Thrive with Ali Fleming

07/09/2025

🌟 Understanding Behaviour: Every Action Has a Purpose 🌟

As an Early Childhood Intervention Therapist, I know that behind every behaviour is a child trying to communicate something important. When we understand the "why" behind behaviours, we can support children more effectively.

💡 The Four Functions of Behaviour:
✨ Escape or Avoid - When children want to get away from something unpleasant (tantrums during homework, running away from loud environments)
✨ Gain Attention - Seeking connection or acknowledgement from adults or peers (calling out, disruptive behaviour when ignored)
✨ Gain Item or Activity - Wanting access to preferred things (asking repeatedly for toys, meltdowns when denied screen time)
✨ Sensory Input - Seeking specific physical sensations that feel good (rocking, spinning, avoiding certain textures)

Understanding these functions helps us respond with compassion rather than frustration. Instead of seeing "challenging behaviour," we see a child communicating their needs in the only way they know how.

When we address the underlying need - whether it's teaching coping skills, providing scheduled attention, offering choices, or creating sensory breaks - we empower children to communicate more effectively.

Every behaviour tells a story. Our job is to listen. 🌈💛

What behaviour patterns have you noticed in your child? Sometimes the key to support is understanding the message behind the action.

31/08/2025

🌟 Tiny Teachers with Feathers and Scales: How Animals Build Empathy in Little Hearts 🌟

When children hold something smaller and more fragile than themselves, magic happens. Our therapy space is deliberately filled with gentle creatures – not just for fun, but because animals are some of our most powerful empathy teachers.

🦎How our animal friends transform children's capacity for care:
• Learning gentleness through necessity – When a child holds a day-old chick, they must moderate their grip, slow their movements, and tune into the needs of another being. These are precisely the skills they need for human relationships.
• Reading non-verbal cues – Our chickens can't say "I'm scared" – children must learn to notice body language, retreat signals, and comfort signs. This translates beautifully to understanding peers who communicate differently.
• Responsibility that matters – Feeding worms to our bearded dragon isn't just a task – it's caring for a life that depends on you. Children discover what it means to be needed and trusted by another being.
• Patience in practice – When our broody hen didn't successfully hatch chicks, we talked about how sometimes learning takes practice. Children understood that failure is part of growth, even for mother hens.
• Safe relationship practice – Animals offer unconditional acceptance while children practice kindness, boundaries, and care. A child can try different approaches to connection without fear of judgment.
• Celebrating differences – Some children who struggle with human social cues find deep connection with animals. This builds their confidence and shows them they absolutely can form meaningful relationships.

I deliberately choose smaller, more delicate animals because children need opportunities to be the bigger, stronger, protective one. In a world where they're often the smallest, caring for tiny chicks gives them a chance to experience their own capacity for gentleness and strength. 💛

🐕 The empathy children develop through animal care doesn't stay with the animals – it flows into every relationship, every interaction, every moment of their lives.

How has your family experienced the magic of children caring for smaller creatures? Sometimes our greatest teachers come with wings, scales, or four tiny paws. 🐈

25/08/2025

🌟 When Arrows Create Magic: How Two Ideas Transform Into Something Nobody Expected 🌟

Recently, two children both drew volcanoes on their individual plans. But instead of building separate volcanoes, something extraordinary happened - their arrows led to the invention of the "pizza volcano," an idea that existed in neither of their original dreams.

↗️How simple arrows revolutionise creative collaboration:
• Beyond compromise to creation – This isn't about taking turns with your volcano, then my volcano. When children see their arrows connecting on paper, they discover they can birth entirely new ideas together. Today's volcano + pizza = something neither child imagined alone.
• Visual democracy in action – Those arrows aren't just lines - they're bridges between minds. When a child draws an arrow from their idea to their friend's, they're saying: "Let's create something bigger than both of us dreamed."
• The "yeah, and..." revolution – Instead of "No, but I want..." children learn "Yeah, and we could also..." This transforms potential conflict into collaborative innovation. Their combined imagination becomes exponentially more powerful.
• Negotiation as art form – "We both want to be the shopkeeper" becomes a design challenge: How do we create a world where this works? Children discover that problems can become the birthplace of creativity.
• From individual to collective genius – What started as separate muffin-making plans evolved into "mega-muffins" with cheese AND fruit. Neither child would have conceived this fusion alone, but together they invented something delightful.
• Learning flexible ownership – When ideas merge and transform, children learn that ownership can be shared, that their contributions matter even when the final creation looks different from their original vision.

This isn't just play-planning - it's teaching children that the most beautiful solutions often emerge not from my idea OR your idea, but from the magical space where ideas meet, dance, and become something entirely new. 💛

These arrow-connected collaborations are preparing children for every future creative endeavour - from school projects to workplace innovation to building families and communities.

