http://www.heartandhope.com.au/

Heart & Hope for Her, Adelaide (2026)

23/02/2026

This week, I’m taking time to listen more closely.

If you’re living in the aftermath of infidelity, secrecy, or compulsive sexual behaviour in your relationship, I’d value hearing what this has actually been like for you.

I’ve created a short anonymous survey (around 5 minutes). It includes mostly check-box responses to make it manageable.

I’m not collecting names or email addresses, and nothing you share will be linked back to you.

This is simply to help me better understand what women are navigating, so I can continue shaping support in a way that truly meets the need.

You can access the survey here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc2futj7v7d7yMGSMQjvu-1dpkpcJ9y7kDUx3FzL5HYoI5frA/viewform?usp=dialog

And if this feels relevant to someone you know, you’re welcome to pass it on privately.

If you have any questions, please send me a DM otherwise you can reach me via my website and emails 🤍

13/02/2026

This morning I opened an email confirming that I am now a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS) through APSATS.

There was a quick “yay!” moment… and then I made myself slow down. Because it’s so easy to skim past milestones and move straight into the “what’s next?” mindset. To tick the box and keep going. But this felt worth pausing for.

This certificate represents years of training. Hours of supervision and mentoring. Hundreds of clinical hours.
Ongoing CPD. A lot of study, reflection, energy and staying the course in a space that isn’t always the obvious path for an OT.

Working in betrayal trauma is still relatively niche within Occupational Therapy. And yet, for me, it fits. Sitting with trauma. Sitting with identity disruption. Sitting with the relational impact of betrayal. Supporting women as they find steadiness again in their bodies, their roles, and their sense of self.

This certification doesn’t really change how I practise. But it does matter. And I hope for the women I work with, it means something too. It means:

• Your experience is understood as trauma - not overreaction
• Safety and stabilisation come first
• Your nervous system responses are respected
• We make space to remember and mourn what was lost
• We explore reconnection - within the relationship or within yourself
• We work with identity, meaning, and the real-life impact of betrayal
• There is specialised training behind the support you’re receiving

And it means I remain committed to continued learning and growth... ongoing supervision and education as part of maintaining certification.

As always I’m really grateful to keep doing this work 🩷

08/02/2026

I often work on many of the same aspects of betrayal recovery as other therapists: boundaries, safety, understanding trauma, grief and identity.

I just come at it a little differently.

The OT lens I weave throughout our work pays close attention to daily life... think roles, capacity, safety, and the sometimes small, ordinary “doing” moments where recovery actually takes hold.

Lately, that’s looked like working with women through: > how to stay engaged in necessary work tasks that feel triggering after betrayal
> how to remain connected to important roles like movement or exercise that support strength and self-worth
> how to make sense of roles in relationships differently
> how to co-regulate alongside young children while also supporting your own regulation

This is what occupational therapy pays attention to: how healing actually gets lived. Im always thinking about how the 'doing' can be therapeutic and provide the experiences and learning needed to create and feel change.

30/01/2026

Betrayal can really blur the line between privacy and secrecy. Secrecy can create a more significant sense of isolation. It can pull you into silence, shame and a feeling you are carrying things alone. And the problem with secrecy post betrayal... is the injustice of keeping someone else's secret. What they kept hidden from you now starts to feel like your shadow.

However, there is a difference between secrecy and privacy:
Privacy is a choice.
It’s discernment.
It’s deciding who has the capacity to hold something tender and vulnerable. Who can be safe? Privacy can be protective.

You’re allowed to want support without giving away every detail of your story. That’s not hiding. It's not secrecy. It really is a form of self care.

18/01/2026

This question comes up a lot. And it’s come up repeatedly this past week.

In the days leading up to a bleed, many women find themselves wondering “Is this my hormones… or am I over-reacting?”

For the women I work with, this confusion makes a lot of sense, especially when betrayal trauma is part of the picture. There’s something uniquely female about how betrayal trauma is lived in the body as:
- our bodies move in cycles
- our hormones shift
And when those natural rhythms intersect with a nervous system already shaped by betrayal, things can feel more intense, more exposed, and harder to hold.

Hormonal shifts can change capacity. AND trauma already uses a lot of it. So when the two overlap, life can feel heavier and harder... not because something is “wrong,” but because the conditions have changed.

This isn’t about excusing behaviour or ignoring impact.
It’s about understanding and recognising what’s happening in your body, so you can meet yourself with more understanding, compassion, and adaptability - rather than criticism or unreasonable expectations.

And it’s important to say this too: for some women (inc those living with PMDD or significant cyclical mood changes) these shifts can be more intense and deserve specific support.

Cycles are about change. And when those changes affect capacity, it makes sense that how you move through daily life may need to change too.

