Build Independence and Skills

16/11/2025

Here’s the truth most people tiptoe around…

The child support system isn’t failing accidentally.
It’s failing because it’s being weaponised from every angle.

And the ones paying the price?
The children.
Every. Single. Time.

Because here’s what nobody wants to talk about:

Some parents weaponise the system to avoid paying —
hiding income, downplaying earnings, manipulating percentages, dodging enforcement, or outright disappearing.

But some parents weaponise the system to extract money —
withholding children, manipulating care arrangements, blocking time, or inflating “primary care” on paper purely to increase payments.

It’s not a gender issue.
It’s a behaviour issue.
It’s a system issue.
It’s a humanity issue.

And the ones actually raising their children — emotionally, financially, physically —
end up drowning in the middle.

The reality?

Child support is supposed to help children.
Instead, it often fuels conflict, control, fear, and financial abuse.

Because financial abuse doesn’t always look like “no money” —
Sometimes it looks like:

• keeping a child from the other parent to protect a higher percentage
• refusing to take a child on your allocated time so the other parent bears 100% of costs
• using payments as punishment
• using arrears to control someone’s mental state
• threatening to stop paying if you “don’t behave”
• lying to the system to game the numbers
• or relying on backlogs and loopholes to avoid accountability

And on the flip side…

• parents who WANT to see their kids but can’t
• parents paying huge amounts but still being told they’re “not enough”
• parents being emotionally blackmailed to pay extra or lose time
• parents financially crushed while the system shrugs

This isn’t parenting.
This is warfare.
This is systems failure.
This is abuse, dressed up as bureaucracy.

And THIS is why your evidence matters.

Not to “win.”
Not to hurt anyone.
Not to score points.

But because when the system is this broken,
your evidence becomes your only protection.

This is why I do what I do.

Because nobody teaches you how to document patterns.
Nobody teaches you what matters in court.
Nobody teaches you how to present your reality so the system

11/11/2025

$167,000 in unpaid Child Support.
$90,000. $60,000. $30,000.

These aren’t numbers ~ they’re childhoods interrupted.

The system is failing separated parents and the kids caught in between.

It’s time for accountability, transparency, and reform.

08/11/2025

Start Living

08/11/2025

04/11/2025

🐎 Melbourne Cup Day: It’s Not All Fun and Games

Today, the nation stops for a race…
But behind closed doors, many families are holding their breath.

Melbourne Cup Day — just like State of Origin, Grand Final Day, New Year’s Eve — is a high-risk day for domestic violence.

📈 In 2017 alone, 1800 RESPECT reported a 17% increase in calls on Melbourne Cup Day.
Why?

Because when you combine alcohol, gambling losses, heightened emotions, group pressure and stress, you don’t create violence, but you remove the filter. The violence was already there.

For many women (and children), today isn’t about champagne and dresses.
It’s about watching the beers stack up, watching for the shift in tone, watching the clock, and preparing for the fallout.

👀 If you're a friend, neighbour, or bystander:

Don’t “mind your own business.”
Violence thrives in silence.

If you hear yelling, smashing, crying — don’t hesitate. Call Police.

If a friend hints at something, say:

“Are you safe?”
“That didn’t sit right — do you want to talk?”

Don’t second guess her. Believe her. Support her.

🧍‍♂️ If you're with your mates:

You can be the circuit breaker.

If someone is being sexist, toxic, aggressive to their partner — don’t laugh it off. Call it out.

Try this:

“That’s not on, bro.”
“She looks uncomfortable — give her space.”
“This isn’t who you are. Let’s bounce.”

Because if it was your daughter being spoken about, touched, or threatened — would you be okay with it?

We need men to call out other men. It works. It matters. It saves lives.

🧍‍♂️ If you're a man who knows he’s gone too far before:

You might blame the drink. But it’s not the drink. It’s the behaviour.
And behaviour can change.

Today, choose a different ending.

Walk away.
Put the drink down.
Call a mate.
Get help tomorrow.

Accountability doesn’t make you weak, it makes you ready to change.

💔 And if you’re a victim:

You are not overreacting.
You are not imagining it.
You do not deserve this.

