25/05/2026
OPEN HANDS & OPEN HEARTS & THE GIFT OF OUR FEELING DEPTH 🤍
Challenging times and challenging for me to recognize lately as external circumstances been dragging from all sides and coming up for air seems so so far away. It has been incredibly challenging to meet myself with presence. DING DING. Exactly where my needs lately don’t seem to be met externally is where I am not meeting myself internally. ALWAYS. But it sucks nonetheless.
I miss my people. I miss my girls & boys that are THERE in presence. I miss them close for coffee dates and bonfires. I miss dancing & dressing up for festivals. Which brings me to grief. (past lives) Lots and lots and lots and lots of grief has been slammed in my face.
Just as I was contemplating on my walk this morning I recognized the swamp of grief I have been trying to move out from. Heavy feet from all the muddddd - no more smoking to bypass all that’s transitioned into thin air.
Grief. Someone very dear to my heart passed unexpectedly last week & it hit me at a depth I wasn’t expecting.
Grief is heavy, grief is painful, nobody wants to grieve but everybody one day has to. And we constantly grieve even what’s still alive. Might not be aware of it but it’s always there. The loss of missed opportunity, „the could haves - maybe I should have“… old love, old friendships, old versions of the self. „back when it was easy“ … back when (insert story)… The gift of being alive is having emotions — of feeling to this depth. If you have worked with p$ychedelics you know what „surrender“ means. If it gets really uncomfortable, if all the fears bubble up, all the terror shows up & your shadows take over — all you can do is let go. Release any control & literally „take the fckn ride.“
What if this thing we call life is exactly the same? Emotions simply want to be felt. They last about 90 seconds if you welcome them. Imagine that’s how „easy“ cleaning your heart, mind, body and spirit could be? Utter presence with the depth of your nature. FEELING.