Confident Kids and Teens

Confident Kids and Teens Confident Kids and Teens is a child psychology clinic based in Brisbane.

Our Child Psychologists offer practical, evidence based counselling and psychological services for children and teens. We are also the exclusive provider of the Confident Kids program, an evidence-based resiliency group program. The aim of the program is to boost confidence, resilience, self-esteem and friendship skills so children can thrive.

Adam Grant 💛It's not about what our kids want to do, but who they want to be. kind, wise, generous, and grounded in char...
12/04/2026

Adam Grant 💛
It's not about what our kids want to do, but who they want to be. kind, wise, generous, and grounded in character.



11/04/2026

Raising children who won’t have to recover from their childhood isn’t about being a perfect parent in the way most people think. It’s not about never getting it wrong or always staying calm.

It’s about becoming more aware of how we show up, especially in the everyday moments that don’t seem like a big deal but actually are.

It’s in how we respond when they’re overwhelmed, how we guide instead of shame, whether we take the time to help them understand what happened instead of just correcting the behavior. Those interactions are what shape how safe a child feels, not just in their environment, but in their own body.

From a brain and nervous system perspective, this matters more than most people realize…

When a child feels safe, their nervous system stays regulated. That allows the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for reasoning, impulse control, emotional regulation, and learning, to stay online. This is what makes it possible for them to process what we’re saying, reflect, and actually build skills over time.

But when a child feels threatened, whether through fear, shame, or disconnection, the brain shifts into a stress response. The amygdala activates, the body prepares for protection, and the prefrontal cortex becomes less accessible. In that state, the goal isn’t learning, it’s survival. So even if a child “stops” a behavior in the moment, it doesn’t mean they understood it or learned from it.

This is why connection, patience, and guidance are not just “gentle” approaches. They are what support healthy brain development and long-term emotional regulation.

For many of us, this requires unlearning. We were taught to prioritize obedience, to correct quickly, to push through emotions, or to dismiss them altogether. So doing it differently can feel uncomfortable at first, especially in the moments when we’re triggered.

But this isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being intentional. It’s about repair when we get it wrong, about coming back to connection, and about creating an environment where our children don’t have to question their worth in order to learn.

Over time, these repeated experiences shape how a child sees themselves, how they handle stress, and how they relate to others.

And that’s what we’re really doing here. 💕 We’re raising humans who feel safe, seen, and secure in who they are.

Giving your kids time in nature is more than just fun; it’s a science-backed way to lower their stress, spark their imag...
10/04/2026

Giving your kids time in nature is more than just fun; it’s a science-backed way to lower their stress, spark their imagination, and help them build real focus and self-discipline. 🌳✨


Tiny Buddha
10/04/2026


Tiny Buddha

09/04/2026

Some children were forced to become strong long before they were ready.

They became the one who coped.
The one who stayed quiet.
The one who handled things.
The one who did not ask for much.
The one who learned very early that falling apart did not feel like an option.

And when that happens, strength can stop being a healthy quality and start becoming a survival pattern.

Because when a child learns that support is inconsistent, unavailable, or unsafe, they often stop expecting it.

So instead of reaching out, they adapt.

They become hyper-independent.
They downplay their pain.
They say “I’m okay” while carrying far more than people realize.
They struggle to ask for help, and even when help is offered, they may feel uncomfortable receiving it.

Not because they want to suffer.
But because depending on others may feel unfamiliar, exposing, or even dangerous to the nervous system.

This is why some adults can be there for everyone else but do not know how to let anyone be there for them.

They were taught how to survive pressure.
Not how to be supported through it.

And over time, that kind of strength can become exhausting.

Because healing is not only about learning how to carry yourself.
It is also about learning that you do not always have to.

If this resonates with you, both of my books go deeper into these patterns.

I Didn’t Choose to Be Born explores how childhood wounds shape your emotional world, coping patterns, and sense of self.

Chasing Love That Hurts explores how those same wounds can show up in attachment, emotional needs, and relationship patterns in adulthood.

Both are available through the link in my bio

06/04/2026

Make sure your child is not so afraid of you that they are scared to ask for help when they’ve made a mistake.