Changes in our capacity (energy, tolerance, emotional bandwidth, focus) often invite changes in our roles, demands, support, self-compassion and environments.

Capacity shifts call for adjustment --> not self-criticism 🩷

06/01/2026

January feels slower for me this year... and I am making it so. I'm not rushing goals or plans yet - just noticing what’s staying with me from 2025, what needs more space, where I felt stretched or softened, and what actually gave me energy. I’m letting the last year make a bit more sense before moving on. (honestly… where did that year go?) If this resonates, you’re not the only one 🌱

19/12/2025

The year has finally slowed enough to pause and look back. Here are a few reflections from 2025 for Heart and Hope for Her 🩷

23/10/2025

I hear this kind of advice so often from women trying to make sense of betrayal. It’s usually offered with good intentions, a hope to help things feel calmer, to ease the pain, or to support the couple in moving forward.

But for many, it lands like a second wound, leaving them feeling silenced, blamed, or unseen.
Often, it also creates confusion - leaving them feeling as though others see their pain and response as disproportional to what happened. Unfortunately, that can become the very thing that blocks healing and keeps them stuck.

That’s why I wanted to write about it. Not to criticise those offering support, but to bring understanding to what can help and what can hurt when someone is trying to rebuild safety, trust, and a sense of reality after betrayal.

Your need for truth, safety, and understanding isn’t too much. It’s part of recovering.

Safety sits at the heart of my work; creating space to make sense of what’s happened and begin to rebuild.
You can find out more about my work at www.heartandhope.com.au

08/09/2025

Boundaries can feel confronting.
After betrayal, they may stir up fear, anxiety, or even guilt, especially if you’ve learned to put others’ needs above your own.

But boundaries aren’t about shutting people out. They’re about staying true to your needs and values, protecting your safety, and creating the possibility of safe connection.

In recovery from betrayal, boundaries are essential. They help you rebuild a sense of self, remember where you end and others begin, and decide what is safe enough to allow in.

And this isn’t just about betrayal. Boundaries matter for all of us... in daily life, in relationships, at work. They’re the quiet internal structures that give us steadiness, protect our wellbeing, and shape how we show up in the world. This is why boundaries are woven into the work I do: they are not just limits, but tools for rebuilding identity, safety, and connection after betrayal.

04/09/2025

Healing after betrayal isn’t about quick fixes. It really is more of a consistent practice, and it’s built on the everyday basics: sleep. Rest. Making decisions. Boundaries. Needs. Focus.
The deceptively simple things that suddenly feel complicated, fragile, or even impossible after betrayal.

You’re not alone if these feel out of reach. Research has found that between 30–60% of betrayed partners report trauma symptoms at moderate to severe levels, often similar to those seen in PTSD. Trauma changes how the body rests, how the mind processes, and how safe it feels to trust yourself or others.

This series is about those deceptively simple building blocks of recovery - why they’re so hard, and how we can begin to understand them with compassion.

First up: Sleep 💤 Follow along for more 🤍

* References re studies Steffens & Means, 2009; Lonergan et al., 2020.

01/09/2025

After betrayal, even ordinary moments can feel overwhelming. Your mind may race, the images may replay, or your body might shut down and feel far away from you.

And when you’re in that state, it can feel impossible to do anything “big” to ground yourself. That’s why I’ve put together a set of tiny, sensory anchors you can experiment with.

This isn’t about fixing. It’s about having a few small practices you can turn to when things feel too much. Some may land, others may not - and that’s okay. You can always come back, try again, or choose something different next time.

Swipe through to find the “I feel → Try this” ideas. Notice which ones speak to you, and keep a few tucked away for the days you need them most.

29/08/2025

What I hear from many women is:
“It’s so confusing - I had no idea who to turn to for support.”
“I don’t even know what I should be looking for.”

And I get it. After betrayal, you’re already trying to make sense of so much. Adding the question of who to see for help can feel overwhelming.

It’s great that there are so many diverse helping professionals and supports out there. But that also brings a challenge, especially when you’re in a trauma response. We know trauma can affect memory, focus, and decision-making. So the very skills you’d usually rely on to weigh up options may feel harder to access in the moment.

This carousel is a simple guide to help make sense of the landscape. Not to tell you the “right” answer, but to give you clarity so you can ask the right questions and find what feels safe and supportive for you.

Different trainings = different lenses. What matters most is the connection, safety and feeling you’ve found a fit that matches and respects your needs.

And remember, you don’t have to decide straight away. I strongly encourage making use of discovery or connection calls, asking questions, and giving yourself permission not to feel pressured into choosing until it feels right.

Heart & Hope for Her

23/02/2026

13/02/2026

08/02/2026

30/01/2026

18/01/2026

06/01/2026

19/12/2025

23/10/2025

08/09/2025

04/09/2025

01/09/2025

29/08/2025

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