24/12/2025
There’s a particular kind of happiness that arrives when life stops asking for anything grand and simply asks you to stay awake.
Margaret Drabble’s line about welcoming a 2 a.m. feeding with delight captures that quiet, almost startling emotional turn. It’s a moment many people are told to dread: exhaustion, interruption, sacrifice. And yet what Drabble describes is the opposite. Not endurance, not grim duty, but longing. The desire to look again. To confirm that this small, fragile being is still there and still miraculous.
The quote comes from ‘The Millstone’, Margaret Drabble’s 1965 novel about Rosamund Stacey, a young academic who becomes a single mother in a society that is deeply uncomfortable with that fact. At the time, unmarried motherhood was treated as either a moral failing or a tragedy. Drabble, writing in her early twenties and fresh from Cambridge, refused both frames. Instead, she gave readers something far more subversive: a woman who experiences motherhood as a source of private, untheatrical joy.
What’s striking is how modest the moment is. There’s no sweeping declaration of love, no sentimental crescendo. Just the pleasure of being awake with a baby when the world has gone quiet. That restraint is the point. Drabble understands that real emotional revolutions often announce themselves softly. The delight doesn’t come from the baby doing anything extraordinary, but from the mother’s own internal shift. Her attention has changed. Her priorities have narrowed and, paradoxically, deepened.
Psychologically, this moment speaks to how attachment actually works. Love doesn’t always arrive as fireworks. Sometimes it arrives as vigilance, as curiosity, as wanting to look again even when you’re tired. The feeding becomes less about the task and more about the intimacy of being needed. In that sense, Drabble is describing not just maternal love but the formation of meaning itself. Purpose sneaks in through repetition.
Culturally, the quote pushes back against two familiar myths. One is that motherhood is either pure bliss or pure drudgery. The other is that fulfillment must be loud and obvious to count. Drabble offers a third option: joy that’s quiet, private, and almost embarrassing in its simplicity. This was a bold move in the 1960s, when women’s interior lives were often flattened into slogans, either domestic or feminist. Drabble insisted on complexity. A woman could be intellectually ambitious, socially unconventional, and still find herself undone by the pleasure of a nighttime feeding.
Margaret Drabble herself has always occupied this in between space. Often grouped with writers like Doris Lessing and Iris Murdoch, she was sometimes dismissed as too domestic, too middle class, too concerned with women’s everyday lives. But that was precisely her achievement. She treated the emotional textures of ordinary female experience as worthy of serious literature. Over time, her work has been reappraised as quietly radical, especially in how it handles motherhood without romance or resentment.
There’s also something gently defiant in the delight she describes. The world tells new mothers they should want their old lives back, that they should resent the loss of sleep, autonomy, and professional momentum. Margaret Drabble allows her character to want something else entirely, at least for that moment. To want the interruption. To welcome the disruption as proof of connection.
Ultimately, the power of the quote lies in its recognition that love often reveals itself when we stop measuring our lives by efficiency or progress. At two in the morning, nothing is being achieved. No one is watching. And yet something essential is happening. A person is discovering that meaning doesn’t always arrive on schedule, and that sometimes the deepest satisfaction comes from being awake, tired, and completely absorbed in someone else’s existence.