Dr Kirstin Barchia

05/09/2025

Is it true that you can actually trip yourself if you have an untied shoelace?
I’ve tied it up now but wondered if it’s true? Let me know in the comments if you have actually fallen over from your shoelaces being untied?
This makes me reflect on how many things we are told to do as parents that make some logical sense but is actually wrong.
For years I worked towards a career supporting teens based on the wrong belief that teenagers need to pull away from their parents to develop their independence.
I now know that’s not true. Sure friends become more important sources of support than the younger years but that doesn’t mean parent support and connection needs to diminish.
Did you know there’s actually a crucial second window of parent child attachment in the teen years that navigated well helps your teen have better healthier relationships for life?

04/09/2025

Do you ever come across some great tips for your teen...only to have them refuse to lisen to your suggestions 😠This week's parent thinking space article is all about that. Click here for a 2 min read.

Dr. Kirstin Barchia reveals why teens don't respond to our well-intentioned advice and offers three powerful alternatives: modeling behaviors, timing conversations, and reflective coaching.

04/09/2025

Have you tried this? Let me know in the chat. See what happens when you slow down and parent a little more slow motion matrix fight scene mode. Slowing things down always makes us more skilful.

03/09/2025

Your relationship with your teen is the key to their emotional resilience. Comment connection for my free guide about how to improve your connection with your teen today even when they’re rolling their eyes or behind closed doors.

01/09/2025

Eye rolls, moodiness, refusal and closed doors make it hard to connect with our teens but the very thing that makes it hard is the thing we need to focus on.
Comment connection and I will send you my free guide to improve connection with your teen today even when they’re rolling their eyes, saying I don’t care or retreating to the bedroom.

29/08/2025

Resilience is built through relationship.

Our teens need a secure base to push out into the world from.

But maintaining the parent teen connection is hard particularly when they are rolling their eyes at you, speaking rudely, or refusing to leave their room.

Connecting can be tough but is possible and vital for teen resilience and coping. Comment connection and I will send you my free guide for what you can do today to improve your connection with your teen even if they are rolling their eyes, saying I don’t care or refusing to come out of their bedroom.

27/08/2025

Resilience is built through parent teen connection. Comment connection and I will send you my free guide to improve connection with your teen today.

22/08/2025

There are times in parenting that can feel so lonely.

When you’re standing on the other side of their bedroom door, worried about what’s happening inside...

When your parenting partner tells you not to stress or brushes off your concerns...

When you feel the criticism of others judging you for being too soft and too strict at the same time.

Parenting teens can feel lonely.

And the loneliness can feel heavy, as you carry the responsibility of being the parent who shows up, who cares, who reads the books, and watches the parent webinars.

But parenting was never meant to be done alone.

The “village” is needed not only to support your teen, but to support you too.

Your feelings matter.

Your exhaustion when you see the washing on the bathroom floor.

Your frustration when your teen won’t listen and your family thinks you’re being too soft or too strict.

Your worry about their moods, their stress, their friends, & their schoolwork.

I want you to know...

I see you.

And I’m here for you.

The whole reason I write articles and created the Calm Connection program is so parents like you can feel less exhausted, less frustrated, and less alone.

And I know you might also be wishing for the tips about:

How to get your teen to pick up the cups in their room...

How to get them to unpack a dishwasher without prompting...or...

How to get then off their phone without you even asking.

These things are important, but what you need first isn’t help with chores, it’s relief.

It’s to feel less exhausted, frustrated, and alone.

The first step toward that relief is simply having someone acknowledge the load you’re carrying.

Somehow, when we share that load — even if it’s just by reading an email or watching a video — it feels a little bit lighter.

So that’s my gift to you today, the gift of knowing that someone else sees how hard you work and how much you’re carrying.

I hope that today, your load feels just a little lighter...and that you know you’re not alone.

20/08/2025

There are times in parenting that can feel so lonely.

When you're standing on the other side of their bedroom door, worried about what’s happening inside...

When your parenting partner tells you not to stress or brushes off your concerns...

When you feel the criticism of others judging you for being too soft and too strict at the same time.

Parenting teens can feel lonely.

And the loneliness can feel heavy, as you carry the responsibility of being the parent who shows up, who cares, who reads the books, and watches the parent webinars.

But parenting was never meant to be done alone.

