16/01/2024
I was talking about my various mental health diagnoses with a friend. When I said OCD they said “oh no you don’t have that I’ve seen your house, you’re making it up”
So here is your PSA. it’s obsessive COMPULSIVE disorder, not obsessive cleaning disorder.
Cleaning, hand washing, light switch flicking can be part of it sure but the belief that these are a must have is a myth.
OCD is the presence of any obsessive and/or compulsive actions/thoughts/harmful behaviours.
I carry a v**e or water bottle at all times because hand to mouth actions are UNSTOPPABLE for me and I don’t want to chew or suck fingers in public.
Volume controls MUST be on odd numbers even if it makes the sound too low or too high for skipping the even number.
My phone NEEDS to be within reach at all times
I HAVE certain food and drink in the house at ALL times even if I am sick of it or not eating it that week/month (a tin of corned beef has been sitting in the pantry since my first shop in Brisbane, I mean wtf)
There are only a few colours I will wear, no point buying me anything outside the colours. (It’s purple, red, black and occasionally sunflowers…not yellow as a colour, just sunflowers.)
My make up style NEVER changes
I COMPULSIVELY pick at my skin and nails till I have ulcers and weeping sores.
I CAN NOT STOP speaking till I finish my point, even if it annoys you or you already know what I will say.
I OBSESS over things said to me, or things I have said or done to others. This makes me cry, have anxiety attacks, keeps me awake all night.
My intrusive thoughts DO NOT go away if I distract myself, they stay with me for days/weeks/months. Many times until I actually act upon them. 😣
I FORM HABBITS too easily and can not break them. (Quit smoking for 10 years, every day Was a struggle till eventually I gave in to the thoughts and started again)
I CAN NOT sleep till I have stimmed my feet against the sheets and hummed and sighed a lot… also I can’t sleep because my brain takes that opportunity to bombard me with all my obsessive thoughts.
I tap things in groups of three, I say certain words or phrases (eg I’m okay, it’s cool,) three times.
My life is a series of crazy behaviours and quirks. It’s exhausting and makes everyday chores take so much extra time. Every morning I write a Todo list, through out the day, mark items off when I’m done. If it’s not on the list I won’t do it.
What’s the point of all this?
It’s okay to not understand something, but it is not okay to dismiss or diminish someone’s personal struggles when you have obviously only gotten information from popular opinions, mainstream media and television shows.