultivates a faith in herself, to manifest the dreams her soul was meant to bring forth.

Despite it all, she still conquers.
She still survives and thrives. ⚡️

The “damaged” woman is capable of immense manifestation not just in spite of, but because of the traumas she has gone through.
There is no one more motivated than a woman who has constantly been told what she cannot do or who she cannot be throughout her lifetime.

There is no one more determined to succeed than someone who has nothing left to lose.
The “damaged” woman doesn’t sign up for the hardships of her journey – but she plays the hell out of the cards she’s been dealt.

The “damaged” woman is not damaged at all – she is wounded, and in channeling and healing her wounds, she becomes the source of incredible energy, the site of unbelievable potential for abundance and change.

She possesses the power to use her wounds for the greater good and her highest good.
She builds her own success and becomes her own rugged hero; tends to her own scraped knees.

She uses every stone thrown at her to build the foundation for her empire. Brick by brick she builds – and despite every attempt to tear her walls down, she rescues herself again and again.

Despite it all, this type of survivor may still face hatred, envy, greed from those around her. They try to tell her she is too damaged to soar. See, when the women society call too “damaged” perform better than those who never were, it tends to upset the status quo.

As a result, she becomes the survivor of countless witch hunts, the target of many persecutors. Yet when they try to burn her at the stake, she does what comes naturally: she resurrects herself. After all, nobody suspects that it is the wounded woman who has more power inside of her than the bullies who appear to overpower her.

They laugh and ridicule the mute warrior, the one who seems to never fight back.
But here’s the thing about this type of woman: she observes. She learns how to pick and fight her own battles. Her spirit may be broken, but it is relentless. She perseveres, bit by bit. She takes it all in.

Perhaps she stays voiceless for years. For her soul, it may seem like for centuries. This is an ancient wound, one that seems to follow her from generation to generation. Yet at some point, it comes time for her soul to fight back in order to survive. It comes time for her to rise.

She stays silent for so long that when she finally speaks, the world erupts and cracks wide open.
Her pent-up magnificent energy, born and bred in the pressure cooker that she calls life – is that of lightning.

Where once hopelessness was her default, now abundance becomes her birthright.
Where once she was timid, she now unleashes thunder in every action and word that she wields like a sword – and with it, she always brings a storm.

Now when she creates, she creates new worlds and transforms and manifests on a level that cannot be recreated by someone who never had to struggle to survive.

When you hear the voice of a powerful survivor and the will of a warrior – there is nothing you can do but to stop and listen. She is the voice of a million lifetimes lived.

She is the voice of the hopeless and the powerless when the fire is brought back to their eyes. She is the harbinger of the justice that the voiceless have longed to hear and feel and touch.

Regardless of how much you try and how it may seem, you can never truly bring a survivor like this to her knees; she already knows the value her scars bring.

She knows how to fill the cracks between her wounds with gold.

She knows how to transform each bitter word cast upon her into an iron-clad will that will set her and other caged birds free.

You can’t ever defeat a “damaged” woman, because she knows exactly how to save herself."

Written by Shahida Arabi

24/09/2024

The Wisdom Of Letting Go

Be like a tree, and let the old leaves fall,
In their fading, find wisdom for us all.
To cling too tightly brings sorrow and pain,
But in letting go, there’s so much to gain.

The past may weigh heavy, but it’s not ours to keep,
Release it gently, and your soul will sleep deep.
Like branches stretching toward the sky,
We grow when we’re unafraid to say goodbye.

For every leaf that drops, new buds appear,
Change is a cycle we needn’t fear.
In shedding the weight of what’s no longer true,
We make space for the light, for growth that’s new.

Let go of regret, let go of fear,
In every ending, fresh beginnings are near.
Like the tree in winter, stripped bare and cold,
Know that in time, new stories unfold.

In life, we learn not all can remain,
But through each loss, we break free from the chain.
The winds may blow, the storms may roar,
Yet, by letting go, we stand even more.

Hold onto hope, not the things that must fade,
In this lesson, the path of peace is laid.
For the leaves that drop will nourish the ground,
And in their falling, true strength is found.


True strength lies not in holding on, but in knowing when to let go. Life’s beauty is found in accepting change, embracing growth, and trusting that what’s meant for you will find its way.