Have a safety plan. Have someone ready to message.
Leave if you need to. You don’t have to wait for it to “get bad enough.”
Your life matters.

📞 Support Services

1800 RESPECT – 24/7 support for anyone experiencing abuse

20/10/2025

This one feels personal.

Last week, I found myself in a dark place. No big trigger, just that quiet heaviness that creeps in when life feels too much.

On Thursday, I did something for myself. Something that felt terrifying and healing at the same time.

I volunteered for a curvy model bo***ir shoot, not because I felt confident, but because I wanted to remember what self-acceptance feels like and to empower others to do the same.

I’ve carried children. I’ve carried trauma. I’ve carried expectations about what a body “should” look like. And I’ve hidden behind those stories for far too long.

This wasn’t my first bo***ir shoot. I did one a few years ago, but this time felt completely different. I wasn’t doing it to prove anything. I did it because I’m tired of hiding. I’ve survived abuse, motherhood, trauma, and change, and I wanted to finally see myself, not the version the world told me to be ashamed of.

When I saw these photos, I cried. Not out of shame, but out of release. Because for the first time, I saw what others have seen all along: strength, softness, resilience.

These images aren’t sexual. They’re human. They show a 45-year-old mum who has lived, who has scars and stories, and who’s learning not to apologise for either.

For anyone leaving domestic violence, healing from trauma, or trying to remember who they are underneath the shame, this is what reclaiming yourself looks like.

To every woman who’s ever hesitated to be seen, this is your permission slip. To stop hiding. To stop letting shame tell your story. To see yourself through gentler eyes.

📸 Thank you, Lisha Evans Bo***ir Photographer, for creating such a safe, judgment-free space.
You helped me see me again.

09/10/2025

For the ones who keep ending up back here again

Ever notice how you promise yourself “next time will be different”…
and somehow it isn’t?

Maybe it’s the same relationship dynamic in a new face.
Maybe it’s work that drains you no matter the title.
Maybe it’s the quiet voice asking, “Why do I keep doing this to myself?”

I know that place, the mix of frustration and self-doubt that builds when you’ve survived enough to be self-aware, but not yet sure how to shift.

Learning my Human Design was the first time I could see the patterns that had been running me. It helped me understand how my energy actually works, where I’m meant to respond, rest, or lead, and where I’ve been forcing myself to fit someone else’s mould.

If you’re neurodivergent, navigating trauma, or just tired of repeating the same lessons, this might be the mirror you’ve been waiting for.

💫 Decode Your Design — $222
1-hour private reading + your chart + written summary
Grounded. Compassionate. Designed to help you feel seen, heard, and safe.

📅 Book here

29/08/2025

Super Saturday. How are you spending your day?

25/07/2025

I’d love your help sharing this

1 in 3 people
will experience domestic or family violence, coercive control, or abuse in their lifetime — regardless of gender.

📌 This includes men, women, children, and non-binary individuals, across all ages and backgrounds.
📌 Most of it goes unreported — meaning the real number is likely higher.

🎙️ It Was Never About the Bruises – Free Webinar with Alyson Richelle
📅 Wednesday 30 July 2025
🕗 8:00 PM AEST
📍 Private Zoom Webinar

What if the abuse wasn’t just bruises?
What if it was the shutdowns, the guilt, the control… that no one taught you to see?

Join me — Alyson Richelle, former Senior Sergeant of Police and DV survivor — for a free awareness webinar on the real red flags of abuse and how we break the generational cycles.

👩‍🏫 Learn how abuse affects the nervous system, identity, and decisions
💬 Ask questions anonymously
💡 Join a confidential, judgment-free community
🧠 Gain insights no one teaches in court, school, or the system

This isn’t about gender — it’s about truth. And it’s for you, your friend, your child, or someone you love.
Let’s break the silence together. 💜

🔗 Register free now:
👉

It Was Never About the Bruises – Free Awareness Webinar with Alyson Richelle - Date: Wednesday, 30 July 2025 - Time: 8:00 PM AEST - Location: Online via Zoom (link provided upon registration) - Event Description: What to Expect You’ve heard the phrase: “It’s not always about the bruises.” ...