18/12/2025
Getting teens to help out is tough. Particularly at this time of year.
You ask them to unpack the dishwasher, do a load of washing, or pick up the shoes from the front door before family arrive, and they seem to ignore you and just continue lying on the couch relaxing.
Let me give you some tips to help.
I want you to resist the temptation to judge your child’s character based on their behaviour at this time of year. Your child is not lazy. They’re not manipulative. They’re not entitled. Step out of those really black-and-white thoughts you have about your child. They’ll only make you feel more stressed, and they’re not helpful for your teen either.
I want you to shift into a headspace of understanding your teenager and then working together to get them involved in helping out. It’s understandable that at this time of year they’re ready to relax while you’re ramping up. It’s understandable that there’s going to be some tension because you’ve got a huge mental to-do list, and they’re checking out at the end of the school year.
So let’s just acknowledge that there is a mismatch of expectations to begin with — and that’s where some of your teen’s “I’m just chilling” response is coming from.
What I want you to do instead is approach them with the belief that they can follow your instructions if you set the conditions well. Time your requests thoughtfully, manage your expectations, communicate directly, and follow up gently.
Everyone is here to help — you don’t have to do it all alone.