How does your family practice turning "either/or" into "what if we tried..."? Sometimes the most amazing discoveries happen when we stop protecting our individual ideas and start celebrating our collective imagination. 🌱

10/08/2025

🌟 When Children Can't Find Their Words: Decoding the Messages Behind Behaviour 🌟

🌟 When Children Can't Find Their Words: Decoding the Messages Behind Behaviour 🌟

A child stomps their foot and demands I return immediately. Another makes a specific crying sound while holding their bottom. One pushes away gently when they need space. Every single action is communication – we just need to learn their language.

🗣️ Becoming fluent in the language of behaviour:
• The complaining sound – When a child makes that distinct whining noise, they're not "being difficult." They're saying: "I need something, but I don't have the words yet." Our job is to wonder: “what is your body trying to tell you?”
• The foot stomp – "I see you're stomping your foot, but I'm not sure what it means when you do that." This validates their attempt to communicate while teaching them that clearer messages will support in getting better responses.
• The gentle push-away – A non-verbal child pushing someone's hand away isn't being defiant – they're clearly saying, "I need space right now." This is actually beautifully clear communication! I work to support them to verbalise this communication, “I wonder what it means when your friend is pushing your hand away?”
• The repeated requests – When a child asks for their dummy repeatedly, they're not being demanding. They're communicating: "I need comfort," or "This situation feels overwhelming for my nervous system," or “I’m feeling unsure about your answer.”
• The avoidance dance – A child who suddenly can't find where to start isn't being difficult. They're saying: "This feels too big for me right now. I need smaller steps or more support."

The magic happens when we stop seeing challenging behaviours as problems to fix and start seeing them as messages to decode. When we respond to the communication rather than just the behaviour, everything changes.

Instead of "Stop doing that," we can say: "I can see you're trying to tell me something. Help me understand what you need." 💛

This doesn't mean accepting unsafe behaviours – it means understanding the message behind them so we can teach better ways to communicate those important needs.

How does your family decode the messages behind challenging moments? Sometimes our children's most difficult behaviours are actually their most honest communications. 🌱

10/08/2025

🌟 When Children Can't Find Their Words: Decoding the Messages Behind Behaviour 🌟

A child stomps their foot and demands I return immediately. Another makes a specific crying sound while holding their bottom. One pushes away gently when they need space. Every single action is communication – we just need to learn their language.

🗣️ Becoming fluent in the language of behaviour:
• The complaining sound – When a child makes that distinct whining noise, they're not "being difficult." They're saying: "I need something, but I don't have the words yet." Our job is to wonder: “what is your body trying to tell you?”
• The foot stomp – "I see you're stomping your foot, but I'm not sure what it means when you do that." This validates their attempt to communicate while teaching them that clearer messages will support in getting better responses.
• The gentle push-away – A non-verbal child pushing someone's hand away isn't being defiant – they're clearly saying, "I need space right now." This is actually beautifully clear communication! I work to support them to verbalise this communication, “I wonder what it means when your friend is pushing your hand away?”
• The repeated requests – When a child asks for their dummy repeatedly, they're not being demanding. They're communicating: "I need comfort," or "This situation feels overwhelming for my nervous system," or “I’m feeling unsure about your answer.”
• The avoidance dance – A child who suddenly can't find where to start isn't being difficult. They're saying: "This feels too big for me right now. I need smaller steps or more support."

The magic happens when we stop seeing challenging behaviours as problems to fix and start seeing them as messages to decode. When we respond to the communication rather than just the behaviour, everything changes.

Instead of "Stop doing that," we can say: "I can see you're trying to tell me something. Help me understand what you need." 💛

This doesn't mean accepting unsafe behaviours – it means understanding the message behind them so we can teach better ways to communicate those important needs.

How does your family decode the messages behind challenging moments? Sometimes our children's most difficult behaviours are actually their most honest communications. 🌱

03/08/2025

I wonder... The question all educators need to ask.

🌟 "I Wonder..." The Two Most Powerful Words in Child Development 🌟

When a child is struggling, our first instinct might be to fix, direct, or correct. But what if the most therapeutic response is simply: "I wonder what's happening here?"

✨ How curiosity transforms challenging moments into connection:
• Wonder over judgment – Instead of "Stop making that noise," try "I wonder what your body is trying to tell you when you make that sound?" This shifts from control to genuine curiosity about the child's experience.
• Questions that empower – "I wonder how we might solve this together?" invites collaboration rather than compliance. Children become partners in problem-solving, not passive recipients of adult solutions.
• Observing before intervening – When I notice a child holding their bottom and making distressed sounds, I wonder aloud: "I wonder if your body is trying to tell you something?" This helps them connect their internal signals with their needs.
• Curiosity about capabilities – "I wonder what you think might happen if..." allows children to hypothesise, experiment, and learn through discovery rather than being told what to do.
• Creating space for processing – Sometimes the most powerful intervention is simply saying, "I wonder what you're thinking about right now?" and then waiting with genuine interest for their response.

