Dr Kirstin Barchia

21/12/2025

20/12/2025

Keeping screen time down in the holidays is a challenge. Comment screens and I can send you more tips.

19/12/2025

Christmas is often a time where we reflect on family relationships, and the relationship I want you to think about today is your relationship with your teenager — but not just the relationship you have with them today. I want you to think about the relationship you want to have with them when they’re 24.

When they’re 24, you want them to willingly come home for Christmas and be excited to see you.

So this Christmas, I want you to think about how you can strengthen your relationship with your teenager during this stressful period — when they’re glued to devices, refusing to help, or pushing your buttons. How can you connect with them differently? How can you build trust and nurture the kind of relationship that lasts?

Imagine a Christmas where your 24-year-old comes home not because you spent their teen years people-pleasing, doing everything yourself, burning out, and then snapping at everyone… but because you genuinely worked to understand them. Because you slowed down, saw their experience, showed up for them, and helped them feel safe and valued. And imagine them turning around and helping you out on Christmas Day — how good would that feel?

I want to encourage you that this is possible. That this Christmas can be the beginning of strengthening your relationship with your teen. And that into the next year, you can keep building that connection so that when they’re 24, they are not only willingly coming home for Christmas lunch — they’re thanking you for how you were there for them during their teenage years.

19/12/2025

Christmas is a beautiful time of year, but for many families of teenagers, it’s also a stormy one. Teens finally exhale after a massive year. Parents are carrying the invisible load of organising, cooking, wrapping, hosting, and managing everyone’s expectations. Those two internal worlds collide, and suddenly the smallest moments — a forgotten dishwasher, a closed bedroom door, the tenth request to put down the phone — feel bigger than they need to be.

So here’s a gentle perspective shift as we move toward the holiday season.

In Australia, we hope for a sunny Christmas Day, but we all know we might also be met with summer rain. If it rains, we accept it and make a plan B. We don’t panic. We adapt.

The same is true for the emotional weather inside your home. The end of the year brings predictable internal storms: your own fatigue, the pressure of wrapping up work, the mental load of hosting, and the emotional edges that come with seeing family. Your teen, meanwhile, is craving downtime after a full year of school, assessments, friendships, and constant expectations. Put these two things together and yes — an emotional thunderstorm is more likely to roll in.

But there’s nothing wrong with storms. Storms pass.

So take a breath. Acknowledge that this season is busy and intense, and that you don’t need to parent your teen as if the weather should be clear blue skies. Look after yourself. Make space for a rest. Drop the pressure where you can. Prepare emotionally for a season that might be a little bumpy — not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because it’s simply that time of year.

And when the moment feels calm for both of you, gently revisit shared expectations about screens, chores, and responsibilities. Calm conversations land better than urgent ones.

18/12/2025

Getting teens to help out is tough. Particularly at this time of year.

You ask them to unpack the dishwasher, do a load of washing, or pick up the shoes from the front door before family arrive, and they seem to ignore you and just continue lying on the couch relaxing.

Let me give you some tips to help.

I want you to resist the temptation to judge your child’s character based on their behaviour at this time of year. Your child is not lazy. They’re not manipulative. They’re not entitled. Step out of those really black-and-white thoughts you have about your child. They’ll only make you feel more stressed, and they’re not helpful for your teen either.

I want you to shift into a headspace of understanding your teenager and then working together to get them involved in helping out. It’s understandable that at this time of year they’re ready to relax while you’re ramping up. It’s understandable that there’s going to be some tension because you’ve got a huge mental to-do list, and they’re checking out at the end of the school year.

So let’s just acknowledge that there is a mismatch of expectations to begin with — and that’s where some of your teen’s “I’m just chilling” response is coming from.

What I want you to do instead is approach them with the belief that they can follow your instructions if you set the conditions well. Time your requests thoughtfully, manage your expectations, communicate directly, and follow up gently.

Everyone is here to help — you don’t have to do it all alone.

17/12/2025

Christmas with teens can feel a little… stormy. ⛈️
Screens. Shoes at the door. One-word answers at the dinner table. Sound familiar?

Here’s the reframe:
This season always brings emotional weather. You’re tired and carrying the mental load. Your teen is finally relaxing after a huge year. 🌧️ + 😴 = friction.

Take a breath. Lower the pressure. Prepare for a few storms — the emotional kind.
And save the conversations about screens and chores for a calm moment, not a chaotic one.

