Dragon Performance Coaching

22/01/2026

Throughout the entirety of this book, these are the questions we collectively and individually need to consider in order to discover hidden shadows:

- How do we support a new blueprint to build the modern masculine man?

- How do we support a man’s willingness to face his inner pain as the first step toward relief?

- How do we address the lack of masculine self-direction as our target?

- How do we address the rise in masculine self-deception as our target?

- How do we show that investing in an outdated false persona will never cure “not enoughness”?

- Thoughtful masculinity is the new target. How do we transform aggression so that it works in our favour rather than against ourselves and the world?

- How do we reduce unnecessary judgement of self and others as targets of false comparison?

- How do we address masculine loneliness and the need for emotional intelligence, resilience and acceptable boundaries?

- How do we address the reality that society wants men to be emotionally open, but when a man eventually opens up, society resists and abandons the open man because what they really want are hardened, closed men?

- How do we address the superficial criteria of traditional masculine attractiveness and sacrifice-for-others programming?

- How do we rediscover and implement traditional rites of passage, teaching men to embrace discomfort and stress as learning opportunities rather than avoiding or numbing?

- How do we observe our inner-looking process to allow it to inform itself and let us know we’re really doing our inner work?

- How do we address the cycle of abandonment trauma bonding as a key shadow trap that affects every man’s life?

- How do we address men becoming more isolated and less available to hide masculine vulnerabilities within our closest relationships?

- How do we encourage involving ourselves with other men by doing normal and meaningful things together?

- How do we reward men to call out negative masculine behaviour when they see it rather than letting it slide?

- How do we foster a deeper magnification of what’s considered healthy vs. negative masculinity when it’s required?

13/01/2026

27/11/2025

This is our reality

28/10/2025

For a man 40 and over who wants to live a better second half of life, dragon training shadow work is serious business

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For a man 40 and over who wants to live a better second half of life, dragon training inside marriage is serious businessGet your shadow quiz now: https://ka...

16/10/2025

Q: Does your book explore how to help men understand what is needed to hold space and allow for a woman's true femininity?

A: yes. it shows men how to become comfortable within themselves so they can let others have their own opinions and directions. it's all about men doing their inner work rather than outwardly projecting their insecurities

25/09/2025

Inside book sleeve content:

Do you ever feel trapped in a role you never consciously chose? Like you're performing masculinity according to a script written generations ago, leaving you disconnected from your true self and those you love? You're not alone. The Masculine Dilemma is the invisible force shaping every man's life – the relentless pressure to conform to the "Three P Rule" (Protect, Provide, Procreate) while burying vulnerability, ignoring inner pain, and chasing external validation at any cost.

Kaleo Selah, an Australian-American quality of life transition coach and industry pioneer, illuminates this hidden-in-plain-sight crisis. Like a goldfish unaware it's swimming in dirty water, most men don't recognise the toxic programming conditioning them to become the Institutionalised Man – emotionally repressed, isolated, and driven by comparison. This programming fuels cycles of youthful bypassing, where men age physically but avoid the hard work of emotional maturity, leading to the devastating pattern where the Saviour becomes the Victimiser who ultimately becomes the Victim.

The cost is staggering: fractured relationships, chronic stress, addiction, and a profound sense of emptiness masked by achievement. Society demands strength but punishes authenticity, creating men who are "successful" yet spiritually bankrupt, trapped in a prison of their own conditioning.

But there is a way out. *Unravelling the Masculine Dilemma* offers more than insight; it provides a roadmap to liberation. Selah guides you to recognise the masks of achievement you wear, confront the Shame-Blame-Guilt loop fueling your self-sabotage, and experience your Frankenstein Moment – the awakening to your own programming and the power to rewrite it.

This is your invitation to:
* Challenge the destructive beliefs instilled by society and family across generations.
* Take radical responsibility for your inner world and outer behaviour.
* Transform pain into purpose and comparison into genuine connection.
* Break free from the autopilot existence dictated by the "comparison-and-competition" economy.
* Embrace the difficult but vital journey of growing up emotionally, setting a powerful new example for younger men.

The Masculine Dilemma won't solve itself. Ignoring it guarantees more of the same – isolation, unfulfillment, and passing the pain to the next generation. The question isn't whether this dilemma affects you – it's whether you have the courage to face it, unravel it, and finally become the man you were meant to be.** Your journey to authentic masculinity starts here.

