Goldfish Counselling

18/12/2025

I’ve spent the last few years working closely with neurodivergent children and their parents 💛, and over time a clear pattern has kept emerging.

Many of the challenges families were navigating didn’t sit with one individual, but within the relationship itself, particularly where neurodivergence, trauma, and ongoing stress were part of the picture 🌱.

Through this work, it became increasingly apparent that there was a gap in genuinely neurodivergence- and trauma-informed couples support, and that traditional, neurotypical relationship approaches don’t always meet the needs of these couples well 🤍.

Behind the scenes, I’ve been intentionally upskilling and developing my approach to couples work to respond to this need in a more fitting and supportive way 🛠️✨.

From the new year, I’ll be opening my books to couples 🗓️
Free 15-minute Zoom intro sessions are now open to book 💻✨(link in bio)

01/12/2025

17/10/2025

It’s easy to listen half-heartedly to the chatter — to assume we’ll be more present when it really counts. But THIS is when it counts.

Because every time we make space for their words, we’re really saying:
You matter. Your world matters.
And there will always be room for both here. ❤️

Quote Credit: Catherine M. Wallace ❣️

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17/10/2025

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Many of us grew up in homes where emotions were treated like something to fix, silence, or fear.
“Stop crying.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“You have nothing to be upset about.”

It wasn’t our emotions that scared the adults around us — it was our reaction to them.
So we learned to shrink. To hide what we felt. To believe that being emotional meant being too much.

But feelings don’t disappear just because they’re ignored. They wait — and they resurface later as stress, anxiety, or the deep sense that we can’t trust what we feel.

If we want to do better — for ourselves and our children — we have to unlearn that fear.
We have to remember that emotions aren’t the enemy. They’re messengers.

Our children don’t need us to make their big feelings disappear.
They need us to help them make sense of them.

That starts with co-regulation — meeting their chaos with calm, their tears with presence, their fear with safety.

Sit with them through the wave.
Name what’s happening.
Hold them if they reach for you.
And wait.

The calm will return — more quickly, more deeply — when their feelings are met, not managed.

Later, when the storm has passed, you can talk about it — to understand what they were really trying to say, once they’re calm enough to find the words.

But first, we have to let them have all of their emotions.

Because the goal isn’t to stop them from feeling.
It’s to raise children who don’t have to heal from being human. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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17/10/2025

A quick note about this space 💛

Goldfish Counselling’s social media is a place for education, reflection, and community — but it isn’t a counselling platform.

I can’t offer personalised advice or therapeutic support via DMs or comments, and messages aren’t monitored for crisis care. If you ever need immediate support, please reach out to:

💛 Lifeline — 13 11 14
🌈 QLife — 1800 184 527
💬 Kids Helpline — 1800 55 1800

You can learn more or book a counselling session here: www.goldfishcounselling.com.au

Thank you for helping keep this space kind, safe, and supportive for everyone who visits 🌿

Melissa | Goldfish Counselling
Real conversations. Genuine connection. Neuroaffirming care.

14/10/2025

Healed parents raise secure children. Your self-work today becomes your child’s peace tomorrow. ✨💞

14/10/2025

How we feel and the emotions we experience are a central part of our mental health. Conversely how we respond to emotions is critical for our health, mental and physical. While they can perplexing, stubborn, frustrating, annoying, frightening and downright depressing at times, emotions are a fundamental and necessary part of brain functioning. In fact, they are central to being human.

Unfortunately societal beliefs often tells us we shouldn’t have emotions or some emotions are bad. Telling your brain it shouldn’t have emotions is like telling your heart not to beat or your lungs not to breathe, and it doesn’t make your brain very happy.

Emotions don’t always feel nice and can make us want to run away from them. And like any avoidance, short term this seems to work, we feel relieved. But inside your brain is feeling pretty annoyed at trying to hold it all in.

How you respond to your emotions is important. Research shows suppressing, berating and shaming emotions doesn’t help us deal with them at all and just creates more stress and make emotions feel even more difficult.

Naming, validating, expressing and recognising emotions seems to help us process them and help us become friends with them, rather than them having power over us. It seems to soothe those emotions and instead of adding a layer of more stress and difficult feelings, helps us deal with the ones we have.

read more about the science of emotions and how we can help our emotions in my books
📕‘A Toolkit for your Emotions’.
📚 A toolkit for modern life
📖 A toolkit for happiness

12/10/2025

Fluctuating capacity is something all neurodivergent people experience; kids, teens, and adults alike.

It means our ability to think, regulate, communicate, or cope with everyday demands naturally changes depending on energy, sensory load, emotional safety, and what’s happening around us.

For kids, this often shows up as “school can’t”, days where attending, coping, or even thinking about school feels impossible. This isn't bad behaviour or avoidance; they’re signs a child’s nervous system is overloaded and needs support, not pressure.

Understanding fluctuating capacity helps families respond with empathy instead of frustration. It helps us see the patterns behind the hard days and adjust our expectations, routines, and supports, so kids can recover and rebuild.

And it’s not just kids. Many neurodivergent adults experience fluctuating capacity too, it’s why some days feel productive and others are spent in recovery mode.

Learning to recognise and respect these fluctuations, rather than fight against them, is key to long-term wellbeing, self-understanding, and sustainable growth. 🌿

10/10/2025

09/10/2025

Join 249k readers: yungpueblo.substack.com

09/10/2025

01/10/2025