20/11/2022
Moderate.
At this time of year I’ve noticed again that things have really picked up at my practice.
It’s not a surprise. It happens every year around the month of November.
It is a time that messages and emails flood in from people either wanting to engage in psychotherapy for the first time.
Or they are current clients in need of those extra sessions because the holiday period signifies a time of being with loved ones and family.
This can be stressful for those who have this in their lives and for those who do not.
And so, this is a personal share.
I have a history of struggling to say No, even when -
~ I am at capacity.
~ There are often not enough hours in the day.
~ My calendar is bursting.
‘Why do I do this?’ 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve come to realise that I have an empathy + compassion radar that goes into overdrive when clients are begging ‘Please can you fit me in?’ and the idea of letting them down overrides my own self-care.
It’s hard when you recognise that the two things you’ve considered a personal strength can actually work against you and set you up for burnout.
Or what Amy Cunningham refers to in this TED talk as - compassion fatigue.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsaorjIo1Yc
Cunningham reminded me that whether we are an empathetic healthcare professional, carer to an ill parent or a well intentioned friend helping another, we can all run the risk of compassion fatigue.
And so I’ve been working on a better practice of saying ‘No’ when I need to - without feeling guilty. This is still a big ask, I’m not going to lie.
And so I’ve decided to put into practice what I encourage my clients to do.
Gift myself just 10 minutes a day to nourish myself with breath/silence/some form of movement. Swims throughout the year is are my favourite.
And, although it’s taken over 15 years to get here I must admit it feels good!
“𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓.”
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky
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