13/09/2025

front and back cover ready. one step forward

26/08/2025

Glossary term

Competition-Success-Final-Destination Trap: The “Competition-Success-Final-Destination Trap” refers to a societal construct that pressures men to relentlessly pursue ever-greater levels of success as a measure of worth. Within this trap, a man who achieves success must continue achieving more to maintain his “successful” status, creating a cycle where contentment and genuine fulfilment remain elusive. Regardless of external appearances, failure to escape this trap leads to a tragic internal demise, turning a man into an “empty shell” defined solely by achievements, until life itself forces a cessation of this outward quest. This mechanism of the Masculine Dilemma perpetuates disconnection from one’s authentic self and hinders the pursuit of a better second half as part of his Hero’s Journey, unless he consciously chooses to step off this path through self-reflection and an inwardly-focused personal perspective.

22/08/2025

Dragon parenting works

21/08/2025

The Masculine Dilemma is real. We are taking this seriously

A few months ago a journalist asked me some questions for an article about mid-life crisis in men. The following is my answers to the questions, with quotes used by the journalist in his article in italics.   Why do so many men struggle between the ages of 40 and 60? Is it psycholog

20/08/2025

Ultimately, the key to overcoming the Masculine Dilemma lies in the ability to connect with oneself and others in a deep and authentic way. Men must be willing to let go of the societal expectations and external factors that define success and, instead, focus on cultivating a sense of purpose and meaning in their lives. This requires a shift in mindset from one of competition, comparison and self-delusion to one of transparency, collaboration and connection. By embracing vulnerability, authenticity, and compassion, men can break free from the Masculine Dilemma and create a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

12/08/2025

**The Double Bind: How Modern Men Are Set Up to Fail**

Modern masculinity is a maze with no exit. Men today are caught in a double bind: punished for conforming to traditional roles, yet criticized for abandoning them. They’re told to "evolve" but given no clear map. The result? A generation of men walking a tightrope of expectations, where every step risks judgment.

**The Paradox of Power**
At work, men are expected to lead with authority—but not too much. Be decisive, but not domineering. Confident, but not arrogant. In a culture that demands inclusivity, masculine ambition is often reframed as "toxic." Meanwhile, men who opt out of leadership are labeled passive or uncommitted. They’re damned if they do, damned if they don’t.

**Relationship Whiplash**
In dating and partnerships, the contradictions deepen. Men are shamed for being emotionally distant ("Where’s your vulnerability?") but also penalized for being "too soft." They’re expected to initiate, plan, and provide—yet also to share power, listen deeply, and reject traditional gender roles. The message is confusing: *Lead, but don’t lead. Care, but don’t care too much.* Many retreat into silence or resentment, unsure how to connect authentically.

**The Victim Blaming Trap**
When men express frustration, they’re often met with dismissal: "Check your privilege." While male privilege is real, it doesn’t erase the psychic toll of impossible expectations. Men are told their struggles are self-inflicted—evidence of "fragility" rather than systemic pressure. This gaslighting isolates them further, pushing anger into online echo chambers where misogyny and defeatism fester.

**The Cultural Backlash**
Society celebrates the "new man"—sensitive, egalitarian, emotionally aware—but rarely provides the tools to become him. Boys are still raised on stoicism and competition, then thrown into a world that demands empathy and collaboration. No wonder so many feel like foreigners in their own lives. The backlash isn’t against progress; it’s against whiplash.

**Why This Isn’t a "Man Problem"**
The double bind isn’t a failure of individual men—it’s a failure of imagination. We’ve dismantled old scripts without writing new ones. We demand change but offer no grace for the process. Men are expected to shed generations of conditioning overnight, with no room for missteps.

**A Way Out?**
The solution starts with honesty. We must name the double bind:

- **Acknowledge the contradictions:** Stop pretending men can "have it all" in a system stacked against them.
- **Redefine strength:** It’s not about dominance or submission—it’s about integrity.
- **Create space for growth:** Men need safe places to unlearn, question, and fail without shame.
- **Challenge all-or-nothing thinking:** Masculinity isn’t binary. It’s a spectrum.

Men aren’t set up to fail because they’re inherently flawed—but because we’ve built a world that refuses to see them fully. Until we embrace nuance over absolutes, compassion over critique, and humanity over heroism, the double bind will keep tightening. And we’ll all pay the price.
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