Storms pass. And calm comes back. 💛

17/12/2025

You might be feeling a little bit worried leading into the Christmas holiday period about your teen’s screen time — and if you are, you’re definitely not alone. Here are some tips to help you.

Don’t try to talk to your teenager in the spur of the moment while they’re on their device. It’s not going to go down well.

Regulate your own anxiety a little. Take some deep breaths. Get yourself into a clear-thinking, calm brain.

Prepare to have a planned, focused conversation with your teenager. Get their input and help them come up with a plan for their device use over the holidays.

Prepare for failure. Teenagers are learning — just like all of us — how to manage something that’s so easily accessible and right there in their pocket. Changing screen habits is tricky. Expect that they’ll stumble, and work together on the plan when they do.

Bonus tip: Try not to over-function. Support your teen to generate their own solutions instead of you spending hours ruminating or worrying about it.

I hope you find these tips helpful. Like and follow for more.
Comment devices for more help with teens and screens.

10/12/2025

Australia’s social media ban for teens under 14 started today. Interested in know what’s happened on kids devices today? I’ve heard Snapchat locked many 13 year olds out this morning but TikTok just asked kids to say they were old enough. I agree with the new laws are a great start. It’s also a great intro to having conversations with your kids and teens about social media. Let me know what they’re saying in your house today.

19/11/2025

Click the link to read the most recent parent thinking space article https://www.kirstinbarchia.com.au/blog/screen

19/11/2025

Getting teens, or any of us, to change their screen use is tough. And the conversations you have with your teen now are important for now and their future. Because no matter how good your rules and monitoring are now one day your teen will be old enough (or smart enough to get around restrictions)
To help you out I’ve bundled my teens and screens and connected conversations courses and they’re on sale until tomorrow night (Thursday AEDT)
See the comments or link in bio for the link

19/11/2025

The Christmas holidays are almost here.

Presents to buy, meals to plan, family to see.

Then almost time to Ahhh....relax.

Or peek over your shoulder every five minutes to make sure they have’t snuck their device again?

Here to help you engage your teen in the real world this Christmas break.

My Teens and Screens course bundled with Calm Connected Conversations is 50% if before tomorrow night. Click here www.kirstinbarchia.com.au/teen-screen-time

Here’s what others have said about the bundle...

“The day I purchased the program we were having SUCH a tough and hard time. We pulled the phone away cold turkey and did all the things that only made it worse! I listened to your video training in the car and learnt how to approach the next chat we had. It worked well and we agreed on a plan. A few days later it is proving challenging for him to stick to it but at least I can speak without getting my head ripped off. Your video was EXCELLENT, I really loved it. I’m not easily won over by presentations but yours was so good.”

“I regularly seek out info on how to deal with my teen. None of it has ever worked for us. I am time poor and never seem to have the time to find what I need. Kirstin’s video was such a breath of fresh air for me. I felt confident after watching it and hopeful to reconnect with my son who is angry and screen dependent. Connection with my teen is the most important thing I can give him in this ever changing and challenging world. Kirstin’s advice is helping me change and learn to negotiate with my son. He’s a tough nut to crack but the approach was so successful for him. He felt empowered and I felt relieved. Kirstin’s voice is easy to listen to, like a supportive friend talking you through. The video is practical, can be applied straight away and the cost is very reasonable.”

You can access my Teens and Screens and Connected Conversations bundle now for more than 50% off until this Thursday 20th November at midnight (AEDT). Comment screens and see link in biok

18/11/2025

Remember the movie Castaway?

The plot opens with Tom Hanks next to his wife looking at their Blackberry devices trying to organise when they will be able to spend time together.

At the time, we all thought that was extreme.

But oh how that movie predicted reality.

Smart phones, ipads, laptops, wifi, working from home...

Have impacted the way we connect within our families.

We look at our teens scrolling, gaming, laptops slamming shut when we walk in the room...

But we are also looking at screens.

We check emails.

Read texts.

Respond to whatsapp group messages organising sports.

We are using devices more too.

Screen use is a common cause of disconnection and conflict in households with teens.

Your connnection with your teen is important.

You also deserve to have the calm connected household you want...even in the teen years.

To help you I have something special that can help you and your family.

This week I have bundled and discounted my Teens and Screens and Calm Connected Conversations courses for you. Click here now to buy www.kirstinbarchia.com.au/teen-screen-time