The "village" is needed not only to support your teen, but to support you too.

Your feelings matter.

Your exhaustion when you see the washing on the bathroom floor.

Your frustration when your teen won’t listen and your family thinks you’re being too soft or too strict.

Your worry about their moods, their stress, their friends, & their schoolwork.

I want you to know...

I see you.

And I’m here for you.

The whole reason I write these emails and created the Calm Connection program is so parents like you can feel less exhausted, less frustrated, and less alone.

And I know you might also be wishing for the tips about:

How to get your teen to pick up the cups in their room...

How to get them to unpack a dishwasher without prompting...or...

How to get then off their phone without you even asking.

These things are important, but what you need first isn’t help with chores, it’s relief.

It’s to feel less exhausted, frustrated, and alone.

The first step toward that relief is simply having someone acknowledge the load you’re carrying.

Somehow, when we share that load — even if it’s just by reading an email or watching a video — it feels a little bit lighter.

So that’s my gift to you today, the gift of knowing that someone else sees how hard you work and how much you’re carrying.

I hope that today, your load feels just a little lighter...and that you know you’re not alone.

Here to help,

Kirstin

p.s. This article is from my Parent Thinking Space resource. Read all the articles here www.kirstinbarchia.com.au/blog

20/08/2025

There are times in parenting that can feel so lonely.

When you’re standing on the other side of their bedroom door, worried about what’s happening inside...

When your parenting partner tells you not to stress or brushes off your concerns...

When you feel the criticism of others judging you for being too soft and too strict at the same time.

Parenting teens can feel lonely.

And the loneliness can feel heavy, as you carry the responsibility of being the parent who shows up, who cares, who reads the books, and watches the parent webinars.

But parenting was never meant to be done alone.

The “village” is needed not only to support your teen, but to support you too.

Your feelings matter.

Your exhaustion when you see the washing on the bathroom floor.

Your frustration when your teen won’t listen and your family thinks you’re being too soft or too strict.

Your worry about their moods, their stress, their friends, & their schoolwork.

I want you to know...

I see you.

And I’m here for you.

The whole reason I write these emails and created the Calm Connection program is so parents like you can feel less exhausted, less frustrated, and less alone.

And I know you might also be wishing for the tips about:

How to get your teen to pick up the cups in their room...

How to get them to unpack a dishwasher without prompting...or...

How to get then off their phone without you even asking.

These things are important, but what you need first isn’t help with chores, it’s relief.

It’s to feel less exhausted, frustrated, and alone.

The first step toward that relief is simply having someone acknowledge the load you’re carrying.

Somehow, when we share that load — even if it’s just by reading an email or watching a video — it feels a little bit lighter.

So that’s my gift to you today, the gift of knowing that someone else sees how hard you work and how much you’re carrying.

I hope that today, your load feels just a little lighter...and that you know you’re not alone.

Here to help,

Kirstin

p.s. This article is from my Parent Thinking Space resource. Comment thinking space for free access to all of the articles.

05/08/2025

It’s not just helicopter parenting you need to look out for.

Parenting teenagers today is scary at times.

There are more challenges than ever.

More pressure.

More uncertainty.

And wayyyy more things to worry about: va**ng, online gaming, social media.

It’s hard not to feel anxious when your teen is behind closed doors.

But when anxiety is in charge, it reduces our options for behaviour and impacts the effectiveness of our parenting.

Anxiety’s role is to protect us (and our kids) from danger.

It has a very limited repertoire of behaviours associated with it: fight, flight, and freeze.

When we are anxious or stressed out by our kids (or life), our urge to fix, snap at the family, fight them to get them to do what we want, or equally retreat into busyness or numbing feelings of stress, is strong.

This is not how you ever planned to be as a parent.

You're not broken, just human….with human emotions and action urges.

But these stresses and reactions, left unchecked, will impact your relationship with your teen.

Your teen is learning how to manage their own stress or anxiety from you.

So what can you do when you feel anxious and stressed and worried out of your mind about your teen or life?

Pause.

Pause between what you impulsively want to do and the action you take.

It’s in that moment you gain insight and control - to choose the action you want to take and parent on purpose.

Want some help to learn to do this? I provide parent life coaching inside my Calm Connection Program. Info is here www.kirstinbarchia.com.au/calmconnection