When we lead with curiosity, we're not just gathering information – we're communicating profound respect for the child's inner world. We're saying: "Your thoughts matter. Your feelings make sense. Your perspective has value."
This approach doesn't mean we don't have boundaries or expectations. It means we're genuinely interested in understanding before being understood. 💛

The beautiful thing about wondering? It's contagious. Children who experience curiosity learn to be curious about themselves, others, and the world around them.

What happens when you replace "You should..." with "I wonder..."? Sometimes the most powerful therapy isn't about having answers – it's about asking better questions. 🌱

03/08/2025

🌟 "I Wonder..." The Two Most Powerful Words in Child Development 🌟

When a child is struggling, our first instinct might be to fix, direct, or correct. But what if the most therapeutic response is simply: "I wonder what's happening here?"

✨ How curiosity transforms challenging moments into connection:
• Wonder over judgment – Instead of "Stop making that noise," try "I wonder what your body is trying to tell you when you make that sound?" This shifts from control to genuine curiosity about the child's experience.
• Questions that empower – "I wonder how we might solve this together?" invites collaboration rather than compliance. Children become partners in problem-solving, not passive recipients of adult solutions.
• Observing before intervening – When I notice a child holding their bottom and making distressed sounds, I wonder aloud: "I wonder if your body is trying to tell you something?" This helps them connect their internal signals with their needs.
• Curiosity about capabilities – "I wonder what you think might happen if..." allows children to hypothesise, experiment, and learn through discovery rather than being told what to do.
• Creating space for processing – Sometimes the most powerful intervention is simply saying, "I wonder what you're thinking about right now?" and then waiting with genuine interest for their response.

When we lead with curiosity, we're not just gathering information – we're communicating profound respect for the child's inner world. We're saying: "Your thoughts matter. Your feelings make sense. Your perspective has value."
This approach doesn't mean we don't have boundaries or expectations. It means we're genuinely interested in understanding before being understood. 💛

The beautiful thing about wondering? It's contagious. Children who experience curiosity learn to be curious about themselves, others, and the world around them.

What happens when you replace "You should..." with "I wonder..."? Sometimes the most powerful therapy isn't about having answers – it's about asking better questions. 🌱

29/07/2025

🌟 When a Bell Breaks: Teaching Accountability Through Connection, Not Punishment 🌟

Recently, a child came to me with shame written across their face: "Ali, this broke." What happened next demonstrates why restorative justice matters so much in early childhood settings.

📝 How we turn "oops" moments into learning opportunities:
• Truth over fear – Instead of harsh consequences, I said: "Springs don't usually just fall out. I understand children are curious, and sometimes experiments don't go as planned. Can you tell me what really happened?" The relief when they shared the truth was beautiful.
• Problem-solving together – Rather than punishment, we asked: "Now that we've created a problem, what should we do?" Their immediate response: "We should fix it!" This ownership came from them, not from me imposing consequences.
• Collaborative solutions – We worked together with the hot glue gun to repair what was broken. They weren't just watching me fix their "mistake" – they were part of the solution, learning practical skills while taking responsibility.
• Curiosity as strength – I acknowledged their natural curiosity as a wonderful trait, not something to suppress. "I know you're a curious human, and that's completely okay. Thank you for telling me the truth."
• Building trust – The most powerful moment? Seeing their surprise that I wasn't cross, that honesty was met with understanding. This builds the foundation for a lifetime of integrity.

When children feel safe to tell the truth about their mistakes, they learn that problems can be solved together. They discover that their curiosity is valued, their honesty is treasured, and their capacity to make things right is respected.

This isn't about letting children "get away" with things – it's about teaching them that mistakes are opportunities for growth, connection, and learning. 💛

How does your family handle those "oops" moments? Sometimes our greatest teaching happens not when things go perfectly, but when they beautifully don't. 🌱

21/07/2025

🌧️ Playgroup Cancelled 🌡️

Due to the weather forecast for this mornings playgroup has been cancelled. We were hoping for a break in the weather for playgroup but the forecast for 9 to 11 today is incredibly wet, cold and windy.

We look forward to seeing you next week.

14/07/2025

🌟 When a Tiny Teacher Changed Everything: The Power of Silent Communication 🌟

As an Early Childhood Intervention Therapist, I've witnessed countless beautiful moments, but one stands out as truly transformative. When a 2-year-old non-verbal child joined our group, he became the most powerful teacher we never expected.

