Sydney Gay Counselling

07/11/2025

Scrolling through Grindr but feeling empty inside? This isn't just about hookups; it's about understanding the deeper emotional landscape gay men navigate. Full insights in the comments.

26/10/2025

Why do so many gay men want a relationship but find themselves still single year after year?

It's a question I hear often in my practice. And the answer isn't about being "too picky" or not trying hard enough.

The reality? Gay men are navigating barriers that most people don't face—and doing it without many of the tools others take for granted.

I've written about what's really going on, and more importantly, how to move forward.

Link in comments 👇

20/06/2025

What if monogamy isn’t the only way?

💥 Approximately 50% of gay male couples have open relationships.
And research shows a lot of them work extremely well.

Why?

Because they talk about it—openly.

They set clear agreements.
They trust each other.
They understand they won’t meet every need for one person.
They manage jealousy, instead of pretending it doesn’t exist.
They create safety at home while allowing freedom outside it.

🗣️ They communicate more than most straight couples
📜 They make specific rules and stick to them
❤️ They don’t expect one person to be their "everything"
🎯 They focus on *their* relationship, not society’s expectations

You don’t have to want an open relationship, and open relationships are not for every couple. In my practice, I work with many gay couples who are thriving with monogamy.

But the way open couples build security, negotiate their needs, and drop impossible expectations, that’s something every couple should learn from.

What would your relationship look like if you stopped trying to do it the “normal” way?

And started doing it *your* way?

19/06/2025

Are your dating expectations ruining everything?

Chatting for weeks but never meeting.
Falling hard before the first date.
Ignoring obvious red flags.
Waiting on texts that never come.
Feeling confused, frustrated, or stuck.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Here’s why most gay relationships fail—and what can actually work.

Stop confusing obsession with connection.
Too many build fantasy relationships in their minds. If you haven’t met face-to-face, it’s not real.

Watch for emotional availability.
If someone wants to see you, they make time. Don’t chase anyone who keeps you guessing.

Look for values, not perfection.
Chemistry matters, but so do emotional maturity, kindness, and consistency.

Ditch the pressure for every date to become something serious.
Approach each meeting with curiosity, not expectations.

Tune into how it feels, not just how it looks.
If something feels tense, confusing, or draining—that’s a sign. Pay attention.

Move from chat to real life—quickly.
If someone won’t meet within a few days, they’re likely not serious.

Don’t try to become someone else to fit in.
You’re not too much. You’re not lacking. The right connection will appreciate you as you are.

Want something real?
Start by being real—show up with honesty, openness, and self-awareness.

Then build from there. No fantasy required.

If this hits home, drop a comment:
What’s been your biggest dating mistake?

22/03/2024

If you're curious about gender dysphoria, check out my latest post for information on this challenging and painful experience.

In this blog post, we'll explore what gender dysphoria is, its symptoms, causes, and the impact it can have on mental and physical health.

07/12/2023

If you've been considering LGBT therapy, check out my latest blog post where I discuss how it works and the benefits.

Explore the transformative journey of self-discovery and growth through LGBTQIA+ therapy. Navigate with support for a fulfilling life.

07/06/2023

Gay men's group therapy is a powerful way to overcome your issues and live the life you want.

Wondering if therapy can really help with your issues? Read my 20 ways therapy can help you become a better gay man.

06/06/2023

Why are gay relationships so hard? Listen to my answers in this interview with the Gay Love Coach.

Wondering why gay men have problems forming long-term intimate relationships? Listen to my interview with the Gay Love Coach to find out...

31/05/2023

What are the big issues for gay men?

Therapist Larry Cappel shares his perspective on some of the blocks that gay men have when it comes to their lives and relationships.

30/05/2023

When it comes to coming out, compassion is very important.

In this post I discuss the importance of bringing a sense of compassion to your gay relationships to ensure their success.

24/05/2023

Listen to my interview with Matt Glover of about the big issues for people coming out.

Listen to this interview with Melbourne psychotherapist Matt Glover about the big issues facing LGBTI people when they come out.