19/02/2025
Jude came into the kitchen for the 450th time today looking for food. I told him it was dinner time and he smiled.
I took a pizza out of the freezer, showed him the box, which he tapped for yes and let out a loud happy hum.
He made his way back into the annexe and waited.
From his bedroom window he can see into the kitchen, where he watches me make dinner. He dances back and forth with his iPad whilst he waits, keeping an eye on me too. I give him a happy flap back every now and again when we catch each others eye, my way of reassuring him it’s on its way.
Just before it’s ready I go out to him and ask him to pass me his drink, making a drinking action with my hands at the same time. He looks around the room, finds it and hands it over to me. I go back to make his juice, cut up his dinner and take it out to the annexe.
Jude smiles, and dives straight in. Within a couple of minutes he’ll be back by my side, wanting to see what’s on my plate and grabbing any extra food he can. It’s become a routine that has to be satisfied, no matter how much I put on his plate.
He’ll go back and forth, I eat my dinner with about 5 interruptions, but all of our interactions are happy ones. For which I’m always grateful.
I’m able to talk to Jude a little more lately. Language has always been a confusing struggle for him. Even in the happiest moments we keep it short and soft. But talking to him about his dinner, asking him to get his drink and him showing he’s fully understood each time, that’s relatively new.
Something you’d expect a 16 year old to have mastered a long time ago. Tiny, everyday moments that most people would pay no attention to. Place little importance in.
But to us they’re everything. The small moments of joy we see each day. The happy flap, the attempt at a new food, the understanding of a new word, taking his own coat off. Tiny things. Special things.
At some point over the years I stopped worrying about the big milestones. The words that haven’t come, the exams that’ll never be sat, the experiences we’ve never had. And chosen to focus on the small moments.
Stopped focusing on what wasn’t happening and saw the beauty in the moments that are ❤️