💪 How one little soul revolutionised our understanding of communication:
✨ The art of truly seeing – With no words to rely on, we had to slow down and observe every subtle movement, every facial expression, every sound. This child taught us that a pushed-away hand means "I need space," a gentle smile means "yes, I'm enjoying this," and moving away from an activity clearly communicates "I'm finished now."
✨ Building bridges without words – The older children in our group became expert translators, learning to read body language with incredible precision. They would notice when our young friend was happy, frustrated, or ready to engage, developing empathy skills that will serve them for life.
✨ Patience as a superpower – When someone needs 50 gentle reminders to hold the trolley during an excursion, you learn that consistency and patience aren't just therapeutic tools – they're acts of love. Every repeated prompt was an investment in safety and understanding.
✨ The genius of non-verbal communication – This remarkable child used hand-leading to show us exactly what he wanted, demonstrated his needs through actions, and taught us that communication happens in countless ways beyond spoken words. His clarity was often more precise than verbal requests!
✨ Creating inclusive magic – The other children learnt to include him at his level, offering parallel play experiences and creating space for different ways of engaging. They discovered that friendship doesn't require shared language – it requires shared humanity.

This experience reminded me that every child has something profound to teach us. In a world that often rushes past those who communicate differently, this little one slowed us all down and showed us the beauty of truly paying attention.
💛 When we embrace different communication styles, we don't just accommodate – we enrich everyone's understanding of what it means to connect as humans.

Has your family discovered the power of non-verbal communication? Sometimes our greatest teachers come in the smallest packages, showing us that words are just one way to share our hearts. 🌱

07/07/2025

🌟 When Two Ideas Become One Magic Plan: The Art of Collaborative Dreaming 🌟

This morning, two children both drew volcanoes as their number one plan. Instead of rushing into separate activities, we discovered something beautiful: how arrows on paper can transform individual ideas into shared adventures.

💪 How our play planning revolutionises collaboration:
• Individual voice first – Every child draws their own ideas before we connect. This honours their autonomy: "What does YOUR brain want to explore today?" Their plans matter before we consider the group.
• The magic of arrows – When we notice similar ideas, we draw arrows connecting them! Children discover: "Oh, you want volcanoes too? How can we make this bigger together?" One child even started drawing arrows independently – now that's growth!
• "Yeah, and..." thinking – Instead of "No, but..." children learn to build on each other's ideas. Yesterday's volcano became tomorrow's volcano-pizza creation. Their imaginative expansion knows no bounds!
• Negotiation in action – "We both want to be shopkeeper" becomes a problem they solve together. Through scaffolded support, they discover turn-taking, time-sharing, and collaborative role creation.
• From paper to reality – Those arrows on paper translate into real-world cooperation. Children who plan together learn to build together, problem-solve together, and celebrate together.
• Flexible thinking in practice – When someone needs an earlier nap, we wonder: "Could we be flexible and go to the playground first?" Children learn that plans can adapt while still honouring everyone's needs.

What we're really teaching isn't just play planning – it's democracy in action. Children learn that their voice matters, other perspectives have value, and the best solutions often come from combining different ideas into something entirely new. 💛

This collaborative dreaming builds the foundation for every future relationship, every workplace project, every community initiative they'll ever be part of.
How does your family practice turning individual ideas into shared adventures? Sometimes the most beautiful plans are the ones we create together. 🌱

03/07/2025

🌟 The Play Therapy Studio is HERE: Ready for School Holiday Magic! 🌟

As an Early Childhood Intervention Therapist, I've dreamed of this moment - my custom-built Play Therapy Studio is finally complete and ready to welcome children just in time for our school holiday intensive program!

✨ Why this timing feels absolutely perfect:
• ♦ School holidays provide the ideal opportunity for intensive therapeutic work when children are relaxed and ready to explore
• ♦ A fresh, purpose-built environment creates excitement and curiosity - the perfect foundation for meaningful connections
• ♦ Children thrive when they can engage in extended play sessions without the pressure of school schedules
• ♦ The studio's sensory-friendly design supports deeper regulation and emotional exploration during longer sessions

🌱 What makes me most excited:
The children themselves will be part of completing this space! While we have some finishing touches like landscaping still to come, I can't think of anything more therapeutic than having the children help shape their own play environment. They'll contribute to decisions about garden plantings, outdoor sensory elements, and creative touches that will make this space truly theirs.

This isn't just about having a beautiful new therapy room - it's about creating a sanctuary where children feel safe to be authentically themselves, explore big emotions, and develop new skills through the power of play. Every corner has been designed with therapeutic intention, from the calming colour palette to the flexible spaces that can adapt to each child's unique needs.

The fact that it's ready for our holiday intensive feels like perfect timing. These programs are where I see the most incredible breakthroughs - when children have the luxury of time and space to really dive deep into their therapeutic journey.

Have your children ever experienced their biggest growth during school holidays when the pressure is off? There's something magical about giving kids permission to just BE and play! 🌈💛