We build this trust by being a safe place for their emotions when they are young. We can’t just tell them “you can tell me anything.” We have to show them that they are safe to tell us anything.

We can and will try to protect our children from many risky choices but there will still be times when they make their own choices. These choices may or may not have a higher level of risk involved.

Build a foundation of trust now by being a safe place for their emotions.

This is a little excerpt from my book….

Finding Your Calm: Responsive Parents Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation

This book combines my knowledge of child development, brain science and trauma to offer parents a unique resource that includes lots of exercises, reflections, insights and also… links to additional research, articles and videos that can help support your healing and learning journey.

Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parent’s Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation

Book: https://amzn.to/44yVD6U

Ebook: https://responsiveparentinginspirations.com/products/finding-your-calm

Audiobook: https://www.patreon.com/responsiveparentingwithjmilburn/shop/327689?utm_campaign=productshare_creator

Every dad wants respect.But what we really want… is trust.To be the one they come to first.Not out of fear—but because t...
05/04/2026

Every dad wants respect.
But what we really want… is trust.

To be the one they come to first.
Not out of fear—
but because they feel safe.

It might not feel like it now, but the boundaries you set today are shaping the kind of adult your teen becomes tomorrow...
04/04/2026

It might not feel like it now, but the boundaries you set today are shaping the kind of adult your teen becomes tomorrow. Stay strong and trust that it matters. ~

Reacting to every perceived threat, every slight, every situation that feels urgent keeps your mind locked in a stress l...
03/04/2026

Reacting to every perceived threat, every slight, every situation that feels urgent keeps your mind locked in a stress loop. The pause is where your mind regains the driver's seat.

02/04/2026

We tend to measure our parenting by the moments that stand out - the times we lost patience, the big feelings or behaviour we didn’t handle as well as we’d hoped, the days we were too tired, too distracted, too human.

We tend to hold those moments up as evidence of what we are - or aren’t - as parents.

But that’s not how it works.

What shapes a child’s sense of who they are isn’t any single moment. It’s the accumulation of ordinary ones - the ones in which they feel seen, safe, loved.

Neuroscience keeps telling us this quietly and consistently: the repeated experience of a calm, present, loving adult is what builds the architecture of a child’s nervous system over time. It’s not about the dramatic moments, but the ordinary ones.

Every time you showed up calm when they couldn’t. Every time you came back after a hard moment. Every average Tuesday where nothing much happened except that you were there - those moments matter.

They aren’t stored as memories they can retrieve and tell you about, but as a felt sense of the world they live in, who they are to you, and eventually, just who they are. They are stored as the answer to the question their nervous system - their foundation in the world - is always quietly asking: Am I safe? Is there someone here for me?

The body keeps score in both directions. The stress, yes - but also the warmth. The consistency. The thousand small moments of being held, seen, safe, loved, and not left alone with the hard things.

So if you tend to carry the weight of every moment you got wrong - and we all tend to do this - put some of that down.

Because the moments you got right - the ones that felt like nothing at the time - they matter, so much. And even through the messy times, those ‘got right’ moments are still there. Still working. Still building the foundation your child will stand on long after they’ve forgotten the day itself.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to keep coming back.

The ordinary moments are doing so much more than you think.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​❤️

It is in a child's most unlovable human moments that they most need to feel loved ❤️
01/04/2026

It is in a child's most unlovable human moments that they most need to feel loved ❤️


30/03/2026

Of course I wanted my child to grow up with both parents together.

Of course I tried.
Of course I stayed longer than I should have.

Because when you’re a parent…
you think about them first.

Always.

But there comes a point where you realize—

staying in something toxic
isn’t protecting your child…

it’s teaching them what to tolerate.

And I refused to teach my child
that love is supposed to feel like that.

So no… I didn’t “break” my family.

I chose peace.
I chose healing.
I chose a better example.

And I’d make that decision again.

Be honest…
did you struggle with the guilt of leaving even when you knew it was the right thing?



Address

Level 1, 240 Waterworks Road
Ashgrove, QLD
4060

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 7pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 7pm
Friday 9am - 6pm
Saturday 11am - 3pm

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