05/02/2025
Hi everyone, wow I can see it's been a long time between updates indeed. I hope that you are all doing well, and had a nice break over the summer holidays.
I managed to have some nice times in the break, spending a lot of time at the beach, and resting, seeing friends and family when I could.
The hyperbaric therapy has taken up most of my time though. It's been a long.. and exhausting... process. I'm very grateful it's an option here in Australia, and covered by my health insurance (and fully covered by Medicare btw, if you don't have private health). The nurses are lovely and I've grown very fond of the other patients I'm in the dive chamber with each day.
But the process itself has been so tiring, 5 days a week, and I've had troubles with my sinuses and ears at times, resulting in a bruised eardrum and an increasing sense of claustrophobia in the chamber, especially with my oxygen helmet on. I think the treatment is having a positive impact - my head is feeling less foggy from the chemo, and there is definitely internal healing going on. It just leaves me feeling so exhausted every day, which is hard when I've got kids to run around after, and a household to look after.
But - I've done 33 sessions and have 7 to go! It's taken almost 11 weeks because when your ears aren't popping properly I can't go in, so I've had a number of days off for that, or public holidays. I'm almost at the finish line and I can't wait!
I've recently had some heart scans as well, because I was getting very dizzy when exercising. I'm happy to report my heart looks really good, and it's a blood pressure issue from the chemoradiation. I've got low blood pressure now and when I exercise it dips too low. So I'm on electrolytes every day and that should make me feel much better :-)
My big one-year post treatment scans are coming up in March - I'll be having a MRI, PET, and CT scan, and doing my usual scope up the backside! I'm nervous, the 1 year post-treatment scans usually do fill people with 'scan'xiety, and I am certainly not immune. But I'm staying positive and hoping that the treatment did the trick, and this HBOT that I'm having now is helping me heal nicely.
I've been processing an enormous amount of grief lately, of all different kinds. I have been to 6 funerals in the last 15 months, and that is finally hitting me right now. I've been feeling very sad, and trying to come to terms with all of these losses, and how they've impacted not only me, but all the people around me. I've also had people very dear to me, have signficant struggles of their own, including many with their own cancer journeys, and a few weeks ago my Dad had a sudden stroke, which was very distressing.
I'm also grieving the life I had - I was on this steep trajectory with my career, my paramedic degree, my volunteer ambulance work, and now life looks very different at the moment. I've had to make huge sacrifices for my health, which I'm 100% committed to and grateful I can actually do, but it's been a lot to process too.
It's honestly been one of the most challenging times of my life to date. It's felt too overwhelming to even manage at times - yet I do.
I have such amazing support around me, it enables me to be resilient even when I think I'm reaching my limit. Somehow I keep getting up and moving forward, and for that I thank each of you.
I've been quiet on here, and also in my own life. But I think of you all often, and always feel grateful when you reach out. 🧚♂️
p.s. - I'm in the back right corner, this was us just before Christmas. I really love all of my chamber buddies, and we do have lots of laughs!
